LITTLE SECRET | RAFE CAMERON

82: 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦?

There was little hope left in her eyes, the ones fixed on the closed door to room 312, as if it was the wall behind which Rafe was fighting for his life without her by his side.

Alice still couldn't make sense of it.

She just couldn't understand how everything had unraveled so fast, how they had torn their relationship apart without even noticing. It felt like a dream, like she was waking up to a reality she hadn't seen coming, and now all she could do was wonder how they had lost it all without a single warning.

She didn't even know what time it was.

Time had lost all meaning the moment she had walked through those hospital doors. She couldn't tell how long they'd been here. How long she'd been sitting in this silence. How long Rafe had been lying in that room. How long it had been since Sarah and Ian had disappeared, off to do...something, that wasn't sitting with her, watching the seconds bleed into hours.

She hadn't even bothered to listen to what they said before they left.

She felt hollow inside, as if something vital had been ripped away, leaving only an aching emptiness. Her mind spun in endless circles, consumed by worry that clawed at her thoughts, drowning out everything else. Every thought felt like a weight.

Why hadn't she seen it coming?

Why hadn't she known?

She should've noticed the signs, should've been there for him before it even got this far, should've been a better girlfriend, shouldn't have left him.

How had things gotten so bad?

How had they gotten to this point?

Alice slowly wiped her face with the back of her hand, only then realizing that her cheeks were wet. Her whole body felt numb, like she wasn't even inside it anymore, just a hollow shell, waiting for something - anything - to happen.

And in that moment, she missed Rafe with an ache so profound, it stole the air from her lungs. 

If he could see her now - curled up on the cold hospital chairs outside his door - he would never have let her fall apart like this. He would have wrapped her in his arms, his warmth chasing away the chill of despair. He would have wiped her tears with the gentlest touch, kissed away every single drop until her pain was nothing but a memory. 

But the thought that he might never hold her like that again...

Alice closed her eyes, forcing herself to exhale, but the chill of the place, the noise, the beeping, wouldn't leave her. It wouldn't stop. She wanted to shut it all out, but it was impossible. The hospital was alive with its own pulse, its own rhythm, its own suffocating grip on her.

She pressed her palm to her forehead, trying to steady her thoughts, but they slipped through her fingers like sand.

It felt as if her entire body had shifted into self-destruct mode. Memories of Rafe started to flood her mind as she realised these might be the last memories she'll have of him.

Midsummer's. The first time she had felt...the thing between them.

Their first kiss. Made for a movie screen, but only intended for their hearts.

Their endless nights. His every touch haunting her skin.

They had both made mistakes. She knew that. Both of them. The question was whose weighed heavier. But in that moment, none of it mattered. 

All she wanted, with every desperate beat of her heart, was to hear his voice again, to see him alive. She didn't care about the past, about blame or regret. All she cared about was that he was still breathing, still here, still within reach. Everything else could wait.

„Here" A pack of crackers appeared in front of her eyes, her brother's voice cutting through the silence. „eat this. You look pale."

Alice barely glanced at it, shaking her head weakly. „I can't"

Ian crouched down in front of her, his tone firm but laced with concern. „Alice, you have to eat something, you don't look okay"

She didn't respond, her gaze fixed on the cold hospital floor. He sighed, running a hand through his hair before holding the packet out again, closer this time. „I'm serious. You'll make yourself sick, and he'd hate that. You know he would."

Tears pricked at her eyes, but she reluctantly reached for the crackers. She didn't want it, not really, but the look in her brother's eyes left her with no choice.

Ian didn't say another word after she took the first reluctant bite.

Instead, he lowered himself into the chair right beside her, the cheap plastic creaking under his weight. His presence was steady and warm, a quiet anchor in the storm of her emotions.

A moment later, Sarah appeared on her other side, her arm slipping around Alice's shoulders without a word.

The three of them sat together in the cold, sterile hallway, the air heavy with unspoken fears.

Alice kept her eyes fixed on the door, her fingers tightening around the crumpled snack wrapper in her lap. Ian leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hand brushing hers briefly.

„It's going to be okay" He said softly, his voice steady, though she could hear the tension beneath it.

She nodded faintly, though she didn't believe him. Not entirely. How could it be okay when everything felt like it was unraveling? 

Minutes stretched into what felt like hours, every tick of the clock above them digging deeper into her chest. She barely registered the muffled sounds of the hospital around them anymore, her world narrowing to the rhythmic thrum of her own heartbeat.

And then, with a sharp click, the door to Rafe's room opened and finally the doctor stepped into the hallway, exhaling deeply before looking up at the three of them. His face was a practiced mask, calm and unreadable, but the weight of that moment made Alice feel like the floor might give way beneath her.

The doctor's gaze shifted between them, his features softening just slightly as he addressed them again. „are you here for Rafe Cameron?"

Alice's breath hitched at the sound of his name. She stepped forward, her voice unsteady. „yes, we're here for him."

The doctor nodded slowly, taking a moment to glance back toward the closed door as if collecting his thoughts. Alice felt the weight of the silence pressing down on her, her chest tightening with each second he didn't speak.

„How is he?" She blurted out, her voice cracking, unable to bear another moment of not knowing. The doctor exhaled deeply and looked directly at her.

„He's okay."