Ends With You (A Michael Clifford FanFic)

Chapter 67

Sarah POV:

Being torn in two hurts. Bad. The next 3 days I separated myself from everyone, just staring out the window, never moving. I barely even ate. Michael was becoming pretty worried about me and Alli was a nervous wreck. But I was calm even though everything inside me was in a whirlwind. Day and Night all I did was sit on that window seat, looking out the window, drowning in my own mind. The only two words that weighed on my mind were Julliard.......Life......Julliard......Life? It was a pretty obvious answer to me, but in a way it wasn't. I had wanted this so bad since I was really little, it was my dream!

But what if I chose to go? What would happen then? I would go to the school... and learn how to dance? I could do that here....but not like at Julliard. There would be scouts constantly and I could get major scholarships or even a contract or maybe a role in a stage show? But what would any of that be without the ones who inspire me to dance? I never really told any of them but without them.... I have no reason to dance. So if I did leave them... then I would loose everything, even my ability to dance. Or maybe I would make new friends....? No don't be ridiculous, you could NEVER find anybody anywhere that could compare to Michael, ashton, Calum, Luke, Celine, Makayla and Alli. Not even Andrea, even though she had done something to hurt Alli, she didn't mean it and when this little fight was over....she could turn out to be a really good friend. But then....this fight really wasn't little was it? All these things kept running through my mind and I hated it. I hadn't made any noise in 3 days, but it was weighing down and I had to let it out somehow. I threw my head back and screamed. I screamed because I was tired of this pain and keeping it balled up inside, I screamed because it hurt to do anything else, I screamed because I was mad, mad at myself for even auditioning in the first place, I screamed because I was utterly and completely defeated, I didn't know what to do. All those different emotions were packed into that one little scream.... it died down after a while, and after that I began to softly cry... I didn't really know why I was crying... in fact I didn't know why I was doing anything these days. I just didn't know anything.

" You ready to talk now?" a voice asked. I hadn't known there was anybody but me on the bus, I thought everyone went out to eat. I turned and Michael was leaning on the door frame.

"I thought you were with the others....." I said softly.

" No, I wouldn't leave you here by yourself." He said, coming to sit by me. I scooted over for him but he pulled me back to him. He sat me in between his legs and I leaned back into his chest.

" Thank you...." I whispered.

" For what?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me, gently kissing my head.

" For giving me space... and time."

" It's alright, I was like this to the first time I had to leave you....only I didn't scream." he chuckled. I let a little giggle out as Michael played with my fingers.

" Having fun?" I said.

" Oh yes." he said sarcastically. " So have you decided?" he asked, a silent edge of fear in his voice. I didn't answer him for awhile.

" Yes." I finally said.

" What's your decision?"

" I'm.....going." I sighed. I looked back at him to see his reaction, but his face gave no hint as to what he was feeling. He only nodded and continued to hold me. How was I going to tell the others? Would they even come to the airport? I'm pretty sure they would, to say goodbye one last time to me... even though we were mad at each other, I knew they still loved me and they would all come. Then an idea slowly started creeping up on me. It began to take form in my mind.... and I was loving it. I hid the smile on my face as I realized I knew what I had to do. I wasn't going to tell anybody....not even Michael, of my plan, nobody would know until I put it into action. For now, I would just act sad.