It had been a disaster. Great destroyed things in the restaurant and we ended
up at a police station. Uncle Somkit was there to help solve the problem.
Uncle Somkit came home in the same car as us. He quickly glanced at Aoey
and realized that this was the girl I asked him to investigate. But he didn't
say anything. We sat in silence the whole way until I took Great and Uncle
Somkit home and then I left with Aoey back to the condo. I realized there
would be a storm soon. Aoey seemed to be seething with anger at me and I
was prepared for what was to come. I was determined to respond.
Suddenly when we were at home.
"I'm going to move."
My heart dropped to my ankles. I prepared for a big fight but not to hear
that she wanted to move out
"Where will you go?"
"There will be somewhere I can go."
"Are you trying to get back at me?"
"No, but two people who hate each other can't live together."
Finally, she got straight to the point. I stood with my arms around me and
looked into the gentle eyes that now looked so angry. I wanted to see how
far she would go. Go ahead!
"When did I hate you?"
"Haven't you realized that you hate me?"
Her breathing was short and rapid. She clenched her fist tightly.
"You destroyed my relationship with all my friends. You boasted about your
money and belittled my friends. You treated them like shit! Why did you do
that?!"
"Well, they really are a piece of shit."
They didn't deserve to be her friends. They took advantage of it and judged
people from outside of it. I could tell by the way they looked at me.
"But they are my friends."
"I'm your friend too."
"Friends shouldn't do what you did. You called Great at the restaurant to
make things worse..You told Great that I had a date with Jade."
"So you were on a date with Jade?"
I was interested in that topic. The jealousy inside me was boiling and now I
wanted to fight.
"You are a whore."
"It's my own business. I can see whoever I want to see. I can do what you
do too."
"I'm not surprised..."
I looked at her and thought of the most painful word that occurred to me. I
decided to throw a hand grenade directly at her face.
"I'm not surprised your mom thought you were flirting with your
stepfather."
Aoey's hand hit right on my face. It was hard enough to make me lose my
balance. I was stunned with a pain in my cheek. The soft eyes squeezed her
fist so hard. I was filled with rage now that I felt guilty for saying that.
"Bitch! How could you say that? You know nothing!"
"What should I know then? Tell me."
"One thing you should know is that you are the worst friend I have ever had
in my life. I hope you are happy alone and die alone."
The girl chose the worst insult she could ever think of. She was
overwhelmed with feelings and guilt. She knew she shouldn't say that, but
now she was shocked by what she had just said.
"Okay, now I know."
"Know what?"
She continued and pushed my chest. She wanted a fight.
"Now I know I'm a bad friend."
"This is when you should deny it. If you say you're a bad friend, it means
it's true. You hate me!"
"Whatever you wanted to say."
I was so weak now. My brain was numb and I was confused and I wanted to
leave. I turned to leave the room.
"Why do you hate me so much? Is it because I love you?"
I clenched my fist and said nothing. The crying from behind shook me.
"Is it so bad that I love you? Is it so bad?"
"I do not hate you. Actually it's an opposite, a total opposite."
I turned around to look into her soft eyes.
"I hate myself for that. Please understand!"
"I do not hate you. I hate myself for being like this."
We both looked into each other's eyes. My tears rolled down my cheeks but
I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I didn't want anyone to see
my weakness.
"I hate myself for being so confused. I hate feeling immense pain, but I still
can't accept myself. I envy you because you can express what you feel. But
I can not..."
"You're embarrassed to admit that. How are you going to express it?"
The soft eyes grabbed my wrist when I turned around about to leave.
"What do you mean you don't hate me? Does that mean you're..."
"Don't say it Aoey! Do not say it!."
"What happened to your face? Did you fight with her?"
"She thought I called you to get her with another man. I wanted to tell you
that Jade is not her boyfriend. They are friends."
Even though I fought with her, I tried to cover up for her and fix her
situation. Damn! I was Genlong. I was supposed to be a bad girl, not a saint
like this. Great hugged me as tight as a python. I tried to push him away
from me.
"Let go! What are you doing?"
" I'm very sorry. I don't want you to get hurt like that. I'll explain it to
Aoey."
"Just explain your issue."
I went back to my room and closed the door. I didn't want anyone in my
space. No one could see me weak, especially when I was sad. Tears were a
sign of weakness. I had determined that no one would ever see my tears
except myself. But Aoey did it that day. She made me feel guilty by saying
that. I felt bad because she thought I hated her and she wanted to destroy
her. The worst thing was that I said what I felt. That was wrong? Was it
sinful?... When I was tense, I liked to relax by soaking in a warm bathtub. I
thought the tension would come out of my pores and go down the drain. But
the tension continued to boil in my heart. It was sadness, but not annoyance.
This is how sadness felt..
I felt so much pain when the person I love looked at me disgustingly. The
worst of the worst was that she was my best friend and I fell in love with
her. Could I fall in love with my best friend? My phone rang as my thoughts
drifted. I saw the name of the caller and answered the phone by turning on
the speaker. I was still in the bathtub.
"What do you want? I'm in the bathtub."
[You must be stressed to get in the bathtub.]
No one really knew that this was the way I released my stress. Only people
within the family knew.
[Aoey is here to see you. She can't get in. Open the door.]
I sat down immediately. My heart was beating fast.
"What? Where? Here at home? How can she know where my house is?"
[I brought her here. Now it's in front of the room.]
I hesitated before answering.
"No. I want to be alone today. Tell her to go away. Please take her back to
the condo and don't touch her."
I didn't try to play hard to get it or anything, but my eyes got really swollen.
I didn't want anyone to see me when I was weak. After a warm bath for an
hour, I felt lighter and a little dizzy..
"Gen....Gen."
I frowned when I heard a scream somewhere. I saw Aoey standing outside
looking at me. I thought she was gone. I didn't open the window or realize
she was there. I closed the curtain to tell her to leave. But she was still there
by the window, she stayed where she was. Why was she pressuring me? I
wasn't ready to talk.
"Great!"
I knocked on Great's door. He smiled because he knew why I was there.
"Why didn't you take your girlfriend home? I said I don't want to see her."
"She's so stubborn. She insisted on talking to you today. She chose to wait
there."
"She wants to pressure me."
"You should talk to her."
"I'm not ready to talk."
"Well, she'll stay there all night. Do you know how many people die from
dengue?"
I growled at him and wrapped my arms around my chest. I wasn't that easy.
If it were easy, I would have too many husbands by now. Many men
pressured me in many different ways. But no one had achieved it until then.
I couldn't let a girl succeed today.
"Give her some mosquito repellent spray!"
I turned to go back, but Great grabbed my arm and looked at me like a
puppy.
"Please, sister. I don't want her to get sick."
"No!"
But actually..... I went down to see her in silence. I stood there silently
watching her as she tried to get the mosquitoes off of her. I looked at her
with a mixture of feelings of adoration and frustration before coughing
lightly just to get her attention.
"Why are you organizing a party for mosquitoes?"
The girl turned around and jumped away immediately. When she jumped
out of her seat, my face was so close to her. Her face almost collided with
mine. I took a step back and spoke to her with my arms crossed over her
chest.
"Oh, it's good that you're finally here to talk to me."
"Your tone is totally different from last night. Don't you hate me anymore?"
I said sarcastically but I also expected her to respond but she didn't say
anything in return. Aoey stood there with a sad face. I wasn't sure what
Great told her, but she changed completely.
"I was crazy."
"Do you know when people are most sincere?"
I crossed my arms and looked directly into her eyes.
"When they are drunk and angry."
"I'm sorry."
She gave up so quickly. What was I supposed to do now? Had she finished
answering me? She had to stop with those puppy dog eyes. Damn!
"You didn't do anything wrong today. It was me. I despise your friends and
called Great to fight you. Oh! I'm a bad friend and I'll die alone like you
said."
I emphasized what she said. I could not avoid it. Aoey looked like a sad
puppy now with tears in her eyes.
"Hit me,"
She said sadly. That made me feel so weak.
"What?"
"I know what I said made you very sad. Please hit me back."
She put her face closer to my face. She looked like she was prepared for a
kiss instead of a hit. I took a step back. She was flirting...again. I turned my
face away nervously. She seemed to know that I was nervous.
"Or we are both half to blame. Today I misunderstood you and I got upset
with you. And you also said something unpleasant to me. I think we're even.
So let's get through this."
I realized what I told her about her stepfather. That made me feel guilty. I
never felt guilty in my life before. Even when I killed a gecko when I
closed the door, I blamed the same gecko for being there and staining my
beautiful door. I kind of let it all go because I felt so guilty for her. What
was wrong with me?
"What did Great tell you? Why are you completely changed?"
"I know how good you are to me."
"Oh?"
"You asked your mother to publish my book, right?"
You rascal! Finally she told her. I bit my lip hard in anger. I had to put him
in his place today. Bastard!
"I read it and I think it's good. I think you will make money, so I posted it.
If it's not good, the publisher won't do it. It's bad for them too, you know."
I looked her in the eyes and crossed my arms.
"Go ahead and get mad at me. You can hate me more than you already do. I
did something you didn't like."
"I'm not angry and I don't hate you."
"Because?"
"Love blinds me and makes me forgive."
I paused and pretended I hadn't heard her. I almost fainted. She waited for
this moment, didn't she?
"Let's just say I'm not a good person. I'm a bad friend like you said."
"What kind of bad friend would go out of her way to help me? You also
bought all my books."
"When did I do that?"
I was surprised because I was pretty sure she didn't see that and Singha had
put them in the car.
"Great, show me your trunk. He said you bought them all and kept them at
home. You did it to help me, right?"
"Who would be so crazy? I bought them for my friends."
"I didn't know you had so many friends."
Now I was nervous. The sweet eyes cornered me. I had no way to escape.
What was that? She was such a different person than the one had hit me
with. And those eyes...
"You helped with my homework by getting my report an A."
"Oh really? An A?"
I said with surprise, but then I realized that I was supposed to be angry.
"I had some free time."
"You went out with Nut because you asked Nut to watch me during
orientation."
She looked at me with her flirtatious eyes. I assumed that was what Great
said too.
"I called Nut and talked to him. He told me everything you did that day."
What else did she know? Did she even know that I was imagining seeing
Justin Bieber naked swimming with me on a date? I shifted nervously when
I saw her flirtatious look. I didn't feel comfortable with this feeling. I felt
shy.....
"We are friends. I was worried about you as a friend."
"You are my close friend. I should know you better... but I didn't. I said
something stupid and it hurt your feelings. Please, I'm sorry."
Please? Her eyes and her tone...where did she learn to do that? And that
sweet talk? As if she knew I would melt hearing that. It worked very well. I
looked around nervously, but it seemed like her eyes were a strong magnet
that attracted me. I couldn't focus on anything but her. I was sweating... hot.
"Did you say you should get to know me better? What do you know about
me?"
"You're kidding yourself that you don't feel anything. But you feel them...
so much."
The smaller girl took a step forward. My legs got so weak when she came
closer. I stopped when I could no longer move back, my back was trapped
with a tree trunk. She looked at me and smiled triumphantly for having
cornered me.
"Do you like to have the control. You are a perfectionist who cared a lot
about what others think of you. But deep down I see that you are very
pretty."
It didn't sound nice to me. I heard and thought those were not good traits for
a good friend. But I felt very shy because of the way she looked at me.
"It doesn't sound nice."
"You are pretty in my eyes."
"Hey!"
I called her to make her stop. She expressed too much of her feelings.
"I told you before not to show..."
"I love you, Gen."
"I know. You say it often."
"I love you and I want you..."
The soft eyes looked at me. She hypnotized me and grabbed my hand and
pressed it on her left breast. I felt her heartbeat.
"I want to swallow you whole. If I can..."
My throat went dry in surprise. I could collapse on the ground. She played
an offensive game this time. I was only chased by boys, but never by a girl.
"I don't understand."
"It's not too difficult to understand. Or should I kiss you?
"Oh?"
The smallest girl said jokingly and stood on tiptoe, so her lips were right on
mine.
"You have to understand that I'm crazy about you."
"Do you know what you're saying? I told you before that I was not a
lesbian."
"Let's see how far you can go."
She smiled mockingly.
"When you're ready, I'll be here."
The girl pulled my neck with both hands and put her lips next to my ear.
"See how far you can go. I'll make you admit how much you love me
