Yuanfen : Destined To Be Together

Chapter 44

Jimin

-"W-what?"

I watched her with disbelief in my eyes.

She shook her head violently while sobbing.

-"I-I'm...I'm not p-pure...y-you, y-you deserve...better than me..."

I listened to her, totally clueless about what she was referring to.

I tried to hold her close to me again. But this time she didn't hug me tight. Instead, she pushed me away.

-"W-what are you saying? Who said you're not....pure?"

She kept shaking her head.

She's still shaking, breathing heavily...but still crying.

In this very moment

I found myself helpless once again.

But one thing I know for sure....

Whoever or whatever that has hurt her, has no existence in her life when I'm with her.

I found myself drowning in confusion and worry as I watched her.

She slowly sat on the side of the road, holding her head.

I crouched down beside her, my own eyes shimmering, seeing her breaking into pieces.

-"H-hey hey--"

-"N-no no...y-you...deserve b-better than me...I...I'm...not worthy...of you....your l-love...all the..."

-"Why? Why do you think like that?"

I frowned, both with concern and a hint of confusion.

Her condition seemed getting worse. As if there was no coming back.

She curled into a ball right in front of my eyes, hugging her knees close to her chest.

Her shiny hairs now seemed to be dark clouds, taking her away from consciousness.

-"I-I'm....dirty...y-you...you're going to pity on me...."

I watched her with going confusion, my mouth agape in surprise.

My heart itself felt heavier with each second.

I sat down beside her, taking a short deep breath.

-"I'm not going to pity on you. And about me deserving better? I don't think I'll ever find someone better than you."

She held her head tightly, sobbing. I felt a lump forming on my throat.

It was...hard to watch her shatter...

-"N-no...you...you should leave me...I-I'm...not worthy of y-you....I'm...dirty, u-used...trash..."

I bit my lower lip, trying not to let the unshed tears roll down.

-"L-let's go home...it's late...we should not...stay here..."

I held her arms and tried to untangle her.

She had become a delicate flower, exhausted and ready to break.....

or maybe already broken, barely holding on.

I wiped my face, and supported her weight on my left hand, wrapping it around her waist.

Taking out my phone, I called my personal driver to arrive near the station with the car.

She seemed calmer now all of a sudden. But she was still shaking, seemed as if her blood pressure was getting higher.

I took off my jacket and made her wear it over hers.

But with those two jackets, she still kept shivering. Her breathing remained shallow.

I guided her to sit nearby and went to buy a water bottle.

-"Here....drink this, it might help..."

Her calm expressions wavered, eyes became teary again as she took the bottle from my hands.

I noticed her hands shaking.

And without thinking much, I helped her drink water, holding the bottle for her.

She drank it as if she'd been thirsty for months.

I held her close, let her exhausted form rest in my arms.

Within a minute, my car was there to take us back to home.

I helped her get inside, and settled in beside her.

Once again, I wrapped my one hand around her shoulder and held her close.

Occasionally, I rubbed her arm slightly, to keep her warm.

She was still shivering, just as bad as earlier.

A lot of questions swirled in my head.

Who made her think she's....trash?

I moved my face slightly downwards, and watched her trying to calm down.

Her eyes, puffy from crying, were closed. Her nose was slightly pink. And her lips trembled as she resisted breaking down again.

This must be an anxiety attack.

I reached out for a box I always keep in my car, and took out the medicine I use for anxiety.

-"Hey...you should...take this. It will help..."

I spoke softly, careful not to startle or scare her more.

She pulled back, sitting straighter as she took the pill from my hands.

I helped her slowly gulp it down with water.

I noticed. She never asked anything when I told her to do something.

And I knew how much she trusted me to do that.

I helped her get inside her apartment.

Debating whether to stay with her or not, I ended up asking

-"Will it...be uncomfortable for you if I stay with you?"

I waited for her reaction, before adding quickly but softly,

-"I'll sleep on the couch."

Her eyes had a dazed look, as if she was lost somewhere.

Somewhere darker than she showed to the world, to me.

I watched her as she blinked, realizing I had asked her something.

She nodded slowly. I could feel her throat getting drier.

I stood up and walked to her kitchen, to get water for her.

-"Do you want to get freshened up? You seem....tired..."

She looked at the glass of water I held in front of her.

A cold expression on her face, unlike the way she smiles, the way she gets shy, the way she gets amazed.

Drinking the water, she spoke in a low voice, but enough for me to hear...

-"I'll....go freshen up..."

I watched her as she stood up and slowly walked inside.

Her words replayed in my mind.

"I'm not pure, I'm dirty, used, trash."