About Harry

Chapter 32 - Patronus

Two days passed since that evening, Harry was getting back from work. He was tired and low. That day a murder of a young muggle women had been discovered and there were all the marks indicating a death by dark magic. They also had a pretty sure idea of the culprit. A dark wizard on which already a few investigations were underway. It wasn't the first time he witnessed a murder scene, and it wouldn't be the last, but Harry always felt somewhat to blame. If he had just spent a bit more effort in the capture, maybe that woman wouldn't have died. It was silly, Harry was aware of it. He couldn't stop all the murders in the world but nevertheless it never left him indifferent. It wasn't an easy or fun job the one he had chosen; he gave him a lot of satisfaction but also moments of discomfort. And nowadays, they affected him more than ever.
For that reason, he wasn't exactly in a good mood when he got back home.
He found Ginny in the kitchen standing behind a chair her hands clenching the back.
'Something wrong? How was work?' he asked kissing her forehead.
'I didn't go to work' she answered courtly.
'Why? Didn't you feel well again?' he asked slightly bothered.
He couldn't understand why Ginny was refusing to do something about it. It was high time to ask for some advice at St. Mungo's.
'I feel all right. Harry, I need to speak to you.' She continued and her set expression combined with a sentence that seldomly harboured a good outcome produced in Harry a fit of panic.
Hermione had been his first thought. Ginny found out. But how? She must have told her. Why for heaven's sake?! As he was opening his mouth to explain why he had decided not to tell, his inner voice warned him hastily:
Shut your mouth immediately! You don't know what she wants to talk about. Maybe you just forgot to take out the rubbish or something. Shut up and listen before a self-denunciation.
Wise.
He closed his mouth.
'You should sit down' she added.
He did as he was told and waited patiently for her to speak first.
She was silent and then she resumed 'I don't know how you will take this'
Ok. It isn't Hermione. Close call.
Although if it wasn't her was something else and in the conviction of having borne enough distress for a time, he started to feel very annoyed and upset.
'What in the hell happened now??? What else??? Don't we have enough problems as it is?!' he blurted out.
'Keep calm' she admonished him.
Harry slammed his hand on the table darting up 'I'm calm! Don't you see?! I couldn't be cooler! So, what happened?! James has been expelled! The Fidelius charm is broken, and we need to move! That Phil-guy tried to make a move on you again! I'm going to break his neck this time!' He started to guess randomly getting angrier by the minute for something he didn't even know what it was.
Ginny interjected 'No Harry, none of those. But you are not calm enough! I'm not going to tell you until you are more composed.'
'Ok' he said trying to master himself. He took a big breath and sat down 'Ok, I'm cool. I won't get upset' Ready to get upset worse than ever 'What is it?'
'I'm pregnant'
........
........
........
'Excuse me?!'
She started to fret and rant so fast and incoherently, it was difficult to understand.
'This is all your fault! You're always so careless and it's always me who must think about contraception. It must have happened just after Christmas and I was so confused, and I forgot, I wasn't in my right mind and you didn't care and it's always me! And now it's late! You're not gonna touch me again till' you don't learn to be more mindful!'
By this time, she was greatly agitated. Violent sobs were shaking her, she was swimming in a flood of tears, her face red and congested.
Harry stood up alarmed and got to her 'Ok, now calm down. Calm down and breathe' he entreated her. He made her sit down, got a glass of water from the sink and made her swallow it. He kneeled in front of her and dried the tears from her face with his hands, all the while his brain reeling madly failing to absorb the meaning of what she just disclosed.
'Better?'
She nodded; her eyes still wet and enquiring, waiting for his reaction that was late in arriving.
'Are you sure about this?' he asked trying to subdue that steady buzzing that was preventing the new notion to make its way.
She nodded again faintly, probably fearing his reaction at this piece of information since in the past, when she had communicated the same, it had never been too gracious. 'I've no idea how I could fail to realise; it was so obvious. Ted opened my eyes on Sunday. He told me that probably it was the reason of my sickness and it just made sense. I've been to St. Mungo's today and it's confirmed.' She concluded.
And that affirmation succeeded in dispersing the cloud of confusion. A name had pierced it.
Ted.
Harry was brought back to the previous Sunday while chatting with him. "Maybe you should try to cast one again in a few days. Just to see what happens. You might be able to chase your dementor away" he had said.
Finally, the significance of those words started to flow freely taking over the confusion, filling every inch of him, expanding and mounting. Turning every sorrow, fear and desperation of the last two months in something else. In a powerful, uncontrollable emotion, an emotion so intense he had never experienced before, so overwhelming it was difficult to contain.
Driven by the necessity of letting this pressing feeling out, he drew his wand from his pocket, pointed it above them and shouted at the top of his lungs 'EXPECTO PATRONUS'.
Not a stag, as he was expecting, emerged but a magnificent silver Phoenix shot out from it. It spread out her wings and circled majestic on their heads.
Ted, cheeky little bugger.
And suddenly, as if something that was buried deep inside had been finally brought back to light, a vigorous laugh full of joy and delight burst forth from him.

End of part I of III