𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 ~| 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘴

I Like The Way You Kiss Me

~'~

𝐃𝐨 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭? 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭?

𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝?

𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞? 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝?

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Warning:  🌶

I had never cried until there were no more tears.

I was so exhausted, I could barely breathe. I just lay there, curled up on the couch.

I don't know how long I was there, staring at the ceiling, before my eyes grew too heavy to keep open. But even sleep didn't bring me peace. It was a restless, fitful thing, full of half-dreams and half-memories that twisted and turned like a nightmare.

It was 2 AM, the darkest part of the night. The part where everything felt a little more real, a little more terrifying. I didn't want to move, don't think I could have even if I tried. My eyes felt tired from crying, and my throat was raw.

Even though it had only been a few days, I had gotten so used to falling asleep with him that now, without his warmth beside me, I felt cold.

It was all my fault. I had let him down. I had let myself down. I had let everyone down.

I had enough.

I couldn't bear this feeling anymore. I pushed myself off the couch and dragged my tired legs upstairs to Lando's room. Each step felt heavier than the last. His door was shut, the darkness behind it impenetrable. I hovered there, my hand on the doorknob, feeling the cold metal against my skin.

Then I let go, taking three quick steps back.

What was I doing?

I ran a hand through my hair. What could I say to make it right?

I never wanted to hurt him. I never wanted to be the reason for the sadness in those beautiful eyes of his. I raised my hand to knock, but it hovered there, trembling. What if he didn't want to see me?

I withdrew my hand, tucking it under my chin and pacing back down the hall. The guilt was a heavy stone in my stomach, and I felt like I might be sick. I turned on my heel, marching back with newfound determination.

Only to swerve at the last second.

God, this was torture.

I leaned my forehead against the cold wood of the door, listening for any sound from within. I was scared. Scared that he actually hated me. That I had hurt him so badly that there was no coming back from it.

But I couldn't make myself go in. The fear of his rejection was too strong, too real. So I settled for the next best thing. I leaned my body against the door, feeling the solidness of it against my back.

It was the closest I could be to him without actually being in the room with him. And somehow, it was enough.

I lied. It wasn't enough.

I wanted to hug him. To tell him I was sorry. To beg for his forgiveness. I'd do anything, give anything, if I could make it better.

Suddenly the door swung open, and with a yelp, I found myself falling backward into the room. I waved my arms stupidly for balance, but it was too late. Lando caught me in his arms with ease, his eyes wide with surprise.