I cried only for a short period of time because I didn't see the point in
dwelling on it. I just released my emotion and that was it. I didn't hold on to
it for long. And I hated myself when I had two swollen eyes. It looked ugly,
didn't it? I wouldn't cry again.... Everyone heard my story. I just sighed and
rubbed my back. I also didn't know what to do to help me feel better. We
had a long history and I decided to get out of the relationship. Today she
took revenge on me. It was reasonable. I just had to bear the result of my
action... that was all...
I understood all the pain she went through. I left her to live with a mother,
who she believed didn't love her, it was like I left her with a total stranger.
When I came back, she wants revenge and made me feel pain. She did
pretty well though. She treated me like a piece of shit.
"I think I should go back to Macau with John."
John, Tod and I were eating in the hotel lobby. I hadn't eaten anything since
morning because I spent the whole morning with Aoey. I used all my energy
until my body was so weak. John looked at me and devoured the food
quickly. He patted my back adoringly.
"When is John going to leave?"
"He said in another 3 days."
"So you're not staying for a wedding. It's in a couple of days."
I gave Tod a sarcastic smile.
"You shouldn't ask."
The entire time we ate, John gently touched and twisted my hair
obsessively. Tod saw all this and couldn't help but make a comment in Thai.
"He loves you so much. You should marry him, so you can forget about the
other person."
"Do you think marrying him will help me forget her?"
I asked him curiously.
"No, I don't think so,"
Tod said and shook his head.
"That is why I am asking."
"Other people would do it to escape this pain."
"I wanted to live my life more intelligently. I did so many things wrong.
But I won't miss this. I don't want to hurt a third person."
"You could just open your legs."
"I can do much more than that but no, thank you."
We talked and laughed playfully. John looked back and forth curiously. I
hadn't explained anything to him. Aoey and Ten walked in and stopped at
our table.
"Can we sit with you?"
Usually, Aoey wasn't someone who wanted to hang out with a lot of people.
She probably saw me and wanted to inflict more pain on me, so she asked
me to join the table.
"Sure."
Tod casually invited her to sit down and asked the waiter for a menu. Her
gentle eyes paid no attention to the menu that was handed to her. She just
looked at John and me in an unfriendly tone.
"She doesn't want me."
John said while playing with my hair without looking at Aoey. The
foreigner seemed to realize that since yesterday but he didn't want to say
anything.
"What makes you think that?"
"The way she looks at me. He doesn't like me to be too close to you. She is
possessive of you."
"Speaking English is rude. Speaking another language that people don't
understand."
Aoey said and looked at me. The way she expressed herself now was too
obvious. She couldn't control herself.
"John said you must be jealous of me. You don't seem to like John."
Tod translated for me, which made Aoey and I feel uncomfortable. Ten
looked at Aoey and me curiously. The little girl quickly cleared her throat.
"Jealous? I just looked at it. They seem to love each other."
"I'm kidding. John is talking to Gen about the wedding."
Tod lied and made everything worse. I slowly reached my hand towards his
under the table and pinched it. He seemed to enjoy this drama.
"Come on Todd."
"I thought you wanted to know. I just translated for you. Gen will return to
Macau within the next 3 days."
Aoey seemed surprised when she heard that. She looked at me sadly but I
turned to look away. I was so confused by her reaction. She hated me, but
why did she look sad?
"Why do you leave so soon? Won't you stay for the wedding?"
"You're not the only one who will get married. She is also getting married
soon. She also needs to prepare."
....
"Isn't it too soon?"
I thought I just proposed to you. Have you already responded?
Aoey was curious. I didn't want to talk about this, so I quickly changed the
subject.
"I'm sorry I can't stay until your wedding. But I'll pass you the money
envelope."
Aoey quickly got up. She had already forgotten her food. She looked at me
and answered me.
"It depends on you. It doesn't matter if you attend or not. It won't help my
wedding."
I looked at her as she walked away. I sighed and felt very sad. I felt like she
treated me like a piece of trash. The trip to the beach was over. I returned to
Bangkok and now it was time to return. John and I made an appointment at
Suvarnnabhumi airport 1 hour before departure time. We stayed at a
different hotel, so we didn't hang out. If we stayed too close, I wasn't sure if
I could keep him away from me or not. That was my sensitive moment, it
seemed like I opened up easily to anyone. I finished packing and was ready
to leave. The phone in my hotel room rang. It was a call from outside.
When I picked up the phone, I heard Aoey's voice from the other end and it
didn't sound good at all.
[You leave today?]
We didn't make any contact in the last 3 days. Aoey chose to call me 1 hour
before I planned to leave the hotel. Let's see what she will do this time..
"Yes, I'm leaving today at noon."
[I'm sick.]
I did not say anything. We were both quiet. To be honest, I didn't believe
her story at all, but I was still curious to know what had happened to her.
"Did you take the medicine?"
[No. I don't like medicine.]
"You won't get better if you don't take them. You take some medicine and
get some rest. I have to go.
[You can come see me?]
Her demanding tone put a smile on my face. It would bother me if it was
someone else. But Aoey was my kitty who was always unpredictable. She
sounded adorable. Even though she treated me like a piece of trash.
"How can I go? I have to be at the door at least 1 hour before."
[I'll wait for you. You have to come.]
She hung up the phone and left all the pressure on me. She knew my weak
point. She wasn't that clever, but after 3 years, she was quite the
mastermind. I looked at the watch on my wrist. Although I didn't buy it, I
was worried that she was sick...And in the end... I lost to her. Instead of
going to the airport, I told my taxi to drive in the opposite direction to see
Aoey. She came down to look for me because I was a stranger, I couldn't go
up to her condo. Aoey walked in a t-shirt and shorts. Her glowing skin and
that outfit made me a little hesitant. She was cute Damn! She always
dressed like that before, I wasn't that obsessed.
"What happened?"
After we entered her room, the little girl turned around and looked at me.
"I miss you, Gen."
I sighed because I was tired of her flirtation. She was most adorable when
she was trying to flirt a couple of years ago. But after 3 years, the innocent
in her was gone.
"I'm here to check if you're okay. It sounds like you are. I'm leaving."
I glanced at my watch John is waiting for me now. The little girl grabbed
my wrist tightly. Her sweet eyes seemed angry when I talked about John.
Wait... .
"Aoey, you are a mature person. If you're okay, I..."
The little girl pulled my neck down for a kiss on the lips. I had more or less
prepared myself for that, so I pushed her away from her.
"Are you rejecting me?"
"It won't work this time. I won't fall for the same trick again. I have to go."
"My Gen."
"I'm sorry, Aoey. I have to go."
I quickly turned around to leave the room. I tried to be strong, but inside I
was very weak. The sweet eyes hugged me from behind and buried her face
in my back.
"Do not go. I want you here with me."
"I'm here but I have to go now."
"What do I do to make you stay?"
"Nothing because I have to go."
"You want to eat me?"
"No."
We looked at each other for a long time that felt like an eternity. Aoey
looked down at the ground. I felt guilty but I didn't know why.
"If I really can't make you stick with sex, that means I really have no value
to you."
"Why do you say that? You are not just someone who has value only
because of sex."
"I never had anything, no money, no beauty. The only thing that made you
interested in me was sex. But today you reject me."
"Please stop my head spinning."
I said and sighed.
"You really hurt me. If you want confirmation, our sex on the beach really
hurt me. You won."
The soft eyes looked at me with surprise as I admitted it..
"You looked good when you were at the beach."
"If I didn't feel anything, I wouldn't leave Thailand... It hurts. You have
successfully hurt me."
I gently touched her cheeks lovingly again and again.
"I want to heal my wound. Please let me go."
"This is your excuse, right?"
Aoey still didn't believe me.
"You just wanted to go see John, so you gave up easily. You love, John so
you sleep with John."
"Then I love you too because I sleep with you too."
"That's it. You hurt me. I'm leaving."
I took out an envelope full of money and handed it to her.
"This is for your wedding. Save this for your future."
"I wish you happiness."
I opened the door to leave, but was surprised to see Teacher Salee at the
front door, trying to open it. The old woman looked at me surprised but
happy to see me.
"Gen."
"Master Salee."
"Where are you going? Stay and chat with me."
I smiled awkwardly and looked back at the watch on my wrist.
"I really have to go and catch a flight. I'm glad to see you again."
I turned to look at Aoey. She's sick. It's good that you are here. Please take
care of her. Finally I got out and didn't look at her again because I would
never be able to get out if I saw her eyes again. Her gaze invited me to fall
into a trap she set for me. The trap had thorns inside that would pierce me
like a wounded animal. It was strange that I felt good about the trap. But
she was getting married in a couple of days. When I went down to the
lobby, I asked for my luggage at the reception. While I was waiting,
Teacher Salee called me from behind.
"Gen, don't go yet. I have something to return to you.."
Teacher Salee gave me my Patek Philip watch, the one my dad bought me. I
looked at it with surprise because I thought it had been sold for money.
"You didn't sell it."
"I took it to the pawn shop, but then I paid to get it back when I had enough
money. Luckily I have it with me when I see you now. I would like to return
it to you."
I took my beloved watch in my trembling hand. I felt like I had regained a
long lost friend. I recognized my proud friend from the past. It was the
symbol of my effort and dedication in reading and passing the exam to enter
university. And it was the symbol of Aoey's success today....
"It's nice to see you again."
"Thanks for everything. If I hadn't had your help..."
"What do you mean?"
Aoey's voice appeared from behind. She overheard the conversation
between Teacher Salee and me. She didn't get all the details, but she
understood what happened.
"Aoey,"
Teacher Salee called her daughter's name. Aoey looked at her mother
fiercely.
"How did you get Gen's watch?"
"Aoey, don't be noisy.I asked her to have it."
Suddenly, as I finished my sentence, all the money in the envelope was
thrown in my face. Money flew everywhere. Aoey hit me like crazy.
"What's the matter?"
I used my arms to block her. The little girl kept crying and hitting me.
"You can't do this to me. You leave and you will leave me with all these
guilty feelings. You left me alone for so long and now you tell me that you
secretly helped me all the time to make me feel guilty, right? It's you? Why
do you have to be such a bitch?!"
She kept hitting me. She looked obviously confused and sad. I only
defended myself but did not fight back.
"I'm sorry."
"You can't pretend to be a bitch and then be nice to me. You made me feel
confused. You can't do this to me. Who's playing who now?"
Aoey hugged me tightly and cried loudly.
"What should I feel now? Do you want me to hate you or love you? Choose
one! Choose one!"
I was surprised and tried to stay calm. Time was running out. I caressed her
back to comfort her, who was now hugging me so tightly as if she was
afraid I might disappear... What should I do? Should she tell her
everything?
"What do you think?"
"It doesn't matter what I think, but I want to know what the hell is going on.
You left me because I didn't have enough money. But you gave your
expensive watch to my mom to sell and you spent it on me. What did you
want? Do you want me to feel guilty until I die?"
I tried to think of an excuse but nothing came out.
"Do you think this will help ease the pain of what you did? Do you think I
will forgive you after you gave me just one watch? You have to be punished
much more than this. You can't go back to Macau. I will not leave you. I
won't do it!"
"What do you want me to do?"
I finally said it. There was nothing I could do to replace what I did3 years
ago.
"I'll do what you want me to do."
"Come to my wedding."
"Give me at my wedding. Then we will be even.
