My Safe Heaven

Chp 27

Ryan Leblanc
Sitting on my bed with my legs crossed , I gazed out the window at the rain that came down from the sky like hands beating on a drums .. looking down at the box that sat in front of me , I rubbed my hand across it feeling a wave of emotion over come me .. it's been two days since august informed me on some of what he knew .. and to be honest we were still tryna patch everything together it felt like a break was to much to ask for now a days ..

Taking the lid off the box i let out a slight murmur as the tears fell down my face , onto the black and white sonogram that looked back at me with what felt like pity .. my little peanut , my hope , my sense of peace when I'd get treated vile when his or her dad would come have his way with me , and allow his father to do the same if it wasn't all at once ..

Taking out the sonogram and sitting it to the side of me I dug deeper into the box and grabbed the clear blue stick and smiled .. i still had hope I'd be able to carry but due to Tony pushing me down the stairs , and his father kicking me repeatedly not to mention the rape fest that took place prior .. my chances were slim to none but my God is so God that he will surprise you , just when all hope is lost I pray that's the miracle I'm waiting for to finish my testimony ..

Today we decided to do a little movie night which was well needed , being I felt like we ruined Erica and Joce's trip which was the in denial in me .. because they both wanna move here and are looking to move out here which would be awesome .

Being so deep into my thoughts I hadn't even realized August who was sitting on side of me .. looking at the belongings that sat in the box I scurried trying to take the sonogram from him , I watched his face scrawl up in confusion ..

"Ry."

"I don't wanna talk about it August." I spoke softly

"When it's me ain gotta choice you don't eitha maw so talk ." He spoke sitting the sonogram done

"Who do you think you ar-."

"Yo nigga whos startin ta get tired of dis li lame ass attitude , lose it on da real it ain cute .." he spoke looking up at me "Ain yo enemy I promise , I'm mad as hell ain kno bout dis .. but knowin we got bigger shit to worry bout I'm askin you to tell me wassup don't shut me out."

Biting down on my bottom lip I began to fidget with my fingers as the tears started to fall all over again which seems like something I did often these days .

"I was pregnant by him." I spoke softly

I felt disgusting as if i couldn't look at him so I didn't I kept my head down wondering why my body couldn't protect if not me but my child .

"I lost it , him well he and his dad." I spoke clearing my throat "They took turns beating me and assul- assaulting me."

Wiping my face he pulled me closer with no time to spear pushing the box away in the process .

"I probably won't be able to give you that , and I apologize I lack that trait I am sorry." I spoke as my tears soaked his shirt "I'm worthless I'm useless and my baby is gone because of me , I had to write that shit two hundred times on paper they made me wri- write that shit over and over again."

Holding my face into his hands he looked into my eyes looking for the me he once knew but all he got was me reliving trauma being it was being sprung on me again .

"Ry baybeh you jus don't kno." He spoke looking at me "Your perfect in every single way man , Ry what ever it cost we gone have us a baybeh .. you gone be a good ass mama 'nd a great ass wife , Ry I will kill dat nigga so slow dat his folks a feel it." He spoke clenching his jaw "You so fuckin beautiful man , yo southern hood ass nigga luh yo ass."