Rrinkers

Chapter 38

The sun shining through the open blinds caused Lucas eye's to slowly open. Why didn't I close them? He reached for his remote and closed the blinds all the way. The room was black.

It had been a few days since his mom's gala. A few days since he had last seen Zoe. It was strange that when he woke up, she was the first thing on his mind and when he went to sleep, she was the last thought. A girl on his mind? That would've sounded impossible to him a year ago. But not now. Not since Zoe came into his life.

He didn't know whether to be scared or to be happy. It was both for him. He was scared that Zoe would turn out to be like every other girl or that she would break his heart unlike anyone else, but he was also happy because that's simply the way she made him feel. Being the type of person he is, he was always suspicious of happiness because the thing that would come next would be the opposite.

While he lay in bed, his mind started going to that day that he had with Zoe. The Gala. It was a rollercoaster of a day but oddly, he wanted to go back. The way she looked, the way she smiled, and the kiss they shared, he wanted a repeat of all that. Not to mention the cuddle session they shared when he spent the night at her house. Never in his life had he spent the night with a girl and not had sex with her. What's happening to me? He thought to himself. Am I losing my touch?

Lucas scratched his exposed chest and then ran his hands through his hair. He contemplated whether he should call Zoe, but realizing that it was barely sunrise, he knew she would be busy. He decided to quickly send her a good morning text instead.

For the next hour, Lucas laid in bed and daydreamed about Zoe. Not only her, but about everything else in life. It was one of those days where he would wake up early but stay in bed just thinking about random stuff. He thought about his ex-job, his life up to that point, his family, and even what he will do with his life now. He didn't have an answer to any of it.

Out of nowhere, his phone started to ring, interrupting his thoughts. In his mind, he hoped it was Zoe but when he checked the phone, he saw that it was just Logan.

"Hey Log," he called him the famous childhood nickname.

"Hey bro, what are you up to?"

"In bed. Why?"

"I was gonna go somewhere today, was wondering if you wanted to come with me."

"Depends where you're going."

"To the state prison."

Lucas immediately felt his blood boil. That was usually the reaction when he thought about his father. He tried his best to use the best coping mechanism he had to forget about Emmanuel but even the avoiding was not working when everything would remind him of his father and what he had put Lucas through. Now he couldn't believe what Logan was asking.

"Logan, I'm not gonna fucking see him. I told you I don't want to see him for the rest of my life."

"Lucas..." He paused for a second before continuing, "I don't want to see him either. But it's what mom would have wanted. She always taught us to be understanding towards him no matter what he did. She always wanted us to see things from another's point of view no matter how wrong they are. I'm doing it for mom."

Thinking about Zoe, Lucas felt an escape. But now, he was thinking about things that broke his heart. He was avoiding the hurt that he had felt when he lost his mom right in front of his eyes. He was avoiding the fact that he treated her like shit before his father got caught. He hated himself for letting her affair get in the way of having a mother and believing his sick father.

"I don't think I can do it, Logan." He was the most honest he had been in a while.

"Yes, you can."

It wasn't a lie. He really didn't think he could sit there and talk to his dad after everything that happened. "Lucas, listen, I know what happened was the worst possible scenario to ever come to reality. But he is still our dad and we owe him one visit so he can explain himself at least."