Enhypen Sickfics

Is there any escape to your own thoughts? ~ Jay🥀

⚠️TW: Suicide, depression, a lot of sad, and death⚠️

The members of Enhypen hadn't spoken much about their childhoods. Jay was thankful about this fact, his childhood wasn't his first choice of topic to bring up. It was late, Jay being the only one awake. He stared at the coffee table before him, the couch being his only comfort. He hugged his knees close to his chest, the dim light of the moon shining through the window.

He felt his mind begin to disassociate as his eyes drooped. The silent room began to fade into the quiet bickering of familiar voices. His eyebrows furrowed as the voices became vividly clear. "I'm thinking into the future, unlike you!" "And I'm doing what's best!" "How is that the best?!" Jay felt his muscles tense as the words grew louder. "He's a smart kid and if you take a pay cut how will we pay for his college?" "I don't care if the kid goes to fucking college!" Jay began to remember his old bedroom, the door shut, sitting in the corner, desperate to get away from the voices. He felt a tinge of anger amidst the sadness, the fighting seemed to be a recurring activity. 

The voices grew in volume as he was snapped to reality with the feeling of nails digging into his arms. He flinched and moved his hands off of his arms, his fingertips dusted with drops of blood. He felt the burning realization kicking in through his arms as the warm blood dripped from the scratches. He heaved a heavy sigh as he surrendered to his room in hopes of any amount of sleep. 

The next few days drug on, his mind wandering constantly. "Jay Hyung, are you ok?" a concerned voice called to a vacant Jay. His head snapped out of its trance as his gaze moved to a concerned Sunoo. He mustered a quiet "mhm" before looking around the car. There were some conversations and slight banter. Jay yearned to join, but couldn't find the motivation to attempt any interaction. He felt mentally exhausted. His mind needed any kind of release, but there was none. Who was he to talk to? He couldn't find the courage to bring anything up to his members, not even Heeseung. They were all he had, so what was he to do with his thoughts?

Jay dismissed the thought of opening up once more, focusing on the streets surrounding the car. He grabbed his headphones and began to listen to music, in hopes of finding any kind of release. His music began as he felt his mind exit, off to think unhappy thoughts. The piano played through his ears as he felt the growing pain of his childhood still affecting him. Most assumed he had the best childhood since his parents were financially well. Times like now were when Jay wished he had grown up any other way. Days on end of remembering the loud fights, things breaking, and wondering when which parent was going to show up home again were anything but unfamiliar. 

Many small scenes like this occurred, one after the other beginning to concern his members. Jay became increasingly more secluded and depressed, refusing to talk about it. Jay seemed to become a shell of a person, not much more than a vessel to dance and sing. No matter the amount the members pleaded, nothing would ever be said from Jay. 

Jay felt a shiver in his spine as looked off of the tall building. "How did I get here? How did I go from bad thoughts all the way to here?" he mumbled, staring at the traffic below him. The sky was painted with blues and purples as the cold air blew. Jay sat, his feet dangling off of the roof. He felt hot tears begin to roll down his face as he chuckled. "I really am pathetic, huh? Instead of being a normal person and figuring these thoughts out, I chose to die instead?" He thought to his members, reminiscing on the happy times. "Will they really miss me when I'm gone?" he whispered, his tears turning to sobs as his body shook. "They have no reason to," he began, standing up, and looking over the lights below him. "Goodbye Enhypen, I'm sorry for the abrupt leave," he said as he turned his back to the edge, extending his arms. With one final sob, he fell back, ending his life and feeling the final release of death.

"Park Jeongseong of Enhypen found dead below HYBE building at 22!" was scattered in every public advertisement for many months after. 

Hello guys and gays, sorry I haven't updated much. To be truthful this entire thing was pure self-projection, I've learned I can turn vents into teeny tiny one-shots now. If wanted I can make an alternate ending that's fluffy, gladly will, and probably will anyway. Hope this was at least decent, have a nice day/night!

~Author

824 words