Mercy

Part 25: Needs

A/N: You wanted smut and story, so here is smut and story (maybe skip this if you have dealt with a lot of sexual violence and or sa, take care of yourselves).

Roger's face flashed in my mind and anger overcame me, he would not keep me away and I did not owe him for the clean up he had provided me with. I already paid, I paid with my youth and I paid with my compliance in returning into his folds.

Just like that my decisions were done. I turned Autumn around and pushed her face first into the dresser just across from the bed and I undressed her fully. She let out a small groan. I stood behind her and pushed her down to lean over, putting my hand in her hair and holding her head with a firm grip.

"Say it again" My tone was harsh.

"I'm yours" I was getting wet and I was sure she was as well. I dragged the nails of my free hand down her spine hard enough to leave a red trail on her skin. I didn't necessarily want to hurt her with this but I wanted her to feel me. I reached around hand she arched her back as I started to circle her clit.

"Good" I said in the same tone as earlier. She let out a small moan. It sounded like my name.

"Please" I did love begging.

"Please, what?" I asked

"Please, look at me" She begged. She was sweet, she really was. I bet she wanted to 'make love'. I wasn't sure how to do that. I let go of her and she turned around. Her eyes were sparkling, I don't think I've seen that before. I brought my hand to her chin and ran my thumb over the now red area where I assume her face was pressed to the dresser. "It's ok, I don't mind" She was talking about being shoved into furniture and held down. Parts of me liked this, others were a little disappointed, she should want more for herself. I knew she said it because she thought that was what I wanted and it was true. Deep down I wanted to inflict pain. However much I pressed it down, I wanted it.

"You deserve better" I whispered. I really tried to do this right. I wanted to romance her. I wanted her to feel loved. I kissed her again, soft and caring. It didn't come naturally and I wondered if she felt it. "Get on the bed" She did and she made sure there was space for me to lay beside her. So, I did. She brushed some hair from my face and let her hand linger.

"Amelia, I don't need better. I don't need perfection. I need you" She moved a little closer.

"I don't know how to do this" I admitted. It wasn't defeat but it was some kind of vulnerability.

"What do you usually like?" I thought about Charlotte. I liked cutting but I didn't like dissection. I liked choking but it freaked me out a little nowadays. How do you tell someone that you like knife play? It feels like a three month anniversary kind of conversation, not a second time in bed together.

"I want you to feel good" My hand wandered and I started to touch her again, lightly stroking her clit up and down. Her eyes fluttered shut for a second. It was cute and I think I liked this. Her hand went to the side of my neck and she pulled me into a kiss. Everything was so soft.

"I know you want more" She said between kisses. "I've always known... You want to hurt people, right?" My hand stopped moving.

"What?" I pulled back to look at her.

"I watched you; a lot. You don't like people. You pretend but I see the way your face changes when you think no one is looking" She put her hand on my breast and started to move her thumb over my nipple. I felt naked, well I didn't have a shirt on so I guess that is one of the reasons. I wondered just how much she knew. Roger wouldn't have told her about my little missteps, would he? "I want all of you, I always did" She starts to move her hips, seeking fiction from my still hand.