Since she thought I had a boyfriend, Aoey stayed away from me. Even
though we were in the same room, we didn't touch each other and we didn't
talk about personal things. The eye candy might be busy with her new novel
and her enrollment in school. She didn't have much time for me. I was also
studying a lot, I had so many projects from my teachers. So, we didn't have
time for each other. Time flew so fast. Aoey finally got into the college she
wanted, but what frustrated her was my brother, who also got into the same
college as her in the same class.
"I can study whatever I want. Mom and dad don't pressure me. I wanted to
study where Aoey studies."
At that time he talked about her as if she were a close friend. Her soft eyes
didn't seem to care and now they were closer to each other than to me. How
come there was a wall between us?
"There will be hazing activity at the university for 3 nights."
Great told me what would happen before they started school. I nodded and
looked at Aoey.
*Are you okay spending a few nights somewhere else?"
"Why wouldn't that be okay?"
Aoey and I made brief eye contact. The gentle eyes quickly looked away.
She was angry. Of course, she wouldn't be okay. She didn't like anyone
touching her. She would have a lot of physical contact in the hazing activity.
"That's good if you're okay."
Since then, Aoey and I never touched each other again. Even when she
woke up from a nightmare at night, I didn't go near her. I wouldn't give
hope to her or myself. I tried not to get too emotional. But I was still
worried about her going to the hazing activity. I needed to do something to
help her. The day I had to go to university finally arrived. I took Great and
Aoey to college. The sweet eyes quickly said goodbye and entered with my
little brother. They both looked close to each other. I was upset to see that
and quickly called someone to fix it. Not long after, the person ran up to me
at the university gate and smiled broadly.
"It really is you, Beauty! This is a dream."
"You're not dreaming. It's me here."
"It still feels like a dream."
"Nut."
A man who threatened to cut his wrist once to get my attention. He still
looked at me like a loser who could never get to me. The tall guy looked at
me with admiration. I returned that with a nice smile. I never would have
thought I would have to see him again. Fortunately, he studied there and
was on a meeting for student activity.
"Can you help me with what I asked you for?"
"Here you go."
He handed me a big sticky pink card.
"Just hang this around your neck. You will be one of the members of a
board committee here. But don't let anyone catch you."
"Thank you. I will take you to dinner."
"Are you really going to invite me to dinner?"
"And a movie."
I think it was worth the trade-off, although I felt a little disgusted with it. I
wanted to see with my own eyes to make sure Aoey could really get
through this period, despite the wall between us. Why am I so kind? Nut
made everything easy for me. He sent me an activity sheet. Many people
who didn't recognize me looked at me strangely. Nut introduced me as his
girlfriend. The reactions of the people were priceless. Even I was surprised,
but it was fine as long as I could avoid all the nosy questions.
The college welcome activities were singing the college song, writing your
dream, blah blahblah. I secretly looked at Aoey and she seemed fine with
them. Sometimes she would just stand with her arms around her because
she was afraid of being touched. What caused that? She seemed panicked or
afraid of being touched too much and that worried me. Then finally, the
icebreaker activity that the upperclassmen forced the freshmen to play
together.
Touch...
After all the friends gathered in a circle holding hands to sing a song, but it
wasn't a complete circle when one person refused to hold hands, that was
Aoey. She hugged herself tightly while all of her friends looked at her with
great judgment. A sweet senior approached her soft eyes to ask if she was
okay. I stood there, I watched everything that happened, but I didn't know
what they were saying. But everything seemed stuck. Suddenly, the older
man reached out and touched her hand, but she pushed him away from her
harshly.
"Do not touch me!"
That was what I expected.
"I did not do anything to you? Why is it so important?"
"I told you not to touch me,"
Aoey raised her eyebrows and looked at the boy who now seemed angry.
"Dirty."
"Hey, that's too much. I took a shower. I'm not dirty..."
Another older girl immediately interrupted. She tried to stop everything, but
once she touched Aoey, it happened again.
"Do not touch me! Dirty!"
It was a disaster when Aoey became a freak in front of her elders and all her
friends. I felt sorry for her. I was about to step forward to help, but
suddenly, a tall guy intervened and stood between the elders and Aoey.
"Enough. If you don't like her, then don't touch her. Not worth it."
The low and deep voice said loud and clear before turning to Aoey and
saying, "You can rest with me here."
Aoey looked at him and nodded. She followed the tall guy while I watched
from afar. I tried to look for those two where they were. I found them sitting
inside a stadium. I didn't know what they were talking about but the
situation seemed very tense. That handsome boy wrapped his arms around
him, looked at Aoey and left. Aoey stayed alone there for a longtime. After
a while, she hugged her knees and began to shake and cry.... Pain... .
I felt a strong sensation in my chest that made me want to scream. I almost
went crazy seeing her cry. Why did she cry? I worried about her. Who
would comfort her? When my patience reached its limit and I was about to
enter, that handsome older man returned and handed him a bottle of cold
water. The gentle eyes shyly wiped away tears and looked up. The boy
chatted with her standing for a while before sitting down next to her with a
good distance away. Now you have a friend... Bastard!
"Gen."
The voice bothered me. Nut, came out to look for me. He gave me a big
smile after he finally found me and showed me
his 32 teeth. He looked like Godzilla with all these teeth.
"Nut."
"I looked for you everywhere."
Nut followed my gaze and seemed surprised "That's a problematic girl."
"Yes, that's my friend."
"Did you ask to come in because you're worried about this girl?"
"Yes."
I nodded.
"She's a little strange, that's why I worry about her. I knew she would end
up like this."
I looked at Nut and gave him the most beautiful smile as much as I could
and gently touched her arms flirtatiously.
"Nut, can I ask for your help to take care of her?"
He looked at me obsessively when he heard that. He looked like he was
almost crying when I flirted with him.
"Yes of course. I will take good care of her."
"Tell your friends that he has some problems. She doesn't like being
touched by her or him..."
I paused and made up a story.
"She will go crazy."
"Go crazy?"
"Yes, but she has to be here for 3 days. She can't spend 3 days like this.
Please help her,"
I smiled at him again.
"I'm going to book two tickets for a movie, okay?"
"Sure, no problem. No one will touch her in these 3 days. Everyone will
treat her well. I promise."
"Thank you Nut and don't let her know I do all this."
"Because?"
"She doesn't want anyone to know that she has a mental illness and only I
know. If you can't keep this secret... That's too bad."
I played with him and disgusted myself. Nut quickly wanted to please me as
if he were my hero.
"I promise. Trust me."
"Thank you."
After asking Nut to help me with Aoey, I stayed to watch her a little longer
before heading home. The whole 3 days I was so worried about the eye
candy. I called Nut very often as if he was really my boyfriend. Nut happily
updated me on Aoey that she had managed to adapt. She had more friends
and no one touched her because they were aware of the problem. That
helped me calm down a lot. But she was still upset about something.
"Jade is helping Aoey closely. Now they are like close friends."
Nut referred to that handsome older man who rescued Aoey like a hero on a
white horse.
"Aoey is a very popular first-year student. Everyone thinks she is so
mysterious. When she takes off her glasses, people say she is so beautiful.
But those people never met you, that's why they think she's beautiful."
"Take off her glasses?"
I gritted my teeth and felt so upset that Aoey didn't do what I asked. Those
eyes invited trouble.
"At first she seemed like a problematic person, but now everyone likes her.
She is cute and calm, but don't touch her."
"Enough. I don't want to hear it anymore."
I finished listening and hung up immediately. Now she was popular. What
the hell was this? It had been 3 days so I went to pick her up from the
university. I sat in my car and watched her from afar. I wanted to see how
happy she was when she wasn't with me. A large group of friends followed
her and talked with her. They laughed and chatted as if they had had a lot of
fun. Aoey stood in the middle of the circle as if she were a star surrounded
by people. One of the people was Jade, that handsome senior. I wanted to
know if she would be happy when she saw me. I got out of the car and
waved at her, asking for attention. Everyone looked at me in shock but I
didn't care. I only cared about one person. Suddenly, when he saw me, her
smile faded from her face. Damn! This was frustrating.
Great who was also in the back, ran towards me when he saw me. He
seemed as upset as I was. When he caught with me, he began to inform me
about the things he already knew like gossiping child..
"Now she's a star. She may also win the popular vote. Look here, everyone
surrounded her like a star.
"Don't be a loser."
"I will not give up. I'm just upset."
I didn't answer anything because Aoey came over and greeted me.
"Hello Gen, how are you?"
How are you?... Really? It was such a distant question. We hadn't seen each
other in just 3 days, why did she ask a stupid question?
"I'm fine as always. Should we go back?"
"Okay."
Her joy at being with her friends now disappeared into thin air, as if
swallowed by a black hole. I dropped Great off at my mom's house and we
went home. There was an awkward silence the entire way. At another time
she would have updated me with what had happened in the last 3 days. Isn't
that what friends do?
"I wasn't here for 3 days..."
The soft eyes said.
"Don't you want to know what my days have been like?"
"How are you? You look good though. You seemed happy. I saw you
smiling from afar."
"You don't know how I feel but... forget it. I'm not that important."
"How are you?"
"Nothing to update."
"Why do you want me to ask then?"
I didn't pay much attention to the way I asked a question because I didn't
really know what to ask. Because I knew everything about her because of
Nut. I knew what her day was like. I knew about her more than anything
else. The soft eyes looked at me as if she was disappointed and sad. I was
surprised to see tears in her eyes. I lost before her tears...
"Since you have a boyfriend. You do not care about me anymore."
"What did you say? Of course, I worry about you."
"Just as you are now. I don't have anything important for you at all. You
didn't even ask me how I was the last 3 days. When I didn't say anything,
then you don't mind asking anything else. I knew that if you had a
boyfriend, I'd lose my place."
"What about you? I am so confused. How did you lose your place?"
"Now. You don't care about me anymore. Not only now, when we sleep,
you never hug me again. You never come close to me again. You treat me
like I'm some kind of germ."
"Aoey, I never thought that. It's just..."
I really didn't know what to say to her. How could I tell her that I didn't hug
her because I couldn't go deeper?
"I slept very soundly, so I didn't hug you."
"No, because you have a boyfriend, so you distance yourself from me. It's
so nice to have a boyfriend,"
Said the sweet eye with a sarcastic tone.
"Maybe I need to get one myself."
I bit my lip hard when I heard that. She wanted to have a boyfriend. I felt a
lot of pain in my chest. But what I had now was so unnatural, so I tried to
refuse as much as I could.
"It's actually a good idea. Maybe you can calm you down."
"Then you can stop wanting attention."
Aoey looked at me in disbelief and anger at the same time. She didn't shout,
but her voice openly showed that we were now at war.
"Good. I'm going to get a boyfriend."
"Don't forget to present it."
That was the last sentence we said before everything fell silent. She was so
happy with other people, but she threw some shit at me when she saw me. How cool was this
