7 out of 10... I was a little out of it all day. Aoey and I went shopping. The
soft eyes grabbed this and that in the basket and turned to me to make a
comment.
"Do you like this brand?"
"Whatever."
My brain wasn't here. All I thought about was the score, I had almost gone
crazy. I barely made eye contact with Aoey. She didn't feel like the best to
me. My confidence was not as high as before, just because of one problem.
"Why are you so quiet today?"
The soft eyes joined me and smiled.
"Are you thinking about the score?"
I took a step back with lack of confidence, but she grabbed my arm tightly
and didn't let go.
"You don't even look at me.."
"I didn't make you happy."
"When did I say I wasn't happy?"
"I got 7 out of 10,"
I said with little confidence. Aoey smiled sweetly.
"You have to learn to accept the truth. You just have to keep practicing it.
There is no runner who can win a marathon without practice."
"We are not running a marathon. We're talking about..."
I paused and realized that we were in the supermarket. It was not the right
place for this topic.
"I had studied for that. I don't need to practice. But I still got a 7."
"Is punctuation that important to you?"
"Is important for me. It's my happiness."
I bit my lip and sighed.
"It made me realize now that I'm not the best at everything. It made me
realize that I'm not good at this."
"You can compensate me with something else then."
"Can this be compensated?"
I said with low self-esteem.
"How can I do that?"
"Don't know. How about you give me a smile now?"
"But...."
"You are happiness. If you are happy, I am happy."
I looked at her impressed. I knew she cared about me, but I didn't realize
she cared about me that much. I Looked into her eyes and smiled
awkwardly.
"Whatever you want me to do, just tell me."
The soft eyes looked at me shrewdly and tiptoed to my ear, where I knew it
was my most sensitive part.
"Tonight...I have a dessert to serve you, straight to your mouth.."
I squinted my eyes thinking about what she wanted to say.
"Ok, let's see how tasty that is?"
"Are you capable of finishing me? I am very delicious."
I challenged her with my eyes. I couldn't resist the seduction. I leaned
towards her until our lips touched, even though we were in the middle of a
supermarket.
"I will chew you... there will be nothing left in my mouth."
Aoey smiled at the corner of her mouth. Her light brown eyes looked
directly at me and said mockingly.
"Let's see how much score you can make tonight."
So embarrassing...I got 7 out of 10...again. Now I was obsessed with it. I
couldn't talk to anyone but Aoey. I had to talk to the girl who gave me the
grade. Wasn't that awkward? The sweet eyes supported me a lot. But now I
have lost my confidence. Aoey had to make all the decisions about
everything. Now I look like a loser... Great visited us that day. My brother
always arrived with a smile. I noticed Aoey's awkward reaction, but she
tried to hide it as much as she could.
"Can your bird say something now? Did you teach him something?"
"No, I do not have time."
"Why are you so busy?"
I quickly looked at Aoey, who was now pouring water into a glass for the
visitor. I saw a smile at the corner of her mouth.
"I'm working on my exam."
I checked my score every night. I never got anything higher than a 7. That
was crazy!!!
"What is your exam?"
"The exam after class. Don't you ever have to take a test? Enough
questions. Why are you here anyway?"
"I miss Aoey and you. Because? Am I not allowed to be here?"
Great turned to Aoey and smiled.
"Do you miss me, Aoey?"
"Um,"
The short answer left room for interpretation. I felt bad for my brother. He
called Aoey many nights to chat, but Aoey always ended the conversation
within 2 minutes and hung up the line. Why were they going out anyway?
Aoey didn't spend time chatting with Great when he was there. Instead, she
did her homework all the time. She always did that when he visited her. I
felt sad for my brother. When Aoey entered the kitchen, she quickly asked
him a question.
"Are you coming off like a second grader? Does not go anywhere. You
seemed so stiff when you talked to her. This is not you at all."
"And you think I feel good about this? Aoey never gave me a chance. I do
not know why. We only had lunch together at university. We never went out
on a date, watched a movie, listened to music, never anything."
"I think you should separate from her."
I said frankly, but not for myself. It was so he would understand.
"I do not love her. She chose me. She must have feelings for me. I have to
do something."
"What's that?"
"I want to take her to the beach."
I understood it immediately. I looked at him as if my eyes were knives that
could cut him into pieces.
"You know she won't let you touch her."
"There must be some way that works. What about alcohol? When a woman
drinks, it becomes easier."
"Bastard!"
Aoey, who had just left the kitchen, saw my face and wondered what was
going on.
"What happened? What are you two talking about? You look so serious."
"I said I want to take you to the beach."
Great said immediately as I was thinking of a way to stop the plan. I
couldn't let my brother do something so horrible. Don't do anything so
horrible to Aoey.
"Oh really? It would be so romantic to go with Gen."
The soft eyes completely forgot that Great was sitting right there. When she
mentioned romantic she didn't really include my brother.
"Do you want to go, Aoey? My family has a house on the beach."
Great continued as Aoey looked at me and smiled seductively. Aoey forgot
to cover those seductive eyes of Great.
"If Gen goes, I'll go too."
"Don't know. Let me think about it."
I cut off the conversation. Great didn't sound very happy. I might also be
upset with Aoey because she wanted to take me with her everywhere. After
we all stayed silent for a moment, Aoey changed the subject and asked me
for help.
"I will vacuum. Can you fill the bottles with water please?"
"OK."
"That is sweet."
Aoey continued with things while I walked to the refrigerator and did the
job she asked me to do without complaint. Great look between Aoey and
me back and forth. She quickly got up and followed me like a duckling.
"What happened? Do you do homework now?"
"We help us. Because?"
"You are not a good person. You are a dictator who tells people what to do.
What made you do what Aoey ask you to do? This is great."
"Oh?"
I never realized I got too invested in eye candy. If Great hadn't mentioned it,
I wouldn't have remembered my past self. What made me get up and fill the
water bottles?...
"That's true. Since when did I become a good person?"
Once I realized what happened, I put down all the bottles and went back to
watching TV. Aoey, who was now vacuuming, looked at me and asked in
surprise.
"That was fast."
"I don't think it's my job. Why do that?"
"Because I ask you to."
"Why would I do what you ask of me?"
"Because you said you would do whatever I asked because you don't
perform well."
I got up immediately and walked to the refrigerator, filling the bottles.
Great, saw what happened but didn't understand anything? My brother
walked towards Aoey and asked in confusion.
"What did you do that's not so good?"
"Bad score,"
The sweet eyes said without an explanation, which made Great feel even
more confused.
"What score?"
"A test."
"Did your score go down? You?"
Great looked at me in disbelief. All the conversations made me blush.
Damn! Couldn't stop asking? It was my black hole in life.
"We all have ups and downs. Can you stop asking?"
"You're never wrong about anything, except when you were drunk and
kissing other people.."
Aoey turned off the vacuum cleaner immediately and paid attention to the
story. I looked at Great with hatred. Why the hell did he dig up this shit?
"Kiss other people?"
"Yes, this little miss was perfect when she was drunk, she was a crazy girl.
She wasn't herself at all. Mom loves to tease her more. She will trick Gen
into drinking if she wants to see something funny.
"This must be the reason why you're not going to drink."
It was awkward listening to Aoey talk about it. She continued to press Great
for more information.
"Why did she drink then, if she knew she couldn't control it?"
"She's so weak when it comes to drinking. All of us in the family knew it.
Alcohol is not always amber in color. Sometimes it has no color. Mom
changed her glass with Vodka once. She was so drunk then."
"Be quiet! Don't you have something else to talk about?"
I filled the bottles with water and turned around only to see Aoey smile at
the corner of her mouth. She seemed to enjoy finding out about my other
mistake.
"I would love to see it."
"I won't make that mistake again. You won't see it."
I realized that the sweet eyes were now so curious to see me drunk. But I
was too smart to be a fool again. I was fooled by my mother once, I would
not be fooled by this sneaky little sweet pea again.
"What about the beach?"
Great continued the same conversation. I shrugged and changed the subject.
"Don't know. Let me think about it. I need a bathroom."
I quickly got up and walked to the bathroom to avoid answering the
question. I just wanted to be left alone because I was upset with Great, who
so obviously showed that he really wanted to touch Aoey. I, who was his
sister and Aoey's secret lover, couldn't make any decisions. He sounded like
a bad person.... If I said yes to the beach, Aoey would be at risk with my
brother. If I said no to the beach, I felt very sorry for him "I said don't touch
me!"
A scream came from outside. I had to get up from the bathroom and ran out.
I saw Great standing stunned with a red hand marked on the side of his
face. His soft eyes stood there trembling.
"What happened?"
"Why can't I touch you?"
Great exploited.
"So why are we dating anyway?"
"Then leave it, leave it now,"
Aoey shouted back. Great, who was usually playful and cheerful, was filled
with pain.
"Damn!"
Great kicked my coffee table hard and left the condo without speaking to
me. Aoey stood there trembling. But when I walked towards her, she ran
into the bathroom and quickly rinsed herself off where Great touched her.
"What are you doing, Aoey?"
"I don't feel well."
Then she grabbed a bar of soap and rubbed it into her skin over and over
again. I had to stop her by grabbing her hands to make her stop and hug her.
She had some really bad scars.
"You are clean. Trust me, Aoey."
"I want to clean it one more time."
She still felt dirty. I had to confirm that she was clean by raising her clean,
soft arm to my face and kissing it. I rubbed my face on her arm.
"It's clean now. Trust me if you love me."
She seemed calmer once I did that. The soft eyes looked at me with tears in
their eyes. She hugged me and openly showed me her weakness.
"I love you. My Gen."
"You have to see a psychologist."
"I am not crazy. I'm fine."
She immediately refused.
"Seeing a psychologist doesn't mean you're crazy."
"You can cure me, Gen. I don't need a psychiatrist. You hugged me and
touched me."
He took my hand and put it on her face. She grabbed my other hand and
shoved it into her shirt.
"But Aoey..."
"Please help me."
I sighed deeply and comforted the gentle eyes..... I needed to take her to a
psychiatrist. She needed treatment. Aoey was now sleeping in the bed while
I researched the treatment. Tod called me while he was at the investigation.
He was a doctor with whom I felt confident and safe.
"How are you, Tod?"
I said in my normal voice but there was no response from the other end of
the line. I stopped working and paid more attention to the conversation.
"Can you hear me,Tod?"
"Gen... I want to die."
"What!? Is this a joke?"
I laughed, but there were no comments from my fake boyfriend.
"Sing abandoned me. She's seeing the other guy now."
"Oh, Todd."
"I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone but you. I want to die.."
"Where are you? I'll go see you."
"I'm in my condo."
"Send me your location. I'll go see you right now."
I dropped everything and got out of bed. His voice was so bad. But Aoey,
who I thought was sleeping, grabbed my arm and squeezed.
"I will not let you go."
"Are you awake? Let me go first. I have to go. Everyone needs me now."
"It's 11 pm now. Don't go now."
"And? It's only 11 at night."
"This is not the time to go meet a guy at his condo. I will not let you go."
"This is important. He really needs me now."
But my explanation made the gentle eyes even firmer. She seduced me
immediately.
"I need you now, Gen."
The soft eyes looked at me with deep determination.
"I am not important to you?"
I didn't have time to explain. I got up and got dressed. Although I didn't
know where to start. How could I explain the story of my fake boyfriend
who was dumped by the other guy and now wanted to commit suicide, in a
short period of time? This world was so full of shit.
"Gen."
"Yeah?"
She quickly put the handcuffs on one of my wrists...click.
"What are you doing?"
"You're mine."
"Aoey, this is not the time. Don't do this now,"
I said with my strong voice that usually worked for her.
"Do what I say."
The soft eyes quickly placed the other side of the cuffs on my other wrist.
Now I looked like a prisoner.
"Aoey, let me go now. This is a serious matter."
She raised my cuffed hand above her head. Now it seemed that I hugged the
small body tightly with my tied arms. It was such a strange and sexy
position at the same time. The smaller girl now wrapped both legs around
my waist making it harder for me to walk.
"Do not go."
"I'm angry now, Aoey."
Soft eyes kissed all over my face and moved gently towards my ears. She
knew where my weakness was.
"You can't stay mad at me for long, I know."
"Eat me now."
"Aoey, it's not the time."
I was hypnotized by the sweet brown eyes.
"Please... eat me."
I tried to be strong as the little girl playfully ran her little fingers from my
ears to my neck. She teased me with her soft lip around my chin to my neck
again. Ok...now I was shaking.
"Why are you doing this to me, Aoey?"
"On the bed or on the door?"
Finally I kissed her back. Both my legs walked back to the bed. I was
worried about both sides...here or there. I needed to fix that problem first.
Tod's problems seemed to be less now that my sexual instincts got the better
of me. Wait a little... Tod. Aoey seemed to have more problems than you. I
was worried about Tod but didn't know what to do about the current
situation. This wouldn't take long time. The pretty boy could wait. I lost to her again...