𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 ~| 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘴

I Miss You, I'm Sorry

~'~

𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧' 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧'

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

Cassi

I hadn't slept.

I'd spent the entire night lying on my back, staring at the ceiling of my apartment, the walls pressing in tighter with every hour that crawled by. His face wouldn't leave my head, every word he'd said, every look he'd given me.

And then I'd run.

I always run.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but it didn't stop the flood of guilt that twisted deep in my chest. I'd told him to stay away from me but I didn't want him to. Not really.

That was the problem.

I wanted him. God, I wanted him.

Yesterday, I'd been right there, so close to crossing a line I knew I couldn't uncross. His hands had been on me, his eyes too, and all it would've taken was one more second of weakness. I'd wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him. What he'd taste like. If his mouth would be as gentle as his hands or if he'd lose that control and pull me under.

I rubbed my hands over my face, heat crawling up my neck. I couldn't think like that.

The whole point of coming here, of leaving everything behind, was to stop making the same goddamn mistakes. To stop wanting people who would ruin me.

And yet here I was.

Lando was the worst kind of temptation.

He was kind without asking for anything in return. He was gentle in all the ways I didn't know how to handle. And he looked at me like I was someone worth protecting, even when I didn't believe it myself.

I didn't get it. I still didn't. Why did he care this much? I wasn't special. I wasn't some tragic, beautiful story he needed to fix. I was just... me. A mess. Someone who didn't have her shit together, who couldn't even keep people at arm's length without crumbling.

He'd stood there, calm and steady as I threw everything I had at him. The way he hadn't flinched, hadn't raised his voice. He'd just... taken it. Like he was willing to be the wall I could break against if I needed to.

No one had ever done that for me before.

I didn't want to be alone right now.

But I'd made sure I was.

I shoved off the couch, my body protesting with a groan. My eyes burned with exhaustion, but my mind was too wired to let me rest. I needed to see him.

I grabbed my keys and dashed out the door before I could talk myself out of it. I was barefoot, in my pajamas, but his door was only a couple steps away. But when I opened it, I stopped.