Everyone surrounded us now in silence and looked at Aoey and me
curiously. I never expresses anything to hER. I might have told her that I
loved her once or twice, but I never really explained to her how she felt. It
was always Aoey who expressed her feelings. If it weren't for her
persistence, I would still be rejecting the fact that I could like girls. No, I
didn't like girls. I like Aoey, and only Aoey. There was no one in this world
who could fulfill me. I looked for it all the time. But the first day I met her
and looked into her eyes, I knew she would be the one to walk in and rock
my world forever.
"I've always looked for the one and that's you, Aoey."
I took her hand and gently touched her on the back.
"At first, I couldn't accept the fact that I feel this way about you. How could
you? You are a woman and I am a woman. Nature created men and women
to be together. I couldn't think any other way."
"Gen...."
"I couldn't fool myself for a long time. In the end I lost against you. I have
loved you from the first time we saw each other until today... there is not a
day that I don't love you."
The little girl jumped and hugged me. We both rocked while hugging each
other. It was our expression when we made up after a fight when we lived
together as roommates.
"I never wanted to leave you, but I couldn't stand to see you work so hard...
you're a little girl. You couldn't work on a construction site to support me
and give up your studies. How could I live with that?"
"I can live with that. You shouldn't decide for me."
"What if I were the one working on the construction site and you were at
home? could you live with that?"
I let her go and wiped her tears with my thumb.
"It hurts to think about that, doesn't it? That's what I thought."
"You may think I'm cold because I never really expressed anything. But I
really love you. Every minute of every day, I think about you and what you
will be doing. When I think of you, it hurts me."
I grabbed my chest. My voice shook as if I had lost control.
"I always worried about how you were going to live without me, would you
be crying? Would you hate me?... If you hated me, it would be easier for
you to live. You don't have to long for me if you hate me. You can move on
with the hate. And grow with grace. Now you are famous and you can live
with other people. You're about to have a family."
"Gen!!"
Aoey shouted. Her face was full of tears. I couldn't help but cry with her.
"My mom said that there is no such thing as eternal love. In the end,
everyone will return to their original gender. It's a curse to love someone of
the same gender as you. If you meet someone nice, I'll be happy for you."
"Gen, tell the truth. Don't lie... you're not happy. Tell me you're not."
The little girl cupped my face with both hands and forced me to look into
her eyes.
"Be honest with me. Just tell me how you feel about this. Tell me!..Don't
think for me. Don't do anything you think is good for me. I want the truth
about how you feel. That's what I wanted to know."
I thought of a saying from a woman, the owner of the coffee shop, Rak.
What she said stuck in my head the whole time..
"Don't think for her."
It was my job to think about how she felt. You wouldn't be happy if my
parents told me that I would be happier married to the man who was richer
and better than the man you loved. But that was love... you chose it for
yourself. You won't be happy if someone else chooses for you. It was the
same here when I thought Aoey would be better off without me. She would
have a better future, although now she had a good future. But what if she
didn't turn out the way I expected? I could blame myself for leaving her
alone to deal with the whole problem. Ok... I'd be honest for once. It didn't
matter what happened. I had held on to my feelings for along time.
"I don't want to see you get married."
I finally spoke my mind. It was the most honest thing I had ever said. I felt
relieved. Other people might think I was a bitch, but screw them... I would
do this for myself.
"I don't want to see you get married. I want you just for me."
Aoey smiled at me. Her eyes were full of tears. Her face looked happier
than her when she was taking photos in her wedding dress with the wedding
guests.
"I always wanted to see you in the last 3 years. But I was afraid that you
would hate me if you saw me."
I laughed with tears.
"But I came back and found out that you hated me and sprayed water in my
face."
"Oh, Gen. Don't talk about that."
Aoey laughed when she thought about that.
"Now I feel guilty. I'm not sure if it's too late, but can you be with me?
Love needs money. I didn't know how to make money, but I know how to
make money now. I made a lot of money drawing cartoons. Every month I
make a lot of money and I also draw book covers."
"You are very smart."
"The important thing is that I drew the cover of your novel. But I didn't say
it. If you found out, you would go crazy and leave the publishing house."
She seemed so surprised to hear that. She cried even more now.
"You are behind all my success."
"I know how to make money now. I have my own publishing house. I'm a
business owner now, so even though I don't have my parents, I can support
you now."
We both stayed silent for a while. Finally, I decided to tell her something
that I always wanted to say and that made her happy.
"Do not get married, runs away with me. If we raise enough money, I'll give
you a wedding, however you want it."
She wasted no time, but nodded quickly. She cried and laughed at the same
time.
"I will go. I'll go wherever you take me."
"Get up if you want to go."
Tod, who remained silent for a long time, helped Aoey and me get up.
"I prepared a car for you."
"What?"
Tod looked at me and shrugged. It seemed like he had fun with all the
dramas.
"I am careful."
"Did you plan all this?"
"I will give it back to you. Let's go."
Tod took my hand and Aoey's hand on either side and kicked us both out of
the hotel. Aoey ran with difficulty carrying her wedding dress. But we
forgot that there was a groom at that event. He ran and blocked us all in
front.
"Are you going to take it, just like that? She's my girlfriend."
Ten looked at Aoey angrily. Aoey didn't seem to care about him anymore.
She hid behind me and yelled at him.
"Let me go, Ten. We don't like each other very much. We won't make it
anyway... I like women. Please understand."
"I don't want to."
Ten looked at me questioningly. We both stared at each other for about a
full minute. The groom finally sighed.
"I guess there's no way I can stop you."
"Can you please let us go... you must understand me. We were both looking
for someone who would satisfy us. I found someone and someday you will
too. If you find the right one when you are already married it will be too
late,"
"Aoey could be the right one for me. Who knows. We will love each other
once we are together."
"I'm kidding,"
Ten didn't seem to care at this point the wedding was actually for family.
"I envy you that you have found the right person for you. You must feel
great."
"Someday you will know."
The groom walked towards Aoey and put his hand on her head.
"I realize now why you kissed me that day. You wanted Gen to see that. You
never let me touch you from day one."
Aoey looked like she didn't want to be around Ten. She still had that sick
feeling from being around other people. She wasn't as bad as she was 3
years ago. The little girl let Tod hold her hand despite the uncomfortable
expression on her face "I'm sorry Ten. I do not deserve you."
"If you go with her, you'll be happy, right?"
"I will be happy every day if I am with her."
"There's no good reason for me to stop you then. The wedding is so that I
can be with you, so that you don't feel alone."
Ten looked at me and sighed.
"Why did two beautiful women end up together? What will a man like me
do?"
"Get another man,"
Tod joked. Ten laughed when he heard that.
"I'm looking for love but not with another man. This is not a lesbian novel."
"This is a lesbian world."
"Go! I won't stop you."
Ten stepped aside and called me.
"Gen."
"Oh."
"Stay in contact. Let me know how life goes."
I smiled at the nice, generous but lonely boyfriend.
"Read our cartoon. That's the story of Aoey and me."
I laughed.
"Always in sales mode."
Finally we left the hotel. Tod ran to look for the car while Aoey and I held
onto it tightly as if one of us might disappear. There seemed to be countless
problems we had to deal with. My brother ran towards us and blocked us in
front.
"Where are you going? I will not let you go."
"Bastard. You ruined their wedding and now you're here."
"I came here to stop the wedding, but not to give you and Aoey a chance to
be together."
My brother was upset because the result was not what he wanted. Why was
he so stubborn?
"Tod used you."
"What do you mean?"
"Tod told you everything between Aoey and me, right?"
"Yeah."
"Tod asked you to ruin the wedding, to tell Aoey everything, right?"
"Yeah."
"This is the result Tod wanted. Now that you understand, go."
"I don't understand. Why would Todd do that? Tod told me all about how
much they hurt you and now you say you still love her and want to run
away with her. How stupid you are to give up John, the casino owner, to be
with this little girl."
"The short girl you're talking about is your ex-girlfriend."
"You stole it from me. Stupid!"
"Are you calling me stupid?"
I rushed to hit him on the head, but Aoey interfered. She stepped between
the two.
"Great... I'm sorry for treating you badly in the past. And I'm grateful that
you ruined my wedding today. You told me the truth about what Gen did for
me. You are the most sincere person I have ever met. You said what you
thought. You said when you loved, you also said it when you hated."
"Yes, and I hate you. You're the... oops!"
Aoey tiptoed over to Great to kiss him on the cheek and quickly walked
away because she hated having contact with men. He was stunned.
"I don't know what to do to pay you. When we were dating, I guess this is
what you wanted me to do. This is all I can give you... thank you for
everything."
I looked at him and wanted to kick him into the middle of the street and
looked at Aoey who just flirted right in front of me. Great still touched the
cheek that Aoey had just kissed, but now he looked at her more gently.
"You....you."
"Do you still hate me?"
Aeoy, who was behind me, asked shyly. Great was still upset but calmer.
"I hate you less now."
"You are very sincere."
The little girl laughed. Great stood there not knowing what to do while Tod
stopped the car.
"Goes up. I'll take them..."
"Where to?"
"It depends on you. Where do you want to go?"
Aoey and I didn't have any plans at all. We just knew we had to leave the
wedding. We finally got in the car and Great wanted to join in too.
"Where are you going?"
Tod shouted when he saw Great trying to enter.
"I'll go with them.."
"They are running away together. It is none of your business."
"Flee? Where to? Getting back together was a surprise, but where are you
going? Are you going back to Macau? What about Johnathan?"
"I don't think I will return to Macau."
"Where are you going?"
"To some place where we will never be found."
Great was shocked and held onto the car. Now Great seemed very worried
that he would never see me again.
"Are you kidding? What happens to your family, to me? Are you going to
leave me too?"
"I will be in touch."
"Really? You won't have any money if you run away. You will have to be a
farmer and you will end up begging."
"Silly! I know how to make money now."
"I do not want you to go."
My brother looked at me like he was about to cry. It made me sad to see
him feel bad.
"Don't make that face. I'm not going to die."
I laughed and hit him on the head.
"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have this moment. Thank you."
"I love you, Gen."
"I love you too."
"Let's go,"
Tod said and slowly drove the car away. I looked at Great until his tall body
was no longer seen. Aoey hugged me tightly and I hugged her back.
"Is this real? Now you're back with me, Gen."
"Yes, it feels like a dream."
We look at each other and bring our faces closer. We completely forgot that
Tod was driving. He coughed to warn us that he was still there. Luckily we
hadn't done anything yet.
"Did you plan this outcome?"
"No,"
Tod answered and sighed.
"I just wanted you and Aoey to talk about it before you got married. I think
you weren't happy, Gen and it's not fair that Aoey didn't know about this. If
Aoey found out the truth after getting married, she could divorce Ten and
become a widow."
The handsome man said and shrugged.
"If Aoey found out everything and decided to continue with the wedding, it
would be fair enough. At least she chose it. I was butting in but I wanted
everything to be clear and fair."
"And now we're running away together."
The handsome man looked at us from the mirror and smiled.
"It's a good story. Nothing is better than two lovers ending up together. I
also felt guilty 3 years ago for separating them. Today I gathered them
together to start again."
"One improved from strange symptoms. Another now knows how to make
money. Now you two can live your lives without any problems."
"I wanted you two to prove that two girls can be together forever."
I hugged Tod from the back seat and kissed him on the cheek. I felt grateful
for him. I couldn't believe he had such a good friend. I thanked my mom for
introducing me to this foul-mouthed man at the beginning. He was like my
older brother who played an important role in my life.. It gave me another
chance to fix my love...the love that was almost gone... Tod turned on the
light and pulled over to the side of the road. I looked at him with
confusion..
"What are you doing?"
"You drive. Gen. I'll call a taxi to take me home."
"Why don't you go with us?"
"You're running away. I have to go out."
"I still don't know where we're going."
"Well, think about it when you're driving. Think about where you can live
together, and don't tell me because I might tell your mom again."
Tod got out of the car and called a taxi. I got out of the car and looked at the
handsome boy with tears. I had no idea when we would meet again. Aoey
got out of the car and put on my shirt. The soft eyes called me back to the
car with a smile.
"Come on."
"Where we go?"
"I have a place for us. Let's start there."
"Ah?"
I looked at the sweet, questioning eyes but... I made a decision.
"Well, if it's okay with you, it's okay with me."
"Now we are really together, like in the old days. My Gen."
I smiled at her.
"Yes, like in the old days. My Aoey.
