𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 ~| 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘴

All Of The Stars

~'~

𝐈𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐲

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

𝐈𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

𝐖𝐞'𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞

𝐖𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

 | The Letter | 

My love,

You have put me in a situation where if it's not you, it's not anyone.

I've been sitting here, trying to write you the perfect goodbye, which is foolish, isn't it? There is no such thing. Not with you. But I owe you one, something real, something honest, because I spent too long giving you pieces instead of the whole.

I love you.

I fear you do not comprehend the depth of my sentiment. My words will forever fall short. You are everything to me. And I have run out of words to say this.

You were never supposed to mean this much. But then you laughed that first night, all sunshine and softness and a little madness in the middle, and I was done for. I remember watching you tuck your hair behind your ear and thinking, God, I'm ruined.

It didn't matter what came before or after, you were it. You've always been it.

I was selfish. I thought if I kept quiet, if I just loved you the way I knew how, then maybe you could stay untouched by the ache of it all. Maybe you could see me for who I am now—because of you—not the broken version I was that night on the bridge. Not the boy drowning in grief and pain. I thought maybe I could keep that part buried. I thought maybe you'd be happier not knowing. But the truth is, I was afraid. Afraid of what remembering might take from you. Afraid of what it might take from me.

And now, I have to live with the consequence. But, my darling, we both know I can't do it again.

So when I am six feet underground, with bugs eating my brain, they will get visions of you. They will smell what you smelt like and hear your voice saying my name. They will experience unimaginable wonders as they feast on every corner of my mind that only houses you.

Beneath your fingers, I have become poetry. You cradle my face in your hands, and for a moment, I am something beautiful. Something worth loving. And, my beautiful girl, I loved you more than anything else I've ever held. If I could have done it all again, I would have loved you better. But I could not have loved you more.