Mercy

Part 24: Wants

I contemplated not only my bigger choice, I needed to make a choice right now. Should I see her? How could I not? There would be questions, she would ask me things I wouldn't be able to answer, but I really wanted to so I decided that I should. I drove to her apartment, I preferred to be there so I could leave when I wanted and I didn't have to kick her out, it mad me feel nicer. So I sat in my car and tried to come up with lies to tell the person I cared for most in the world. I didn't feel bad, but I was annoyed at the predicament. I was annoyed at Roger for interfering. The thought of killing him crossed my mind, of course it did, but it would be too personal and I could be connected to him. Also, people would look for him, that is not good.

I drove to Autumn's apartment. I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted to feel better. She left the door unlocked. It was nice but also irresponsible. She was in the kitchen and she didn't hear me as I walked up behind her.

"You should be more careful and lock your door" I stood close enough to reach out and touch her, I didn't. She jumped a little when I spoke, it was cute, she was just so vulnerable. "There are a lot of bad people out there" I stepped into her personal space and grabbed her hips, pushing her against the edge of the sink. "Maybe you like that, huh?" This was my way of distracting her and hopefully she was needy enough to let me. I didn't want to talk, I really didn't want to talk.

"Maybe, maybe I like that" Her voice was low, demure and warm.

"Bet you like the bad boys. The ones who will treat you the way you deserve" I let my hand travel to her lower tummy, teasing the waistband of her pants. I used my other hand to put all her hair to one side and I kissed the back of her neck. "But really you want someone who will take care of you"

"Will you? Will you take care of me Amelia?" I smiled, I wanted nothing more. I was selfish but when it came to sex, at least lately, I'm a giver. I took a small step back and turned her around. We looked into each other's eyes and I could tell just how much she wanted it, no, she wanted me.

"I want to give you everything, baby. I really want you to be happy" I meant that I wanted to be happy but her happiness was just a bonus. I knew that she wanted to hear it. I had mapped her out in my mind, it wasn't unconscious at first but I found myself doing it out of old habit. When she was with me she acted like the grown version of herself but when she got me alone I knew that she was a kid looking at her teenage crush. It was a lot to live up to but I could do it, more importantly, I could use it. I don't think that she would admit it but she wanted that romance, she wanted me to want her the way she did. The reciprocated crush.

I kissed her like she was my first and I think that she believed me because of the small sound leaving her mouth. My hands untuck her short fully.

"Is this what you want?" I tugged at her jeans and undid the button. She nodded and connected our lips once again.

"Yes. Please" She spoke softly into my mouth. Who was I to deny her. I started to walk her to the couch. "No. Bedroom" Oh. I hadn't thought about the bedroom. I froze for a second. She noticed, she noticed everything about me it seems. "You ok?" I responded by pushing her into the bedroom and she ended up on her back. I was ok. This was fine. I straddled her and I removed her shirt. I think that her chest might be my favourite thing to look at, maybe ever. "Strip" she said and my trance was broken. The only thing I could think about was my hands around her throat and I really really wanted it. I wanted to know what it felt like. I stood up abruptly.

We looked at each other. She looked so small, she was the girl I wouldn't let in when she needed me, she grew up but she was the same. I felt my heart racing.

"Is it my father? What did he say?" I hadn't even thought about Roger since I entered the apartment. I had bigger fish to fry and with that I meant the worry of murdering another innocent person.

"He wants us apart and he is ready to ruin me" Talking about him was better than the murders I guess.

"Oh. I understand" She sat up and covered herself with the comforter. I could tell that she assumed I was leaving her.

"I don't want to..."

"But you have to... I know how he is. I can never have someone" I wondered what that meant, to not be able to have someone. "It's ok. I guess in some fucked up way he wants me for himself" She was right, the only thing that mattered was reputation and his children was his legacy. I got angry, she is not his property. I took her hand and pulled her to stand face to face with me.

"I don't want to leave you again, I don't want to disappear" I took off my shirt. "You're not his" I kissed her. "You're mine" The kiss became rough and she bit my lip hard enough to draw blood.

"I'm yours" It felt like winning, I was winning and Roger was losing and somewhere deep inside this was something I didn't know I was missing. This was inappropriate for the occasion I shouldn't be thinking about Roger as I am about to fuck his daughter but a part of me really liked it. I really liked just how messed up this was. 

A/N: Hi, sorry the chapters might be a little short rn. I'm working a lot more so I am doing my best to keep up but yeah, it's a lot. Anyways, ya'll want smut or pure story?