Forever His

Chapter 45: Admitting

Mahnoor's POV:

It was the little things, wasn't it? The way he's held me close during the nightmares, his voice steady, his hold unwavering, even though I knew he wasn't the kind of man to be soft or comforting. He doesn't offer words of affection or warmth. But when he pulled me into his arms, after I had woken up screaming from the flashbacks... he didn't let go. He stayed. He shielded me with his silence and his presence, and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe. I hadn't wanted to. But when his arm wrapped around me, so firm and constant, I felt my fears fading, replaced with a warmth that made my chest ache.

There were other moments, too—small, quiet gestures he might not have even thought twice about. Like the time we had dinner together on that first night, an awkward evening that led me to end up on his lap, of all places. I was nervous, clumsy, certain he'd push me away. But he didn't. He just looked at me with that same unreadable look, and for once, I felt... precious. Not to him, perhaps, but precious enough that he didn't reject me, didn't tell me to move. His silence was like acceptance, like he was giving me a place by his side in the only way he knew how.

And then... oh, that long drive. The memory makes my heart twist and flutter all over again. He could have let me wake up, made me deal with the time and discomfort, but he didn't. He drove through the night, his eyes fixed on the road, every mile a silent act of care he'd never admit to. I remember waking up, disoriented, realizing he'd stayed awake just so I could rest a little longer, even if it meant pushing himself to the edge of exhaustion. Who does that? And all without a single word, without ever expecting a thank you or a recognition.

And our mornings... how he'd make me eat my breakfast before he'd even had his own, setting it down with a simple nod, barely sparing me a glance. And yet, I'd catch the way his gaze lingered just a little when he thought I wasn't looking. I felt those moments like a quiet acknowledgment between us, a rhythm I started to crave without even knowing it.

And then there were times he'd break through that guarded wall of his, like when we were at the beach, and I splashed him with water just to get a reaction. He'd looked at me like he couldn't believe I'd dared, pulling me toward him, his grip tight, firm. The tension had crackled around us, a silent reminder that despite all his restraint, there was something beneath it, some part of him that was alive and responsive, if only for a brief moment. His hand on my waist, his gaze dark and deep, like the depths of the sea... I'd felt my heart pounding, realizing that maybe, maybe he felt something, too, even if he'd never admit it.

And now, here I am, finally admitting to myself what all those small gestures and unspoken moments mean. The way he shields me, guards me, even when he tries to remain distant. All those flutters, the strange twisting feeling in my chest every time he looks at me, the way my heart races when he's near... it wasn't some passing affection or attraction. It was love, simple and terrifying as that. Love I never meant to feel, love I thought I'd never find, especially not with a man like Shahmeer.

But it's all so painfully bittersweet. Because I know he'll never feel the same. He's a man who doesn't believe in love, who's walled himself off from anything that might make him vulnerable. I can see it in his every guarded gesture, the way he holds back, never allowing himself to get too close. I can tell his life has been filled with loss, darkness, and betrayal. Who am I to break through those walls? I'm just the woman he was supposed to marry because of my father, the stranger thrust into his life. I was never meant to be someone he'd open his heart to.

But still... I can't help it. My heart is bound to him, as hopeless as that might be. I'll be here, day after day, knowing I might never get more than his quiet, silent gestures, his distant kindnesses. And I'll take them, every single one, because even if he can't love me back, he's given me more than anyone else ever has. He's made me feel safe, cared for, cherished in ways I never thought I'd experience. And maybe... maybe that's enough, even if it's not everything.

So, for now, I'll love him quietly, without expectation. And I'll hope, deep down, that maybe one day he'll see me as more than just a wife of convenience. That maybe, one day, he'll let me in. But even if he never does, I'll be here. Loving him, cherishing these moments, and holding onto the hope that, somehow, I'm enough for him—even if he'll never say it.

So I'll stay here, holding onto these silent pieces of him, letting them hurt and heal me all at once. Because even if he never lets me in, even if he never loves me back—I'll love him enough for both of us.

I love you, Shahmeer.

                                                                                    **************

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I can't lie, the last bits actually had me teary eyed.

This is why I prefer books or movies and shows because like you can read EXACTLY what each character is thinking.

Anyways, grab your tissues because one sided love stories always hurt.

Good luck! 

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Love you ALWAYS! 

See you in the next chapter. Byeee