About Harry

Albus

Today is sunny, I can perceive it through my eyelids. It seems miraculous. Never getting out from the hospital I often wonder if this is the real weather or just one chose by the admin office.

Being as it may, it's nice. I enjoy this moment in which conscience still didn't properly reach me I can pretend whatever I want to.

Mum is alive and well, on holiday in Australia, dad is there too. They sent us a nice postcard with a bright exotic bird. Sunrise is fine too, at the Burrow. She made one of her incomprehensible drawing and grandma sent it to us, it's a flower apparently. It's always a flower. I'm strolling with Rose in the Hogwarts' ground and James is getting laid with one of his girls somewhere in the castle. Everything is perfect.

It doesn't last long, it never does. It starts with a chill on one of my feet uncovered by the blanket, it follows with a hushed voice, it finishes with my mind awaking.

It's gone. We are back to reality.

I squint against the sun, my body all stiff because on the uncomfortable position on the armchair. I stretch a leg and then the other.

I pick up the hushed voice again, so I open my eyes once and for all. It's the bloody nurse. Stooped on my dad. She is telling him something and he, eyes wide open, is drinking all her words quite attentively.

'What are you doing?!' I ask abruptly already on the warpath.

She startles but then seeing me the fakest smile ever appears on her face 'Nothing, silly willy. You don't need to take that tone' she says all soppily 'Just checking how your dad is'

'He is fine' I hiss wrenching my blanket aside and standing up.

'You don't get to decide if he is fine.' She replies snidely 'The healer does'

'Alright' I say condescending 'Go and look for her then, so we may know'

She narrows her eyes viciously, but she leaves the room. I bet anything she was in Slytherin. I recognise that shrewd look between hundreds.

I approach dad but he is back in his listlessness, eyes glazed. I ask him how he is, but he doesn't answer.

The healer appears but dad doesn't answer to her questions or requests either.

'Can I have a sleeping potion?'

It's the only sentence that rise from his lips at one point.

'No, Potter. You only woke up' she says checking his pupils and his reflex.

'Please, I need it!' he implores staring straight into her eyes.

She winces and divert her gaze 'I'm sorry but you cannot. You slept enough. It may be dangerous'

He turns from her, crouching 'Can you give me something else then?' he pleads despairingly 'Please! Anything!'

And there is so much anguish in that sentence I cannot stand it.

'Can you not give it to him?' I interject brusquely 'He only wants to sleep'

'No, Albus. I'm not being mean. Sleeping potions are not to be used lightly. The mind can get damaged, the body too if used too often. It creates dependence. It's a drug' she says stern checking dad's pulse.

'But you see how he is!' I blort out 'Just one is not gonna hurt him!'

'It's not just one. It would be the third in scarcely twenty-four hours. I cannot allow it.'

Seeing my less than convinced expression, she leaves my dad's arm and comes to me putting his hands on my shoulders while my glance is still on dad crouched on himself.

'Albus, you are a good boy, and I can see you are worried for your father. But if you want to see him well, we need to be strict. He needs to stay away from every mind-altering substance as much as possible and sleeping potion is one of them. All right?'

I nod not properly convinced yet. Is it really better to leave him in this condition? What's more dangerous a potion or crushing awareness? I'd go for the potion anytime honestly but I'm not a healer. She went away not long after that, since dad wasn't cooperating in any way, asking me to try to persuade him to get out of bed.

I didn't try. It seems useless. I think it's best to leave him alone.

Grandma come next, she cries a bit seeing him in that state, but she mops up her eyes quickly.

He doesn't answer to her questions either, he only stares at the wall. Grandma caresses his head and keeps his hand for a while, but I don't think he does even notice.

Since she is here, I decide to go to James to let him know dad is awake in case he decides to be less of a jerk than usual.

I find him intent in throwing some food in the rubbish with a concerned expression.

'She doesn't want to eat.' He says as a greeting seeing me entering 'She woke up an hour ago and she only whimpered the whole hour. She keeps asking for mum' he mutters darkly under his voice.

Sunrise is still in bed clutching her Teddy bear, her green eyes full of tears.

'Hey Sunny' I say stroking her curls.

'Alby. I want mummy' she wails outstretching her arms to be hold.

'She cannot come, sweetie' I reply mechanically as her arms fasten around my neck.

'Why?'

'Because she is still at the sea'

'When she come back?'

I pause looking at James still busy with the left over, but I can see his eyes harden and his body stiffen. I think we both agree that we laid to her long enough.

'She won't come back' I reply kissing her wet cheek.