I had a lot more things to do since we lived together. I was her financial and
educational advisor. She got some money and was looking for an open
university to study.
"Here's a good one. It's close to our condo."
"The cost of tuition is very high. I wanted to study where it is cheaper."
"This is expensive, but you don't have to pay for the trip, you don't have to
get up early. It could be the same expenses in the end,"
I suggested it, but she was still stressed about it.
"Tuitions for 4 years are not cheap."
"You can continue writing your novel. They paid you 100,000 baht. You
will have around 400,000 for 4 books."
"Publishing does not mean that all books will make money."
"You can publish it yourself. Now you have some money."
The gentle eyes seemed to light up. She smiled brightly at me.
"That's true. I forgot I have some money now. I'll make the next one so
good that readers will pre-order it. I don't need the editor anymore."
I looked at the beautiful eves and that smiled and that illuminate the whole
world with hope. It was the first time I felt happy with someone. I never felt
empathy with other people.. I looked at my watch and realized it was time
to go. I had a date with my mom. She wanted to talk to me about
something. I left Aoey to do school research at home.. I left home only to
find a surprise I didn't expect. My mom had set me up on a blind date....
"His name is Tod. He is my friend's son. He is a medical student."
After my mom made the presentation, the man looked at me with dreamy
eyes, he just liked other boys.
"Yeah."
"Why don't you introduce yourself?"
"I guess you already did it for me. Hi Tod, I'm Genlong. I am 20 years. My
dad is a man and my mom is a woman."
I wrapped my arms around my chest and leaned back in boredom. My
gesture gave my mother a headache.
"Mind your manners, Gen!"
"It's okay,"
Tod said in his low voice and looked at me adoringly. He looked at me like
I was a child and I hated that.
"It's okay, I know you didn't have time to teach her."
I was immediately upset when I heard that comment. He implied that my
mom didn't raise me right.
-
"Big sarcasm."
I smiled and so did he.
"I have to keep up with smart people."
Strangely, I felt good about him when he wasn't bored. It made me more
interested in him. The meal passed peacefully, I even felt a little bad when
he spoke like that in front of my mother. After the meal, he walked me to
the car and apologized.
"I'm sorry for making that comment. I'm only human."
"That was hard for the first time."
"You're a problem."
The handsome future doctor had already given me the nickname as if we
were best friends and smiled at me mockingly. It was strange that I didn't
hate him like I usually do with men..
"I'll Leave."
"Am I going to see you again?"
He raised his eyebrows at me. I shrugged.
"Even the wind.."
That was all I said. I didn't like giving false hope or misunderstandings. So I
got in the car and left. My mother, who was now sitting next to me, smiled
at me. She wanted feedback on the future doctor. I was agitated for her.
"Mom, I'm only 20 years old and I'm still studying. How could you
introduce me to a boy? Does dad know anything about this?"
"It doesn't matter. I'm just introducing you to a good boy. I didn't tell you to
get married tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I evaluated this boy; He is
handsome, rich, well educated, he comes from a good family. He is perfect.
You couldn't find a guy like that again!"
"He is too perfect. I wanted to be the perfect one in the relationship."
"Then you can marry yourself."
"It's what I thought."
"Well, try to hang out together. You are not losing anything. You are too
obsessed with yourself. You think you're the best in the world. Open your
mind. I don't like your way of thinking."
"I'm living my life."
"I'm worried about you. You're obsessed with yourself,"
She said with a very concerned tone. She seemed to be very worried
because I had no friends. She was worried I would turn into a heartless
bitch.
"I'm not that bad. I love dogs and cats. I love you and dad. I know how to
love.."
"What about men?"
"I don't have one now."
"Something might happen to you."
"What's that?"
"Another beautiful girl like you would have a new boyfriend every day. But
you don't like anyone. Many men tried to get you but you don't like any of
them. Be honest, do you like girls?"
His question made me stiff. I looked away trying to avoid her eye contact.
"What do you mean? I don't like anyone yet, but that doesn't mean I like
girls."
"Well, I was just asking. Why do you have to be upset?"
"I'm not upset, mom!"
"Well, you're obviously upset. Your mood is changing. Do you have your
period?"
"I don't want to talk to you anymore."
After dinner, I picked up my car home and drove back to my condo. There
were a lot of people who had bothered me in a single day. My mom
introduced me to a man. My brother passed by without warning. Great
welcomed me when he saw me enter.
"How's your blind date going with the guy who got you mom?"
I quickly looked at Aoey after that question. The soft eyes didn't make any
eye contact since I entered.
"You know everything, huh? Why are you here anyway?"
"I'm here to see you."
"You knew I was with mom. Why the hell are you here?"
He knew that I knew why he was here. Great rolled his eyes and tried to
make up some excuses. Silly brother! He was so annoying.
"I want to see you. I knew you'd come back here. I also helped Aoey look
for a college."
"How long have you been an expert on this topic? Go home. There are only
girls in this room. A boy in the room makes it even more difficult for my
routine."
"Do whatever you want."
"I'll get naked!"
I looked at my brother fiercely.
"Go home!"
"Why are you kicking me out? I wanted to be with you."
"No, I want to be alone."
"You are not alone. Aoey is here too."
"I wanted to be alone with Aoey. Just the two of us. Come on!"
My unfriendly tone startled Great a little. He left reluctantly. I turned
around to look into the soft eyes. She was now surprised with what I had
just said. Then my face turned red....
"I just wanted him to get out of here."
"Okay."
Aoey nodded and still didn't look at me. She didn't say much. I thought it
was strange because that morning she was still very talkative.
"Are you okay, Aoey?"
"I'm fine."
I grabbed her arm but she let go. I felt rejected. My ego was bruised. Did
you know how many people wanted me to touch them? But she rejected
me.
"What's the matter? You're grumpy with me all the time,"
I asked frankly. She paused with that question, but still she turned her back
on me.
"I'm never bad-tempered with you."
"You are now. You're mad at me for something and I want to know why."
My tone was now firm, but she still rejected it.
"I'm not in a bad mood."
"If you tell me why..."
I approached her and did something! I never thought she could do it. I
wrapped my arms around her body. I rested my face on the back of her
neck. I smelled something nice.
"I will reward you. I do not want to fight with you.."
Wait...what was I doing? My legs just walked towards her and my arms
wrapped around her. I surprised myself and realized what I had just done 2
seconds later. But if she let go of me and left now, it would be even more
awkward.. Aoey was also startled. I could feel the tension in her body, but
after a while she relaxed and gently touched my arms.
"I'm not mad at you, really. But I don't know how to explain it."
"Test me. I'm listening."
She didn't reject me, so I stayed where I was. I rested my chin on her
shoulders. The smell of her hair fragrance made me relax and I didn't want
to move. Was I trying to be sweet?
"I don't feel good knowing that you went out with a boy."
"Oh?"
I paused as she tried to explain.
"How can I explain this? I'm worried about you. I don't want you to meet
the wrong guy."
"Do not worry about me. My mom already evaluated it. He is perfect, good
looking, well educated and comes from a good family."
"So you like it now?"
Aoey shook my arms and took a step forward. She tried to escape from my
embrace.
"If he's so good, you should go out with him."
"I didn't say I like it."
"He is so perfect."
Her harsh tone confused me. She was in a good mood and now she's not.
"He's good, but that doesn't mean I like him. If I like someone, it's just a
matter of whether I like him or not. That's all."
I wrapped my arms around myself and felt upset.
"If you were aman, I would think you were jealous of me."
"Crazy."
"Yes, I'm crazy because you're not a man, that's why I'm confused."
That also made her feel uncomfortable.
"I'm just worried about you. I'm worried that if you have a boyfriend, you
might be distracted with your studying."
"Is that what worries you?"
I smiled, now feeling challenged and happy. I thought I was cute for being
so confused.
"Maybe I worried too much. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to feel sorry. We are close friends. It's normal for you to
worry about me."
"Okay."
Aoey looked at me.
"It's normal to feel worried about close friends.."
"Yeah."
"Great kisses me on the cheek today."
She said..I opened my mouth in surprise. I felt like I had been hit with
something hard in the stomach. Inlooked at Aoey like she was so angry.
"And you let him do that to you?"
I yelled at her uncontrollably.
"Yes, I just wanted to know if you would be okay with that."
I clenched my fist and looked fiercely into her eyes. Now I started to lose
control of myself.
"Were you okay with that?"
"Was"
A smile appeared on her face. Her bright eyes made me sensitive. I felt like
I was a little kid who got caught doing something wrong, but I didn't even
know what I did wrong.
"Did you feel anything? "
Aoey walked towards me and took off her glasses. She was shorter than me
and she looked at me, showing me her beautiful eyes.
"Do you feel worried about me?"
"Hey!"
"That's how I felt when I heard you went on a blind date with a man."
Her sweet smile made my heart beat faster. Her sweet voice hypnotized me
and she made sure I followed every word she said.
"You mean Great didn't kiss you?"
"You know I don't like anyone touching me. I feel like everyone is dirty
except you, Gen."
Damn! I forgot about that. I was so upset thinking about another guy kissing
her and I forgot about the possibility. She held my face with both hands
after seeing me dazed.
"What would you do if Great really kissed me?"
"You do not like it, right?"
"No. I do not like it."
"That's weird. We both feel this way."
"Yeah."
"If we were men, we would be jealous, but we are just close friends."
l averted my eyes to the ground. I asked her to wear glasses because I
couldn't stand those eyes.
"Yes, that's true."
I admitted it.
"So, I don't feel so good today because I was jealous of you."
She seemed to be talking to herself and hugged me from the front. She now
likes to be touched by me. She was very different from how she was in the
beginning. I guess we were closer than before. I wrapped my arms around
her and hugged that small body tightly. I barely touched anyone like
that. It was strange that I let her do this. She was my first friend. My first
hug, my first jealousy.
"Yes, I was jealous too."
I knew that wasn't normal. I was a smart girl all my life. So I was going to
be smart about this too. Now the lights were off and we both went to bed. It
was more than 30 minutes in which we werensilent. I pretended to be
sleeping but my head was full of what had happened. My head was like a
VDO replaying scene from that day back and forth. Aoey twirled from side
to side. She finally reached out to my arm, wrapped it carefully around, and
approached me. I could smell the
soapiness of her.
She was calmer when I hugged her. That happened quite a bit. She felt
calmer when I hugged her. She felt safe and slept all night. But now she
couldn't sleep because my heart was beating too fast. I noticed my heart was
beating very fast, It skipped a beat from those sweet eyes. Now I didn't like
myself
«Tell me, do you like girls?»
My mom's question now echoed in my head. Many feelings went through
me. I didn't even know what they were. I didn't feel bad but at the same
time I didn't feel good either. While I was fighting with myself in my head,
Aoey approached me and turned her face towards mine. Our faces were so
close to each other but I pretended to be sleeping. We were silent for a long,
long time. I thought she must be sleeping. But I felt like it was still moving.
The faint smell of soap was closer and I felt a light touch..... in my lips a
A kiss.
Her lips were pressed against mine softly. I couldn't open my eyes because I
was supposed to be sleeping. She stole a kiss from me. The thief turned to
the other side and breathed calmly. At that moment, I opened my eyes in
shock in the darkness. I had difficulty breathing because what had just
happened was unexpected. No, this wasn't what friends do.
It didn't feel like we were friends
