BROKEN COURAGE (Broken Redemption Book 3)

Chapter 59

Lucas

15 Years Ago

(The Morning After The Fire—Moments after learning my parents didn't survive.)

Overwhelmed by the excruciating pain in my chest, I sink into the arms that suddenly wrap themselves around me. I'm so desperate for relief from the weight of my grief that I soak in the comfort I know I don't deserve. But like the coward that I am, I don't fight it. No matter how much that voice inside my head tells me I should pull away, I just can't. Not when I know I'll never feel my parents' loving embrace again. Instead, I close my eyes and let myself believe, if only for a moment, that it's my dad holding me one last time.

I don't know how long we sit there, but Uncle George waits until my chest no longer heaves with unspeakable grief before he finally speaks. "We'll get you through this, Lucas. I promise."

"I did this," I confess in a rush. "They're dead because of me."

His grip tightens, his silence heavy as he searches for the right words. Finally, he asks, "Why would you say that, Luc? What happened to make you think any of this is your fault?"

"I left," I sob, the words ripping out of me. The anguish returns in a tidal wave of agony as I force myself to say out loud that which I'm not ready to confront. "They were sleeping when I left to go to the bonfire. I left a note, but I didn't wake them. Why didn't I wake them? They died trying to save me, and I wasn't even there."

"Christ," his voice breaks, and I can feel the tremor in his body as he struggles to contain his own grief. "This isn't on you, Lucas. I know it's hard to believe it right now, but I'm telling you, kid," he pauses, shaking me gently like he's trying to get me to listen. "This. Is. Not. On. You."

When I don't respond, he pulls back, his hands gripping my shoulders as he locks eyes with mine. "I need you to promise me, Lucas. Right here, right now—promise you'll trust me to get you through this. You do that, and I'll spend the rest of my life reminding you that you are not to blame until the day you finally wake up and believe it. I give you my word. Put your trust in me, and I swear, I'll make damn sure you and your sister will be okay."

I wish I could make him that promise, I really do. But that part of me who's driven to always do the right thing is conflicted. Blinded by guilt, that voice is telling me I don't deserve to ever be okay again.

"I don't know if you know this, but the first time I met your parents was on my wedding day," he pauses and lets out a heavy sigh. "I was terrified. Muriel and I had just found out she was pregnant, so we moved back to town and planned a quickie wedding. It was your mom and Muriel who grew up together. Embree's mom isn't an easy person to love—as I'm sure you know—and that your mother still loved her and went out of her way to help us with the wedding spoke volumes about who she was as a person."

He glances away, lost in the memory. "The first time I met them, I was pacing the floors at the back of the church, waiting for the ceremony to start. I was alone. A stranger in a new town. I knew no one, but the minute your parents saw me, that all changed. I'll never forget how your mom pulled me into a hug, like she'd known me her entire life. Then she gave your dad a look, then just as quickly slipped away," he chuckles. "It's like they had this secret language. At the time, I thought it was odd, but over the years, I came to realize that's what true love looks like. Awareness of one another. Knowing what the other person is feeling or thinking, not because of words, but because their experience in this world matters to you more than your own."

"Anyway," he exhales loudly. "Your dad patted me on the back and told me I'd be okay. He said that he and your mother would be there for Muriel and me, no matter the hour. All I had to do was call. You were in his arms during that conversation. The whole time, your big, curious blue eyes were watching me, just so full of wonder that I couldn't help but reach out and touch you. And when you wrapped your little fingers around mine..." his voice catches, a slight tremor breaking through. "I swear..."