═ ࿇
"It's okay, Gen. We can live without money."
I was hugged by Aoey, who was now stunned by the fact that I had no
money. She tried to calm me down, she stroked my back. I sighed again and
again. I couldn't believe that I hadn't taken out the money like my mom
suggested.
"Even though we live in the countryside, we still need some cash Aoey. We
have to pay rent, water and electricity bills, and so on."
"I have some money left from my book. I will also get more jobs."
"I will also look for work."
"No, I won't let you."
The soft eyes said with a sharp tone.
"Because?"
"I told you. You do not have to work. I will keep you."
"You are crazy?"
I laughed at her.
"You spoil me too much. It's fine. There should be something I can do."
"I said you don't have to do anything. Just stay home. I want you to live
comfortably with me."
"But... "
"No, don't work."
Aoey said sharply and that ended our conversation. Luckily, the cost of
living there was low. The sweet eyes still had some money to pay the rent..
But the worst came later...
"Here is your assignment. 200 baht per day. Is this enough?"
I looked at the money in her hand feeling so uncomfortable. I felt very
uncomfortable because I wanted to grab that money to save the little ego I
had left. But I realized that Aoey didn't think like that. I could only wave
my hands.
"No, please keep it to yourself."
I never thought I'd have a day like this. A day when I had to take a small
allowance of money from people like her. I used to spend 5,000 baht a day
easily, but now I had to ask my
girlfriend for some money. I... couldn't stand it.
"Don't think too much, Gen."
"No, I couldn't. I won't accept it."
I gave him a sharp look back to insist that I wouldn't take any of her money.
When the girl realized that I was serious, she backed away.
"Lower your ego, Gen. It's necessary here. How are you going to live
without this money?"
"I can live without money."
"You still need money in the interior of the country."
"I'll look for a job,"
I insisted again.
"There must be something I can do here."
But there was nothing. No job that suits me. Aoey could do anything. She
made it look so easy. But why was it so difficult for me to look for a job? I
couldn't work at a gas station because of the smell of gasoline. I couldn't
work at a convenience store because I got into a fight with a manager who
licked his lip while he looked at me like he wanted to eat me. I stood
outside a fabric store but couldn't stand the pattern on the fabric. No job
suited me! I walked home sadly to find Aoey standing at the front door
waiting for me. She looked so worried and she ran to me immediately once
she saw me. She hit me right in the chest.
"Where were you?"
"I was looking for a job."
I couldn't look her in the eyes. I felt like a loser.
"Don't hit me again. I already feel bad enough. There is no work I can do."
"I told you not to work. Just stay home."
"How could I take advantage of you like that? I am Genlong, who is good at
everything,"
I said with low self-esteem.
"I always thought I was cool and smart. I can speak 3 languages, excellent
at piano, but I can't do anything here, not even at a gas station..."
I swallowed a big lump in my throat and covered my face. Aoey hugged me
to comfort me.
"These jobs are not made for you. I told you I will support you. Look, I'm
working on my new book project. Once I have the money, we'll be fine."
Aoey smiled at me and used both of her hands on my face, forcing me to
look at her.
"If you want to be useful, you can help me talk to my clients, help me pack,
help me with delivery."
"But you're not publishing anything now? Are you done writing?"
"Yes, almost."
"We need money until then anyway."
"I also worked at a job today. I earn 400 baht a day. We will be fine. Trust
me."
"But..."
"Stay home and take care of our house, my beautiful girl. When I'm tired
and need a massage..."
The little girl smiled slyly.
"Give me a sexy massage."
"Is that all I can do?"
"That's how I was before too. That's all I can do, but I make you happy."
"You are a vitamin for my heart."
The little girl took my hand and walked me back inside the house. I felt a
little better once I heard that. I knew I was useless but at least I made her
happy. At least... But I felt useless anyway... Aoey took care of all the
household expenses. Not only was she writing a novel, but she was also
working during the day. We choose leaves and vegetables on the roadside to
save money.
"We don't need to buy. Some vendors collected vegetables like this to sell as
well."
The sweeteyes said while cooking. I looked at the vegetables on a plate. It
didn't look so good.
"Can we really eat them? They don't pass any quality control tests in the
store."
I picked the vegetables on my plate. I wasn't sure it should enter my body.
Aoey, who did everything from preparing the food, cooking rice, walking to
the table and tasting it in front of me.
"Take. It tastes so good."
The sweet eyes put the fried bellflower in her mouth and chewed it..
"It's clean and it tastes so good."
She confides in me.
"Test it."
"Do you love me? If you love me, you have to trust me."
I tried it while she encouraged me. Knew well. She sat in a chair next to me
after seeing that my face was better after I tried it. She looked at me while
eating and smiled.
"I love you a lot."
"Oh?"
I paused as I put food in my mouth. I looked at her surprised because she
just told me that she loved me in a surprising way.
"Why are you telling me now? What is the occasion?"
"I'm so worried that you can't live like this. This is nothing like your
previous life and you could leave me."
"Why do you think that?"
"I can't do anything at all. My life is so useless."
Now I realized that without my parents I was just a good-looking little
living creature who was worthless. If I was stupid enough, I would sell
myself for a living. But I was wondering how much I would earn? Now I
was curious about myself..... Aoey reached out to touch my arm. She smiled
to give me some encouragement.
"Don't think you're worthless. You make me sad. You are everything to
me."
I could feel something in her hand. It was a heavy hand. It was not the
same. I was curious, so I grabbed her hand and took a look. Her palm was
full of scars and scratches. She tried to pull It back, but I held her tight.
"Why do you have your hand like that?"
"I'm allergic to detergent."
"Oh really? Can detergent really hurt you?"
Aoey moved her hand away and smiled sweetly at me.
"I'm happy that you're worried about me."
But I didn't smile with her. I knew she was hiding something. That had to
have something to do with her part-time job. However, I never asked her
what she did.
"You never told me what kind of part-time job you're doing?"
"Sell things as usual."
"A convenience store? I went there often but I never saw you there."
"I help sell things at the market."
"Do they give you 400 baht a day?"
"I do a lot of things. Don't worry Gen. I'm fine. My hand was soft before
because I lived comfortably with you. But my hands were like that when I
worked a lot when I lived with my mom too. I'll be fine."
I looked at her, and she looked at me. I sighed and told myself that she
wasn't hiding anything suspicious.
"If the job is too difficult for you, please don't do it."
"We won't have money."
Why is money such a difficult asset for me now? I couldn't argue with that,
so I stayed quiet. I processed in my head what I should do. There had to be
something I could do.
Dr. Todd. This name suddenly appeared in my head. I felt better once I
thought about my friend who I was close with. We even kissed to pretend in
front of my mother. I hadn't contacted him since I ran away. Would it be
okay if I approached him for help?
"What are you thinking?"
Aoey asked when I fell silent. I thought about telling her, but then...I knew
she would be opposed to the idea of letting another person into our new
world we just created.
"I was daydreaming, nothing more."
"Are you hiding something from me?"
I shook my head until my ponytail shook too. Aoey smiled at me and put
food on my plate like a loving girlfriend.
"Let's eat before it gets cold."
I felt guilty for doing something behind Aoey's back. That was the first day
I turned on my phone since I ran away. I was paranoid that the police or the
CIA or the DES or whoever would find me. But I didn't think the Thai
police were that efficient yet. And I was in trouble, I needed to turn it back
on. The police wanted my dad anyway. I didn't plan to make a call from that
phone. I just wanted Tod's number and turned it off again. I did what I
planned and now I had to borrow someone else's phone.
I sat in a coffee shop that was almost cool but I studied interior design, I
realized that the owner did that alone. Some of the furniture didn't fit well in
the store. Some were useless, but what the hell, I was in a province, not a
fancy cafe in Bangkok.
"Sorry. Can I borrow your phone for a moment?"
Not only did I despise her interior design, but I also asked for her phone.
She was the cute little girl the boy who kissed the dentist was talking about.
She was pretty, but I wanted to see the dentist more.
"Yes, sure."
The pretty sister handed me her phone easily. I smiled flirtatiously and
dialed Tod's number. My heart was beating so fast. The voice on the other
end sounded surprised by the different numbers.
"Tod, It's me, Gen.
[Naughty girl. Where are you?]
It felt good to hear that he was excited to talk to me. I was paranoid that he
wouldn't want to talk to me anymore because I was a nobody now.
"Thank you for answering the phone."
[Why would not?]
"Because now I don't have money."
[What nonsense! I'm not your friend because you're rich or poor. Where are
you now? Do you know your mom is so worried about you? She keeps
asking me where you are and can't reach you.]
"How is everyone now? Well, don't tell me. In fact, I don't have time to talk
to you. I borrowed someone else's phone. Can you do me a favor?"
[What is it?]
I felt so embarrassed. That was the first time in my life I had to ask for
someone else's money.
"Is it okay if I borrow your money? I'm in some kind of trouble."
There was silence at the end of the line. I had to call him to make sure.
"Why are you quiet? You don't want to give me your money or you're
worried that I won't be able to pay it back."
[No, not like that. I feel bad for you.]
I felt a big lump in my throat. It wasn't just him who felt bad. I felt sorry for
myself too.
[Why didn't you go with your family? At least you would have some
money. You wouldn't be in trouble like this.]
"I would have money but not Aoey."
There was a huge sigh on the other end. Tod ended the conversation
because he didn't want to make me feel bad.
[How much do you want? Tell me your bank account number.]
"I can't use my account. It was confiscated.."
[How am I going to transfer the money to you?... Ok, tell me where you
are? I'll drive there to give it to you.]
"I can not tell you. Ah, forget it. It's too much trouble. Thanks for talking to
me."
I hung up the phone quickly. I didn't want to waste other people's money
and returned it to the owner. I sat down and made some drawings on a piece
of paper to kill time. I forgot I couldn't use my account. I wouldn't feel
comfortable if Tod visited me. It was too dangerous to let too many people
know where I was. My life was so fucked up at that time. While I was
drawing, the owner named Rak looked down at my paper.
"You can draw pretty well. That is so beautiful."
I sat proudly and did not hesitate to boast.
"I studied interior design. I have some basic drawings."
"Can you paint a wall? I'm looking for someone to paint the wall of my
cafeteria. I wanted a beautiful image in it but there was no one good
enough. Can do."
"I'm Genlong."
I introduced myself and looked at the owner from head to toe.
"I'm Rak."
She was not originally from here. She must have been from Bangkok. At
least that's what the watch on her wrist said. It was Panerai Luminor 241
40mm power reserve. I realized it was authentic. Why had a rich person like
her decided to live here and sell coffee for 25 baht a cup? Was it worth it?
"I heard about you from Nueng."
"What did he say?"
"He said he saw you and Dentist Pam kiss in the store.".
It seemed like I had seen a ghost when I finished my sentence. I laughed
and had fun making the store owner feel uncomfortable. This was what she
was good at. Scare other people.
"Don't worry. You are dating a woman. It is normal. I'm dating another
woman."
I told her openly as if she were my close friend. She was surprised that I
was so open.
"Did you just move here?"
"Yes, I wasn't familiar with this place and I don't know if I will. How do
you do it?"
"I'm happy just to be with someone I love in peace.."
"Dentist Pam? I heard she's very hot."
I was in a competitive mood. I wanted to see who would be more beautiful,
Genlong or Pam. The little girl didn't respond. She just smiled sheepishly.
She didn't feel so comfortable talking about herself. I just wanted to talk to
someone. Couldn't she hear me?
"I ran away with my girlfriend,"
I shook the ice in my coffee cup.
"Is it possible to live with a woman until we are old."
"It shouldn't be impossible."
Now she has started to be more open with me.
"Someone we love is not always of the opposite sex."
"But you can't have children."
"It doesn't matter. You can do so many things to have a child. I ran away
here to create my own world with my beloved too. I am happy here."
"But there is nothing in this city."
"You're from Bangkok. You are not familiar with this environment."
"I don't know anything and I feel useless. I'm about to raise my white flag."
I shrugged.
"Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be here. I make my girlfriend work harder
than she should."
"As."
"I don't have a job,"
I said with a dark cloud hanging over my head.
"I can not work. I don't know how to do a job. It's my ego, my personality
or whatever. I have no job. Now I feel like I'm taking advantage of Aoey.
She's my girlfriend. I can't bear to be her burden. I wanted to leave."
"Don't think for her. My girlfriend thought for me she made a lot of
mistakes. Her happiness is being with you. I know."
"You can say that because you have a cafeteria. You have enough money to
buy an expensive watch, but I have nothing."
"But I also see that you have Patek Phillipe."
She knew a lot. I looked at my watch and smiled. Someone finally knew
what I was wearing.
"This is all I have. It's just an accessory."
"You draw very well. I'm asking you to draw for me now. It would be nice
if...."
We hadn't talked about work when a doorbell rang. Someone just walked
through the door. The shop owner looked nervous and she stood up
abruptly. I followed her gaze and saw a super beautiful woman with a sweet
look. She had the exact same light eyes and eyebrows as Aoey. She kept
looking back and forth between me and Rak.
"Pam."
"Sees it."
The tone wasn't very sweet but it made me feel excited. There was the
dentist Pam. She was really beautiful like the boy said. Her mouth, neck,
eyebrows, chin, skin, everything about her was so perfect. But I didn't like
the slight vanilla smell that came with it. She preferred the smell of citrus.
But vanilla suited her well. I could bet she was more delicious, she was
sweet, I was a bitter lemon.
"This is Genlong."
I was able to read through Pam. She was not only beautiful but also super
jealous. There was some pressure around her that almost made me laugh. I
was Genlong. If you pushed me, I'd push you back..
"We'll talk later, Rak. Nice to meet you."
I winked flirtatiously at the store owner and smiled at the dentist before
leaving. I had a habit of making fun of a beautiful person. I felt like it was a
beauty competition. I had to win. I felt so tense around her. I'd better go. I
looked at my watch and it wasn't time to go home yet. I hung out on the ski
and there first. I only had 40 bhats in my bag. I could only walk and walk
and walk. I stopped at a construction site where a boutique hotel was being
built. I could design your hotel but I haven't graduated yet. I looked around
and stopped before someone who looked very familiar. She was wearing a
big shirt and a big hat, but I knew who she was. My heart clenched tightly. I
quickly hid because I wanted to observe her. She was mixing cement in a
large bucket and wiping sweat. I was so angry and I wanted to rush to ask
her why she had to lie to me. She told me that she sold things in the market.
But my anger disappeared when I thought of the scratches and scars on her
tiny hands. She was trying to support me. I felt so useless that I couldn't
help her at all. My eyes were full of tears. Oh, my Aoey. I ran back home
which was not far from the market. I ran to her drawer where I kept all of
her important documents. I took out the only notebook from her. There was
only 15,000 baht in the bank. I couldn't publish her own book, pay the
water and electricity bill and the rent.
No.... I couldn't live like this! I ran back to the cafeteria. The owner of the
store didn't seem very happy when she saw me because I made some
trouble before I left. But she changed immediately once she saw that I was
crying.
"Can I borrow your phone one more time, please?"
"S... sure."
I dialed Tod's number again. His voice was happy to hear me again.
"Tod... I'll tell you where I am. Please come see me
