𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 ~| 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘴

Somebody You Loved

~'~

𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞

𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐈 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

Cassi

There was a moment, just before waking, when everything felt suspended in time. When the world was soft and quiet, untouched by reality, and my mind hadn't yet remembered the things that hurt. I lived for those moments. Clung to them like they were the last warm thing in a cold, empty room.

But they never lasted.

The weight of everything always found its way back in, creeping in through the cracks like ivy, slow and relentless. And then it was just me again, trapped in a body that never quite felt like my own, in a life that didn't always make sense.

But lately, against all logic, against all reason, Lando had started to make sense.

And that should have terrified me.

He wasn't supposed to be someone I relied on. He wasn't supposed to be the first person I looked for in a crowded room. He wasn't supposed to be the person I felt safe with.

Safe.

The word felt foreign, unfamiliar, like it didn't belong to me. Like it had been meant for someone else. And yet, with him... I felt it.

I wasn't sure how we had even gotten here. One day, we were two people orbiting each other in some strange, undefined way, and now he was everywhere. I wasn't sure when it had happened, when the space between us had disappeared, but it had.

And I hadn't even fought it. Which was... concerning.

It made no sense.

And honestly, sometimes, I wondered if he was just really, really dedicated to an ongoing bit. Like maybe this was some long-haul prank he had committed to weeks ago, and at some point, he'd crack, laugh, and go, "Yeah, I was just fucking with you."

But then he'd look at me. Or say my name in that way he did, like it meant something. Or throw a casual arm around my shoulder like it wasn't a big deal, like touching me wasn't something to think about. And I would believe him all over again.

It was stupid. It was ridiculous.

And it was starting to ruin me. Because if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that people like me didn't get to have things like this. Things like him.

And if I was smart, I'd remember that.

If I was strong, I'd push him away.

If I was smart, I'd keep my distance.