Afterwards I told Tod that I would stay in a hotel downtown. The handsome
boy ran towards me with a happy face. The last time we met, I insisted that
I would not return to Bangkok. 5 days after that, I booked a plane ticket like
a loser.
"You can't stand that... the perfect Genlong."
"Can you stop looking at me like that? Don't you think I'm embarrassed
enough?"
I crossed my arms and looked away. I didn't want to look him in the eyes.
The handsome boy who was now sipping his coffee waved his hands in an
apologetic gesture.
"I'm sorry. I can't help it when I saw you lose. How long are you going to
stay here?"
"Well..."
I paused with embarrassment.
"Until she gets married."
"You're really here for the wedding."
Their wedding was scheduled for the 15th of next month. I had about a
month to be in Thailand. It could be because I wanted to stay in Thailand. I
wanted to see how she was doing.
"I want to see. I want to know how she is. But I'm not sure if she'll be okay
to see me. Come to think of it, I can't be that important to her now. She is
about to get married. So... I came here. Atleast to congratulate her. If I came
with the intention of congratulating her, she can't be upset about that,
I talked in circles more to myself than to Tod. It sounded like an excuse, I
guess. Tod nodded understandably.
"Aoey will be surprised to know that you are here for her wedding."
"Here is my excuse, the issue of violating her copyright. Something to talk
to her about."
I shifted uncomfortably.
"Can you help me make an appointment with her...?"
"Yeah."
He agreed before I even finished my sentence.
"Aoey will have a fan meeting at a bookstore in Siam square. I will give
you an appointment that day."
"Are you going to tell her it was me?"
"No."
"I also think it's the best."
I smiled nervously.
"She might not want to see me if she knew it was me."
"Get ready for that then."
Besides being a bad experience that scared me, Aoey was another reason
that could scare me..The period of 3 days before the meeting with Aoey, I
was not quite myself. There was some hesitation as to whether I should
meet the eye candy, or should I just book a return ticket to Macau. But I
really wanted to see it... I wanted to know how she was in the last 3 years. I
could guess that her soft eyes wouldn't chat with me like a long.lost friend. I
was curious about how beautiful she was now. We were both older. I
wondered what she looked like now. Even I was different...
I used to be Miss Perfect, everything had to be brand name, expensive stuff,
but now I've switched to something affordable for my income. I used to
wear expensive clothes, they could cost up to 2000 USD. Now I was only
wearing a $10 t-shirt. The most I spent lately was $25 if it cost up to 2000
USD. Now he was only wearing a $10 t-shirt. The most I spent lately was
$25 if it was really worth it. My past experience taught me that no matter
how expensive your clothes were, it didn't tell your value at all. The value
was in you. What a deeply meaningful life... After three days, the day has
arrived when Aoey will meet her fans at a downtown bookstore. Tod had to
pick me up because I was no longer familiar with the address after 3 years
away from Thailand.
"Here the taxis are the same. They make excuses not to take you. I picked
you up."
That was his explanation for taking me there. He skipped jobs and studies
because of it. But I guess I thought the cute guy wanted to see what our
reaction would be after not seeing each other for a long time.
"What do you hope to see between Aoey and me?"
"I want to see the cats fight."
That was the typical foul-mouthed boy I dealt with for a long time.
"I have to be there anyway. I am the owner of the publishing house she is at.
I am here to represent Aoey regarding the violation of their copyright."
"What a great excuse! I thought I had to talk to the lawyers."
"To be honest, I have no idea who will win between you and Aoey if you
really have to fight. Nobody copied anything. It's just the same story from a
different point of view."
"I told you I'll remove that."
"You're losing then."
I hated the word lose. Tod knew very well that I hated this word. He tried to
push me to fight.
"Fuck it!"
"Once in a while, you'll be rude, but it's cool and I like it."
We both chatted until we arrived at the event. She wasn't a celebrity, but
having your readers line up for you was something. Aoey wasn't here. Tod
said he was looking for a place to park.
"Is she driving now?"
I was worried that I was thinking about how she could reach the accelerator.
"Does she have a driver's license?"
"Why would you need one if you have a driver?"
I looked at Tod with bewilderment, but remained silent waiting for a
response.
"Her boyfriend?"
"Yes, you'll see it today,"
He said without looking at me. She seemed to be amused by the situation.
"I want to see the reactions of both of you when you meet."
"You really have fun."
-I couldn't miss this."
"Aoey is coming. I should step aside. I can meet her when we talk about
copyright."
"Are you afraid?"
I paused and turned to look at him. It bothered me to hear that, but I
couldn't deny that I was very nervous about seeing her again even though I
knew all of Tod's moves from her in recent years. I had no idea how she
would react if she saw me.
"I will leave."
I lost... I couldn't be there because I was too scared. She was a little girl
who couldn't really do me any physical harm. The best she could do was
scold and hit me. But I was too scared. I felt like I couldn't pay the debts I
borrowed from her and I couldn't look her in the eyes. Oh! What an impact
she had on me! I stepped aside, but still tried to catch a glimpse of her
arrival. Ten minutes later, the little woman I never forget approached her
fans. She gave an interview on a small stage prepared for the event. Her
sweet face in a long white high-necked shirt with long hair of hers made her
look elegant. She seemed surprisingly mature. Her shiny skin and her red
lips reminded me of the past when she hugged me and called me.
«My Gene»
My heart was beating so fast I was worried it might burst out of my chest.
My tears welled up in my eyes, I was full of love and longing. I long for
her. 3 years had passed. I wanted to run to hug and say hello, but I couldn't.
"This doesn't seem to be hidden."
Her voice haunted me at all times and in all places and made me quickly
wipe my tears away. I hid in a corner where no one could see me, but not
this guy.
"I'm scared."
"You're hiding here because you don't want her to see you. But eventually
you two will meet today."
"I'll let her work in peace. She may get upset later when she sees me."
"You always worry about her."
"This is what great people do. What time will she finish here? I'll go for a
walk for now."
"It could be an hour or a little more than that. You have to give your
signature. I already told Ten to meet me at an underground restaurant."
"Her?"
"Her boyfriend."
I don't know why, but when I heard that, I felt a pain in my chest like a
sharp knife that pierced my heart even though they are about to get married.
He told me frankly about how I felt.
"You still have feelings for her."
"No, I do not do it."
"Your face doesn't match the lie you just told."
"How can you accuse a girl of lying?"
I left that area because I had finished talking to him."
"Let's go from here. I don't want her to see me. I need to be prepared."
I couldn't accept that... but it seemed like I still had feelings for her that
were about to explode. I needed to truly understand that she now belonged
to someone else. I had no right! Finally, I couldn't run anymore, at that time,
I was standing in front of a restaurant where Tod made a date with Aoey. To
be honest, copyright was not an important issue at all. She justnwanted to
see her but...
"Tell her I'll download the novel. Leave."
I turned around, but the handsome boy used his arm to block my neck from
behind. He laughed when he saw my reaction.
"Too late now. You can't run away like that. Genlong is not a person who
runs away."
"My name is Kate, I live in Macau. Bye bye!"
"You will enter with me."
"Tod!"
He pushed me into the store. I couldn't run anymore. I paused, straightened
my back, fixed my posture, and walked into the restaurant. I arrived at the
table where Aoey was sitting playing with her phone. She still hadn't seen
me. A man sitting next to her stands up to greet us first.
"Hello, Todd. She must be..."
There was a pause from him, who greeted me and looked at me in the eyes.
It didn't surprise me because it was a common reaction of more than 90% of
men who saw me for the first time.
"I'm Genlong, the artist who will discuss copyright."
As soon as I introduced myself, Aoey immediately looked up with complete
surprise on her face. Her sweet old light brown eyes looked surprised. She
dropped her phone on the table.
"Hello Aoey."
I had to use all the courage I had to greet her and tried to cover all the
stories we had.
"Gen. Can you remember me?"
There was silence between all of us as if time had stopped at that moment.
We both looked into each other's eyes for a long time until Aoey finally did
something that no one expected before..She grabbed a glass of water and
threw it in my face as if she had slapped me. The cold water hit my face and
parts of my clothes. We were now the center of attention in the store. Tod
grabbed me to hide behind him and scolded the girl.
"Why did you do that?"
"You said this is the person who copied my novel, right?"
She asked but she got no response from Tod.
"It is appropriate for the writer to be angry with the imitator."
"But this is too much. It's Genlong. It's Genlong!"
Tod seemed to be angrier than me. I took off Tod's shirt and it was now
between Aoey and me. I smiled understandably at him.
"It's okay, Todd. She has a right to be angry. I made a mistake."
"Yes, you did it!"
Aoey said with an angry tone.
"I just splashed water but compared to what you did it's nothing. I tries to
take a pair of handcuffs off my wrist and run after a car like a dog chasing
its owner. You will learn that pain has no comparison."
It wasn't copyright we were fighting about. It was about the past that only
the two of us knew. The smaller girl grabbed her bag and was about to leave
the restaurant. But she turned around and spoke to Tod angrily.
"As for my copyright, I will sue you to death. I will have nothing left.
Remember my word!"
She walked out of the store, left me and Tod stood there confused. I was
prepared for this encounter to not end well but I did not expect the splash of
water..
"Looks like I pushed too hard for fun.."
"I made a mistake."
"About coming here?"
The handsome boy said and seemed so worried about me. I shook my head
and tried to dry myself with a tissue.
"About not wearing a raincoat. I would do the same as her. A little
revenge."
I laughed and left the restaurant because I wanted to avoid being the center
of attention. Tod followed right behind me. He was worried about me.
"If you're angry, let it out. Don't try to smile. I feel uncomfortable."
"I'm not mad."
"Why not? Anyone would get angry."
I paused and looked at Tod. I repeated the same sentence that Aoey said.
"If I have to compare between the splash of water and being handcuffed and
running after a car like a dog chasing its owner... No, I'm not angry. I really
hurt her a lot. She has the right to be angry. I would be too if it were me."
"I knew that Genlong was not a weak and forgiving person."
"But I forgive her."
"She is my first love."
Finally, the handsome boy felt sorry for me and hugged me tightly. Tod was
there that day and he helped me stay in the car.
"Now you are the sad one."
"I can be sad. I have been sad for a long time."
I knew that day would not be easy. I had to learn my lesson after I hurt her
over and over again. Once I got back to the hotel, I took a long shower to
stay calm. A bath helped improve my mood after having to deal with so
many bad things. The water will wash away my sadness. While I was in the
bathtub, the hotel phone rang. I reached for it when I didn't have much
energy left. The voice at the end was from the receptionist who told me that
she had a visitor.
"Her name is Aoey. Do you want to see it?"
I jumped out of the tub excitedly before agreeing to leave her there.
"Yes of course. Send it up."
"We will send it to your room."
Why was she here? I quickly got dressed before she got to my room. My
doorbell rang less than 5 minutes later. I, who was hoping to see her,
opened the door to greet her.
"Hello, Aoey. Why are you here?"
"Can I enter?"
Her harsh tone surprised me. I felt like she had gone there with a tornado
that was ready to explode at any moment.
"What's happening?"
I said awkwardly. Aoey quickly turned around to look at me like it was a
stupid question. Or I thought anything I said now would make her angry
anyway.
"Can't I be here even if nothing happens? You violated my copyright."
"I only ask. You can come at any time."
"Why are you here?"
It was a simple question, but for me it had so many layers of complexity.
Why are you back here? What do you want? What is your plan?
"I'm here to discuss copyright. You thought I copied you and you wanted to
talk to the artist. That's why I'm here."
I didn't get straight to the point anyway. Aoey walked to the bed and sat
down angrily.
"If you know you made a mistake, you would easily end the dispute by
removing the cartoon. That's what you would do. I know."
The soft eyes looked at me as if demanding an answer.
"You have another reason. Why are you here?"
"What kind of response do you expect to hear?"
"The truth."
"I miss you."
We both remained silent. There was surprise in those beautiful eyes. I
smiled at the corner of my mouth but quickly hid it. I told myself I shouldn't
do that. She was about to get married. I shouldn't make her doubt about her
wedding. Not even a little.
"Is that what you want to hear from me?"
Aoey frowned at my question.
"You miss me?"
"No,"
I shrugged.
"I think about you, but I don't really miss you. It was a long time ago."
It seemed to reopen the wound. Aoey stood up angrily like what she did in
the restaurant.
"So you're really just here for the copyright. If this hadn't happened, you'd
never want to see me again... right? The letter you left me was true. You
hated me for that phase of your life."
"There were so many reasons why I couldn't return to Thailand. But now
it's okay. I have a new passport with a new name. I have a new identity.
Now I can travel in and out of the country easily. But there is something
more important than copyright."
"What's that?"
"You're getting married."
The sweet eyes looked at me in astonishment. I thought she wasn't very
happy that I knew about this.
"How do you know?"
"Tod told me,"
I said and thought about his fiancé.
"Your boyfriend is cute. He looked hygienic. He looked right for you. You
will have a happy married life."
"I pressed on copyright but not on this."
She said as if complaining to herself. I looked at her with a big question.
"What do you mean?"
The smaller girl walked away nervously when I looked at her.
"Nothing."
"Does that mean you knew from the beginning that I drew that cartoon?"
I walked towards her. Now she was cornered. The little girl backed up until
she hit her back on the bed and sat on it. She had run out of excuses.
"Did you ask Tod to talk to me about copyright, just so you could see me?"
"Yeah."
I closed my eyes. I lost to this girl again. In the last 3 years, I tried to let her
go by not contacting her. But now I was deceived into this.
"So you acted like you were surprised to see me at the restaurant. Was that
an act?"
"I knew you could be the artist. And it really turned out that if it was
you...."
"Why would you want me to come back here if it makes you so angry."
"I want you to see that I have money now."
The sweet eyes looked at me aggressively.
"In the letter you told me that you couldn't live with me because I don't
have money. But I already have Item."
Now I was one step behind. I cited the very bad letter I wrote and barely
remembered the details.
"I had nothing, so you couldn't live with me. I have everything today, fame,
money, but the person next to me is not you."
The girl smiled.
"The good thing about being poor is that I can filter the people who stay in
my life. I wanted you to see that I met a better person and I can do it."
It must have been so painful that it led her to the option of revenge. I looked
at Aoey with pity. I wanted to give her a hug. My eyes must have revealed
so much that I bothered her.
"Why are you looking at me like that, ah!?"
"I'm proud of you."
I reached out to touch her cheek gently in admiration, but she ignored it.
"I don't need your support."
"I am proud that you have become an intelligent, successful and famous
person."
"Don't look at me with pity as if we were on friendly terms. I don't need
your support or anything."
The sweet eyes walked towards the door and turned around angrily.
"I hate you, Gen. Keep that in mind."
"Yes I know."
The door closes suddenly. I stayed in the room full of sadness. See... it was
the right decision to get out of her life then. When I left, she got a better
life..I had made the right decision
