Not Crazy. {Book 1}

Chapter 2

"Cause you can bandage the damage but you never really can fix a heart."-Demi Lovato

JJ's Pov:

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I looked pretty decent, but then again my sense of style is probably outdated.

I walked down the stairs quietly, hoping maybe Spencer would be gone, maybe I could finally be alone.

But all of my hope faded when I heard hushed whispers in the kitchen.

Great.

Both of them were here.

There was another voice but I couldn't make it out.

My memory still wasn't that reliable because of all the drugs they gave me in the hospital so I didn't really blame myself for not being able to make out the voice.

I could hear yelling.

Of course they were fighting.

I slowly walked into the kitchen leaning against the fridge wondering when they were going to realize I was in here.

"See what I've been dealing with?" Spencer snapped looking angrily at Emily.

"Sorry for thinking my friend isn't ready for any of this yet. When I went into her room this morning she had Henry's stuffed animal clutched in her hand!"

"So she misses her son still. Wouldn't you?" Spencer asked defending me.

"Both of you need to stop! She's fine but still healing, and you need to face it!"

They both looked at her with their eyebrows raised, oh great. More fighting.

And it was all because of me.

"Where were you when we asked for your help with her three years ago?" Spencer asked rudely.

"Yeah, I moved all the way back down here to make sure she was alright. You lived here." Emily crossed her arms over her chest tightly.

I would've loved to watch them fight honestly, because they weren't getting me to talk or eat or bugging me with thousands of questions.

But I didn't like watching them gang up on Garcia like that.

Garcia was still sorta my friend-I mean she wasn't an enemy but I still don't trust her like I used to.

"Maybe she didn't think I was crazy." I said clearing my throat.

Everyone's heads turned in my direction surprised as their eyes widened.

"You weren't supposed to.." Emily trailed off

"I wasn't supposed to what? Hear that? Hear you saying that I'm not ready to be back? Emily everything you've said about me so far I've heard. At the hospital, in the car when you thought I was asleep, last night and now. God how dumb do you think I am? You think I don't feel the sorrow you feel for me? Because I do, trust me I do. But you know what? Your pity work is over. You don't need to be here for me anymore, you don't need to do the stupid charity work anymore."

Her eyes widened even more, but I didn't regret anything.

"JJ-"

"Get out." I said pointing to the door.

"Jennifer." Reid said sternly, glancing over at Emily.

"Both of you. Out." I said calming myself down.

I could see the tears in Emily's eyes but I didn't care.

She didn't seem to care when I was like that three years ago.

She didn't seem to mind watching them take me away.

She didn't seem to mind not inviting me to her wedding.

So why should I mind that little miss perfect is a little hurt?

"I'm serious. Both of you need to get out right now."

"JJ calm down." Garcia said softly.

I looked at her feeling the anger I did when I was in the hospital.

She didn't care to even visit me, or call me.

No one did.

But I expected that from at least Garcia, who could always lighten your mood or make you feel better.

I needed a lot of that in there but she never called or visited.

Ever.

"Fine. All of you get out. You don't believe in me, you think I can't take care of myself and you didn't bother to contact me at all. So get out before I call the police."

"We are the police.." Spencer said slowly.

I rolled my eyes annoyed, but he did have a point.

"How many times do I need to say it? Please just get the hell out of my apartment. Leave me alone. I want to be alone. And leave your keys to my house here."

They all looked at each other before Emily walked out quickly throwing her key onto the ground, and I could tell she was mad.

Well obviously she was mad, the death glare she gave me hurt but it didn't hurt that much considering I'm already broken.

Did that sound to deep?

Garcia followed she didn't have a key,

Soon Spencer followed them, leaving his key on the counter gently, unlike Emily.

He slammed the door shut after him, which made me jump surprised by the loud noise.

I could hear Emily crying in the hallway, Garcia trying to calm her down.

But she had nothing to cry about. I didn't beg her to feel sorry for me.

I didn't ask for any of this too happen.

I didn't ask to be betrayed by everyone who I thought were my friends.

I locked the door after a minute so they couldn't get back in and stared at the key on the ground.

My eyes closed relived, and I let myself fall to the ground.

Before I even knew it I was crying.

I've kept it in for a while, and it felt good to let it all out.

And I mean everything.

I was having a breakdown, and I couldn't stop. Everything was finally hitting me.

Will's gone.

Henry's dead.

My baby's dead.

It all hit me like a lightning bolt, like I was realizing for the first time what exactly all happened.

And I wasn't ready for any of it.

My heart hurt, and I could barely breathe from the pain.

My body felt weak m, I felt weak.

My head pounded from the headache.

My throat burned for water.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy.

When I'm not, I'm just broken.

That's the word...

Broken.

I'm not crazy.

What's crazy is that he's still after me.

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(A/N):
Are you guys liking this book so far? Please be honest because I'm not really sure about it.