Overnight, Tod traveled to me on a plane and then in a car to the city. I was
surprised to see him the next morning after I called him at night. I turned on
my phone but muted the call, so he could contact me. Our date location was
Rak's coffee shop with 2 dogs with a strange name; Sorapong and Tanatsee.
I wanted to play with them but I had something more important to do.....
"I have 100,000 baht for you."
My heart skipped a beat when I saw piles of money that Tod was carrying
with him. It wasn't much money in my previous life, but now 2000 baht is
very valuable. I never thought it would give me so much.
"I know you're rich, but I never thought you'd be so generous to me. You
know I'm broke, right?"
"This is not my money. This is your mom's."
"What?!"
"I talked to your mom after talking to you. She gave me this money."
"I don't just have a bad mouth. I'm also a loose cannon,"
I said. I was angry at myself for telling him where I was. The handsome boy
looked at me shaking his head.
"Your mom is so worried about you."
"You shouldn't have told my mom. I don't want it to be a big problem."
"Running away is big enough. Your mom is so worried about you. She was
worried that your dad's enemy might hurt you. I believed that someone
could do something to you."
"No one will. This town is so remote. There isn't even a ghost in this
town.."
"Stop being so stupid. I'm serious... you can't live here. Now you realize
that the outside world is harsh. No matter how tough you are, you were
under your father's protection, but now you're just a fool without him."
Damn! Could I slap him with a shoe? I knew I was that direct, but he could
be nicer to me. I was already sad enough without her criticism.
"Stop convincing me. I am not going anywhere. I'll be here with Aoey.."
"Are you too naive? Do you really think the two of you will be together
until death?"
"Ahem!"
We might be talking too loud. Rak, she warned us, coughing. It was the
topic we talked about before. She believed that if we loved each other, then
we should be together. Maybe she didn't like what Tod said.
"Yes, I can live here. Now I have money."
"What would you do when you ran out of money? Are you going to keep
calling me for money?"
The handsome man declared the fact.
"And your future too? Are you going to stop studying? Give up your trip
abroad, no more shopping, movies."
"I can do all that with Aoey here."
"Will she stop going to school too?"
I paused... and looked at the one who knew my weak spot.
"Do we... Do we have to study?"
"You wonder about that too. She can't go to school because she has to be
with you. What did she do to deserve this?"
"Aoey needs friends. She needs a social life, applying for jobs and all that.
Why does she deserve to live like this? Tell me, how do you live now? You
have no money. Let me guess... Aoey is supporting you."
I started to feel ashamed. I couldn't stand hearing all this from other people.
I felt bad even without criticism from him.
"Please stop. If you want to criticize me like that. I have to go."
"Your mom will send someone to pick you up."
I was surprised to hear that. I felt bad having to deal with this. Was he
trying to force me to run again?
"Why did you do this? You found me and you want to force me to run away
again?"
"I'm trying to rationalize with you. Your mom wants you to go to Macau
together. At least go to school there and wait until the situation improves.
You can return at any time."
"I don't want to go."
"Are you going to live like this? Think about it. If you're here, Aoey can't
go to school. She has to work hard, with no future. And you'll be here until
you're 80 and you call me when you run out of money."
"Money doesn't fill the stomach. Love also needs money. At least you have
to know how to make money."
I trembled. I felt horrible for agreeing with everything he said. But he didn't
want to give in. I walked away from the store and took the money with me.
I could live there. I had money now. I would use that money to publish
Aoey's book. We would have more money to live on. Yes, I could do it.
Love doesn't need that much money. Aoey came home completely
exhausted but still went to the kitchen to cook for me. I approached her and
pulled her arm out of her. I pointed to the table where the food cover was on
the table.
"You don't have to cook today. Today I have food for you."
"Oh?"
Aoey seemed surprised. I brought her to the table where there were 3 or 4
plates of food on the table.
"I bought so much food for you today."
"So much food. Where did the money come from?"
I paused because I forgot to think of that excuse. But since I was smart and
beautiful, I thought of something.
"I saved 40 baht every day from what you gave me for two weeks. I
realized how good I am at saving."
"You're very nice."
Aoey hugged me.
"But you don't need to save it. You can spend the money..The money I give
you is for you to spend, not to save."
She said that without thinking about herself. I felt shocked and guilty at the
same time. The tears wanted to come out but I had to hold back and smiled.
"I'll use it on you."
I sat her down to eat. I noticed how weak she was. She was so thin, her
hands were rough. She never showed how tired she was when she was at
home. And she still didn't tell me what kind of work she did.
"Aren't you thinking about studying?"
The soft eyes stopped and looked at me, while I pretended to eat and chat
casually.
"We don't need any certificate to live here."
"But it is better to have a certificate. You don't plan to sell things on the
market and earn 400 baht every day, right?"
"I will sell my book."
"You only have 15,000 baht left."
Aoey put down her utensils and looked at me. She was ready and asked
angrily.
"Did you check my things?"
"Yes, I wanted to know how much money you have. You don't have
money."
I sighed.
"I'll try to call Tod and ask him for money,"
I lied.
"No!"
Her sharp tone turned our conversation into a serious topic. However, I
prepared myself to be in this mode.
"I'm thinking I'm pulling you down now,"
I said painfully.
"I shouldn't have brought you here. You got into college, a good one. But
now you work hard to pay the rent, water and electricity bills. You have no
future here."
"I told you I'm happy like this. I wanted to be with you."
"What happens if we don't love eachother one day?"
"I will never stop loving you."
"Does eternal love really exist?"
I bit my lip because of the pain.
"Because you couldn't touch anyone. You thought it's love when you can
touch me."
Aoey slammed the table hard. Her anger made me reevaluate how I would
handle this.
"I always love you. I'm in love with you even before we met for the second
time. Being touched or not, it didn't matter. I love you, Gen and only you!"
The sweet-eyed girl put her arms on the table.
"Why are we fighting? I worked hard to get back to this. You don't even hug
me, you support me. Why not...?"
I got up and walked towards her. I hugged her from behind. She resisted but
relented when I kissed her head. She turned around and hugged me, burying
her face in my chest.
"Don't act like you're not happy with me. I can not stand it. I'd rather not
have an education than live without you."
"Oh, Aoey."
"I'm afraid. I love you so much, Gen."
I loved her so much that I couldn't take her future away from her. Although
what Rak told me echoed in my head all the time. "Don't think for her." But
seeing her hands, her scars, her thin body, her life without a future... Now I
realized many things. Three days later I called Tod to give him my answer.
"I'm out of here. Please tell my mom."
I met up with Tod again in the cafeteria. He was still in town because he
knew I would contact him back. The handsome man nodded and sighed.
"I know you're making a good decision. It must be hard. But I knew you
were doing this for Aeoy, right?"
I tried to hold back my tears.
"Tod.... if I have to go. Can you take care of her? Just update me on how
she is. She will be heartbroken if I am not with her. I'm worried about her."
My voice shook even when I tried to control it. She had no one but me. But
I still decided to leave. It would be better if I wasn't there.
"Yes, I'll keep an eye on her. I will support her."
"One thing you have to know... she is sick. I want a doctor to check her. I'll
tell you everything later."
"Yes. I will do that."
"The money, the 100,000 baht I borrowed. It's 99,500 baht now because
yesterday I spent 500 baht on food. However, that's my mom's money, not
mine."
"However, I'll leave them to you... I wanted to keep this money for Aoey's
book. Please help her."
"Ummm."
"If I'm not here... don't talk bad about me."
I screamed out loud.
"If she loves me, she will be so heartbroken without me."
I cried in the cafeteria. Everyone looked at me surprised. Tod didn't say
anything because nothing would help now.
"I will do everything you ask of me but only one thing...."
"You have to leave her for your own good
