𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 ~| 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘴

Sweet

~'~

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭, 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞

𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭

𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

Cassi

I stood in the hallway, staring at the paper taped to my door. The words blurred together, but I didn't need to read them again. I already knew what they said.

Eviction notice.

I was being kicked out.

Because, it turned out, money didn't just appear when you needed it. It didn't care that I had spent the last few weeks trying to figure myself out, that I had lost my job before I could even decide if I wanted it in the first place. It didn't care that I had nowhere else to go, no plan, no next step. It didn't care that I had already been barely holding myself together, that this was just another crack in the foundation of something that had already been crumbling for years.

I was so tired of failing.

I had failed at keeping my job. Failed at keeping my life together. Failed at proving, to myself and to everyone else, that I wasn't just drifting through life with no purpose.

I was useless.

It had always been there, that thought, lurking in the quiet moments, in the spaces between distractions. But now, standing here, staring at the proof of my own inadequacy, I couldn't push it away.

I had no job. No home. No direction.

Nothing I was good at.

Nothing to offer.

Nothing to make anyone stay.

And maybe I had always been running from this moment, this realization that I had nothing figured out, that I had been pretending I did for so long that I had started to believe my own lie. That it had been unraveling this whole time, and I had been too busy trying to ignore it to stop it from happening.

Maybe I had never really had control over anything at all.

I sank down onto the floor, my back against the door, knees pulled up to my chest. The paper fluttered slightly as I moved, but it stayed where it was. My life was, once again, slipping through my fingers.

I should cry.

I wanted to.

But the tears wouldn't come.

I didn't know what to do.

There was no plan, no solution waiting just beneath the surface. Just the truth of it: I had nowhere to go. Nowhere to turn.