there for me

epilouge 2 of 2

2 years after

billie's pov
i walked with my arm linked with hers, healing is hard when everything reminds me of marley.

mars and i got engaged a few years ago. but she got scared, she spiralled. and didn't think she could be with me anymore.

it hurt. tremendously. but i couldn't convince her. she needed to sort her life out i just wanted us to stay in touch.

which she hasn't done.

"billie i can't. i can't do this anymore" i found her bawling her eyes out in our kitchen.
"do what baby" i said trying to step closer to her but she just stepped back.

"us. i'm sorry, im really sorry-" she went on a complete ramble and i couldn't get a word in.

"marley"

i don't know if marley knows about this but i had been talking to willow every now and again checking up on her.

i was always worried about her and i could only talk to zoe about it. everyone else is telling me to move on.

"reservation for o'connell" odessa (i know they didn't (publicly atleast) date but i just needed a person) said to the hostess she lead us into the fancy restaurant.

the second i sat down i locked eyes with marley. she was sitting diagonally from us with some other girl. the first thing i noticed was how ill she looked and my heart dropped.

i gave her a soft smile and focused back on odessa. she was talking and talking and talking and i felt so bad for not being able to focus on her.

i shouldn't be here. i'm not over marley yet. and it's cruel to use odessa to get over her.
we ordered our food. we had only been on a hand full of dates so far and i love the girl go bits. but i think as a friend.

after dinner i walked her home before getting in my car and driving to the beach.

the beach along the rocks that connects to a fruit and flower farm. where i got engaged. where i fell in love.

i shouldn't be here.

"i thought you might me here" i spin around almost giving myself whiplash.

"mars" i breathed out. almost relieved
"hey bil" she sat down beside me.

"how are you"
"im, okay. i see you've moved on"
"not really" i could feel her staring at me "i know, i know you want me to" i shook my head. "i can't not think about you, i understand you need your space and i respect that. im glad you're getting better, like look at you go. going out for dinner! i know thats big for you"

"i didn't have a choice, the lady i was with was my food specialist" she was wrapping her fingers around her arms so i gently grabbed one of her hands interlinking our hands.

"still. progress" i said so softly. anytime i talked to her i didn't feel like i needed to yell to be heard. "i just wish you would have stayed in touch"

"i know. i'm sorry. i just didn't want to drag you down"
"marley, im here for you. you know this"

she nodded and i rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand. she rested her head on my shoulder.
"i miss you so much, but im not ready for anything just yet"
"i know mars, ill wait for you.
"billie i don't want you to wait. i don't know how long ill take to be ready. if i'm even going to get better"
"hey no. marley. you will get better, there's no rush. you're the only person i want"

"i don't deserve you. you don't deserve being in love with me. i can't give you what you want"
"marley you are what i want"

she had tears in her eyes so i brought her into my arms. she cried and i held her. she accepted my care. i held her head close to my heart and even thought she was taller than me she curled so perfectly into my lap.

we listened to the waves crashing against the rocks. she had her arms around me under my un zipped hoodie and when i felt her shiver from the cold i zipped it up around us both.

she laughed lightly turning in my lap and putting her arms through the arm holes.
i let her move her arms as they carried mine with hers before she hugged herself letting me wrap my arms around her again.

i missed her so much.

"how did you get here?" i asked as her car wasn't here only mine.
"an uber" she said and i smiled opening my passenger door.

she got in putting the seat all the way back like always. everything felt like it should be. it all felt so natural.

she played her music in my car as we drove back to the city. i knew the way to her apartment and she invited me upstairs.

she then started over explaining that she didn't mean it how it sounded and i assured her i knew what she mean.

we went upstairs and i smiled upon entering the apartment. they had gotten a new couch and some new decor and when i walked in the girls jaw dropped.

"hey guys" i said smiling. they just looked in shock between marley and i.

"nothings happening" marley said making them shut their mouths.

"it's good to have you around again" alyssa said bringing me into a hug.

"yeah, hopefully more often" i looked to marley and she nodded with a smile.

"i shouldn't have pushed you away. talking to you tonight really gave me motivation to live again" she said bringing me in for a hug.

"and i'll always be here for you mars. you're never getting rid of me now. not again"

"i'm happy with that. i know now you'll always be there for me"