Scarlett & Ethan

"home"

POV. -------

The ride home was an eye-opening experience when it came to the twins. They kept stealing glances at each other throughout the drive. At one point, Kazimir tapped his phone, and Idris nodded without even looking. I thought it might be some kind of code between them, but they didn't tap again after that. I didn't know what it meant, but Kazimir did something on his phone, humming softly, and they exchanged another glance. All through the ride, even though Idris was steering, he kept glancing at Kazimir. I didn't understand the meaning, but I knew it was there. They hummed, scoffed, sighed, and nodded in a silent conversation. I tried—really tried—to see any patterns, any movement beyond the looks. But they could just... understand each other. I wasn't sure if it was my presence that stirred this wordless exchange or if this was simply their way. All I knew was that I wouldn't bother with a listening device. I wondered if they could even keep secrets from each other.

It was still early, but I had no idea how long we'd been in the car. I fell asleep somewhere along the way, waking only when we arrived. It must have been those damn meds. First thing I'll do is throw them down the drain. When I finally came to, I realized someone was carrying me. Kazimir or Idris? I'd never know. Without their personalities, no one would. I hate to admit it, but I envy a connection like that—to have someone understand you so deeply.

 And because I'm Hajya, not Scarlet, I freaked out. I tried to wrestle my way free, and just when he was about to drop me, the other twin appeared and caught me. "You're safe, Hajya," he said. I tensed, tears in my eyes, breathing heavily. I blinked, trying to clear my mind. "Brother," I murmured, and as I relaxed a little, I looked around numbly, taking a deep breath.

"We're home," Kazimir said. 

I nodded. He helped steady me as we moved into the house. We passed the dining hall on our way to the stairs leading up to the rooms, and beyond the hall, I saw Edgar. He sat at the head of the table, coffee in hand, watching us—as if he could see right through me. It was clear I didn't matter to him at all, though there was a curve to his lips, almost like he was pleased I was here, but not in any fatherly way. 

I leaned against one of the twins, as if to shield myself from Edgar's stare. He disgusted me. They all did. If I could, if I thought I could live with myself without the answers I needed, I'd burn this house down with them inside it. But if I did that, I might as well burn with them. I need to find Orion. Dead or alive, I need to find him. I need to say my peace. I want to either heal with him or bury him somewhere that honors him, somewhere I can visit, somewhere he'd be at peace. Mostly, though, I cling to the hope that I'll find him alive. I don't know what's worse—the thought of six years of torture or him being dead. Sometimes, I catch myself wishing he were dead, even though every cell in my body recoils at the thought. Because then he wouldn't be suffering. Because then I wouldn't have let him down. Both wishes are selfish in their own ways.

The twins led me to my room. They stayed to tuck me in, mostly Kazimir's idea. He didn't want to leave just yet, and Idris stood quietly in the corner, watching as Kazimir did whatever he thought might comfort me until he seemed satisfied. He pointed out where everything was, and with a promise to be back in the morning, they finally left.

-.-.-.-.

I'm trying to write more often