LITTLE SECRET | RAFE CAMERON

68: 𝘝𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘭𝘦

The silence in the bathroom felt icy cold on Alice's skin, just like the water from the tap with which she soaked the small white towel in her hands.

The mere look down at her trembling hands made her realize that every last bit of strength she possessed had long since drained out of her.

No more words between her lips that she wanted to speak or could speak at all.

The cold drops of water flowed along her skin, slipped between her fingers and down to the sink, where they disappeared. When the towel was wet enough, she turned off the water, squeezed out the towel and finally turned away from the sink.

But the following sigh that slipped from her lips showed that she would have rather not turned around at all.

The sight of Rafe - who stood right behind her - was one that shattered her heart and left it in ruins.

The smell of his perfume - that woody scent with an austerity that usually made her feel safe - caught her off guard as she looked up at him.

But the look in his eyes was no longer the same.

Their bright blue color - which Alice loved so much - no longer carried the softness she had compared to a sea. They were dark, like a storm that swept over the waves and made the sea rage, taking away its peace and turning it into a darkness that could not be tamed.

Something had made his eyes go cold.

Mixed with the traces of dark blood on his skin, it almost made her feel like she didn't even know him anymore.

He hadn't done anything worse to Jacob than beat him up, but...Alice was quite sure that a part of Rafe would have been more than willing to do something much worse if Ian hadn't shown up in time.

Without a word, Alice brought the towel up to his eyebrow where blood had caught in the little hairs. Her hands were trembling as she held the wet towel, blood soaking into the white fabric like thick paint and leaving a stain.

„I wasn't going to..." Rafe let out a breath and finally broke the silence.

And although she didn't look him right in the eyes, she still listened to him.

„I wasn't gonna push him off the balcony" He explained after another deep breath. „seeing you with him and the stuff he said just made me..." He choked on his own words. „I just can't see you with a different guy again, Alice."

She watched blankly as he gently took the towel from her hand, threw it into the sink behind her and reached for her free hand. He stroked the perfectly clean, untouched knuckles of her hand, while his own knuckles were torn by the rage he carried deep inside.

Only when he tried to bring her hand to his lips to kiss it did she pull it away. „stop it, Rafe"

He furrowed his brows as she pushed past him to quickly bring some distance between them. „what's going on with you?"

„With me?" She huffed in disbelief and pointed a finger at his chest. „what's going on with you?"

„Me?"

„Yes, you." She raised her voice at him. „this whole night with you was awful. You showed up here, picked me up, acted like a wonderful boyfriend in front of my parents and not even half an hour later, there was nothing of it left anymore"

With a dangerously sharp step, Rafe stepped closer to her and stared down at her. „don't yell at me, alright?"

„Or what?" She challenged him and held his gaze, which burned down on her from above. „you gonna hit me like you hit Jacob...or JJ?"

"Everything I did..." He pointed at himself, the lines between his brows stern. "...was just to protect you."

„Oh really, was the thing in the car earlier also to protect me? Lying to my face, hiding who called you, yelling at me, calling me a bitch. All in one fucking night and you wanna tell me that's your way of protecting me?"

Rafe scoffed and rolled his eyes, looking away as he brought his hand to his head. „you don't even know what it means to protect someone"

„Then why are you here?" She cocked her head as his words hit her on the wrong nerve. „do you really think you're here 'cause you deserve it?"

„What are you even talking about?" He yelled.

„I'm talking about how I do everything for you and you still treat me like this. I could've sent you home to your father and let him see the way you look and you would've had to tell him what you did and he would've...he wouldn't have cared about you the way I do" She yelled before taking a deep breath and wiping away the first tear that rolled down her cheek. „but I didn't do that to protect you because I know no one else ever does so do not tell me what it means to protect someone."

„Alice..." Rafe said slowly, the sight of her tears bringing a warmth back into his eyes.

Her chest heaved as her vision cleared after another tear ran down her cheek, which she hastily wiped away. „I don't want to hear it"

He shook his head and moved closer to her as he held up his hands in surrender. „that's not what I meant, let me—„

„Rafe." She raised her hand to silence him. „I really need some air" She tried to catch herself somehow, but the mere sight of him made her anxious. „go take a shower and if you wanna explain something, start with the shit in the car today, so if you come out of that shower with nothing to tell me, you're going home. I'm sick of this shit"

„Alice—„

„You heard me, now think about it" She threw him a towel and left the bathroom without another word to escape to her room's balcony.

When Alice finally stood outside and let the cold night air fill her lungs, she slowly came to the realization that she couldn't do it anymore.

And she wasn't talking about her relationship with Rafe in general, but about the lies he brought with him.

It was as if one lie was chasing the next.

A never-ending vicious circle.

And it was far from over.