I didn't know why, but Aoey and I were so distant at that time. We slept in
the same room but we didn't feel like we were together. But I guess part of
it was because of school. Both Aoey and I focused on studying and our new
social life.
A new social life...
That bothered me a little when I thought about what I talked about with
Great at noon. My brother told me about Aoey. He gossiped as if he were a
child whose toys were stolen by other people.
"She was now surrounded by friends her age and some older like insects
flying around a beautiful flower. She also had many friends. Now I was a
little jealous of her too. I thought that if you didn't help her with her
published novel, she wouldn't have enough money to study."
I didn't like having that thought. I was now free of assigned tasks or
projects, so I spent my free time drawing in my sketchbook. I was frustrated
because many of the drawings in my book were of her beautiful eyes. I
wanted to talk to her but I was too proud to start first. I was Genlong. I
never gave in for anyone, especially a girl who gave me lice.
"Do you have a lot to study?"
I hated myself for starting the conversation. She made me go against all my
rules in life, damn it!
"Yeah."
Her brief response bothered me a little. I gritted my teeth in response, but
Aoey didn't see that. I didn't talk about her much, so I had to keep talking to
her. I poked my head into her notebook and tried to read it.
"Why do you write the same things over and over again in each book?"
When Aoey saw that I read that, she took the book out of my hands. It
wasn't a very hostile action but she did raise her voice.
"So I can remember if I repeated them."
"No..."
That note was for other people. I sighed and looked at her.
"Are you taking notes for other people?"
She looked at me annoyed because I kept rummaging through her things.
"My friend didn't come today. I made a note for her."
"Is she paying your tuition?"
"I'm just helping her."
"It's good to help other people, but don't be stupid."
"I'm not a fool!!"
"Well, I don't like stupid people.."
That's how she became a friend, being used as a maid. I was curious about
what her life would be like in college, what kind of friends she hung out
with. I went out with Todd that day. He also took his boyfriend with us. I
didn't know how to react when my boyfriend introduced me to his other
boyfriend.
"This is my boyfriend. Singha."
A tall, handsome, dark-skinned boy who you would never say liked men.
He acknowledged my existence by nodding. I liked to judge people when I
saw them. I realized this guy was... the best. Ohhh, my Tod was the bottom!
Maybe I had to read the novel Boy Love on the Internet to see how they did
it.
"It must be convenient for you to go out since you have me as your cover."
"I have to, thank you."
Tod and I were closer now since we talked openly about his sexual
preference. His family was very strict. He said his dad hired someone to
follow him and see where he went. It was difficult for him to see his
boyfriend. Her dad was stricter than mine, who had a beautiful daughter.
"I have a question that I have wanted to ask for a long time. Can I ask you
something?"
I looked at the two men in front of me.
"What's that?"
"If Tod is a medical student, Singha must be an engineer."
I threw out a question and an answer at the same time. The handsome boy
shook his head.
"No, I study business."
"So it is not necessary for a doctor to date an engineer."
"Why engineer?"
Tod laughed when he saw me and seemed confused.
"Don't know. I saw it in books and on the Internet. BL novels are always a
story between a doctor and an engineer. I never saw anyone work as a
teacher, doctor, farmer, fisherman or bricklayer. It would be fun to imagine
a big, muscular guy covered in sweat at a construction site, flirting with a
woman saying, "I wanted to fuck you with this big, tight muscle."
"Oh...."
"Who would read that...? "
"Because engineers sound great."
"And the doctor has to be the passive one? Why are many doctors gay,
Tod?"
"I'm not gay. I only have a boyfriend."
That was so absurd. Three of us had dinner together and chatted openly.
Singha seemed to like it. She talked a lot with me. If she wasn't with Tod, I
would have thought he was flirting with me. After a while, my phone rang.
It was for my date with Nut, Aoey's senior at her university, who helped me
last time. I said goodbye to the two men and went out to see Nut where he
said he was waiting. The tall guy was now waiting and looked nervous. I
didn't like this type of person. He didn't know how people without trust
could continue with his life. Bored...
"Nut."
He turned around quickly when I called him..I was wearing the university
uniform because I had a class that morning. Nut was also in his uniform.
"You're here. Gen."
"Well, we have an appointment, I had to come..."
"I thought you could cancel it."
"No, I won't do that. I told you I'll pay you for your help..."
"What help?"
Said a sweet voice behind me. I closed my eyes when I realized who that
voice was. I hated surprises, but I had to act really surprised.
"Oh, what are you doing here?"
Aoey was also in the university uniform. She came with that handsome
older man who helped her. And she didn't wear her glasses.....
"I was nervous, so I asked Jade to come with me."
"And Aoey is here with Jade,"
I replied. Now they were so close to going anywhere together.
"So this is Gen, as beautiful as you said."
Jade smiled at me. I smiled back and tried my best to be nice to him, even
though I was very upset.
"Nice to meet you Jade."
I flirted with him with my eyes to test it, but it seemed like a breeze passed
through him. He focused just on her...it wasn't bad.. We all walked together
with Jade and Aoey walking in front. I walked with my arms around my
chest and whispered to Nut about the topic we discussed earlier.
"Aoey doesn't know that I was behind the hazing event, right? Did you tell
anyone about that?"
"No, I didn't tell anyone."
"That's good... these two are pretty close, huh?"
I asked a trick question. Nut was upset enough to not realize what was
wrong. He kept telling me the story.
"Jade was the one who helped Aoey then. She was a hero in her eyes. Aoey
is a sweet girl. Jade likes sweet girls."
"Really...?"
I said slowly and sadly.
"What about Aoey? She likes him?"
"Don't know. Today is the first date for both of us. If she didn't like him, he
wouldn't be here."
I saw Aoey give us a look. I looked directly at her to let her know that I
knew she was watching. She turned to Jade and spoke to her with great joy.
She wanted me to see that.. Did she think I would care? Arrrrgggg! I was
angry, but no one could tell. Nut and Jade wanted to invite the girls. I
actually told Nut that I wanted to pay, but that guys had to be cool in front
of girls. The movie we bought tickets for was a horror movie, chosen by
Aoey.
I didn't know what the eye candy was thinking, but they all agreed. There
was nothing else to see anyway. There were 4 seats in a row. The boys let us
girls sit next to each other in the middle and they sat at the end on both
sides so when we were side by side I whispered: "How is your date?"
"It's good."
"You chose a horror movie because you wanted to be scared and hug your
date, right?"
Aoey looked at me and said,
"How smart."
That short answer bothered me. Now she knew how to use a sarcastic tone
with me. But I shrugged and showed no emotion.
"Everybody knows.."
I wasn't the only one who knew how to speak sarcastically.. I stopped
paying attention to Aoey and looked directly at the screen. I had to say that
I wasn't a fan of movies like that. Even how well the makeup was done, in
my head I knew they were just acting. I could only imagine that people
acted as the director told them to. Each actor went home and lived their life
outside of the movie. They all had a life like us. There was nothing to fear
like in the movie. Paying money to see something like this was so useless to
me. Watching a movie was just a way to kill yourself sometimes.
But anyway, this movie was pretty good. The sound, the spooky scene, the
man hanging from the ceiling. Many people screamed in the cinema but I
just watched it without any emotion. From the corner of my eye, I saw
Aoey squeeze her eyes shut in fear. When the scene was about to reach its
climax, the soft eyes looked for someone to hold on to. She couldn't turn to
me because she had to act cold, but she couldn't turn to Jade either because
she didn't want to be touched I grabbed her hands, intertwined our fingers
and squeezed them tightly. Aoey was surprised and looked at me with two
big eyes. I didn't feel anything with the movie but I pretended to feel it
before it.
"Oh, I'm so scared."
Shit...when would this end? When Aoey saw that I showed my weakness,
she was kind. When the next ghost scene came, she moved her face closer
to me and covered her eyes. I had to pretend I was scared too just to
comfort her. This wasn't me at all.
"Here they are again... noooo."
Finally, the movie ended.. Aoey and I left the cinema holding hands. We
both forgot about the boys we had gone with. Jade
and Nut looked at us and smiled as if they were seeing something so
beautiful.
"Two beautiful girls hold hands. It's such a sweet thing to see,"
Nut said and that made Aoey realize what we were doing. She let go of her
hand and I wrapped my arms around my chest.
"You two must be so scared, but why did you choose a horror movie?"
Jade teased Aoey, who shrugged in response.
"A horror is supposed to be scary. It seems like someone is more scared
than me."
She talked about me. I pushed my hair back and sighed.
"Well, it was a ghost movie."
I looked at a watch on my wrist.
"Now it's late. I have to go home."
"Really?"
Nut looked so disappointed.
"Will we go out together again?"
"If I'm not dead, it's possible we'll meet again. I have to go now,"
I said and looked at Aoey, who stayed still. I realized she was at a protest.
She wouldn't come back to me.
"We're going home."
"I do not want to go."
I looked directly into her eyes, which were now staring back at me
defiantly.
"Do what I told you.."
"No."
"Don't be stubborn."
"I will do that."
Silence...
Now everyone was looking at us. Aoey closed her lips tightly.
"I won't love you if you're stubborn."
I wrapped my arms around myself and stormed out, I hoped the soft eyes
would follow me and she did. She followed me silently to the car. Even
when she listened to me, she was still
stubborn.
"Why did you bully me?"
The soft eyes looked at me sadly. I pursed my lip. Was she looking for a
fight again?
"I didn't try to intimidate you, but I just didn't like it when you're stubborn."
"Won't you let me do anything by myself? When I didn't do what you say,
you always say I'm stubborn."
"Why did you do what I told you then?"
"I don't know."
Aoey looked at me defiantly.
"I won't do what you say again."
"I won't love you then."
"Someone else will love me."
"That guy Jade?"
I smiled.
"He only looks handsome but not interesting at all. Why are you in a hurry
to have a boyfriend, anyway?"
"You told me to get a boyfriend! This way I won't have to seek your
attention."
I paused and realized I said that. So I was the one who pushed her to do
that.
"How are you going to date someone? They can't even touch you! And...
another thing, this world is so cruel. You don't have to rush to have a
boyfriend."
"Do you have a boyfriend? You had a date with Tod in the morning and a
movie at night with my superior. What a bitch!"
"What did you just say?"
I was surprised by what she said.
"Slut, tramp."
"You are insulting me?!"
"Better than nobody."
The soft eyes opened the car door and sat quietly. She didn't say anything
else. I jumped into the car and continued fighting.
"Why did you insult me?"
"Why did you do that?"
"I just don't understand that you have a boyfriend but you went on a date
with Nut."
"I can go out with whoever I want. I can have a few more men if I want. It's
my business, not yours."
"I'll do it too."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm jealous!"
The atmosphere in the car was now dead silent. I was surprised by what just
came out of my mouth. Aoey was equally surprised and she wasn't sure if
she heard correctly.
"What did you just say?"
"I said I was worried."
"No, you said you were jealous."
"No, I didn't do it."
"I'm nearsighted, not deaf."
"I feel dizzy."
I collapsed against the window, pretending to faint. Aoey shook my body in
disbelief but I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't know how to get out of that
situation. She still insisted even when I fainted.
Crazy that was crazy!!!!
