Not Crazy. {Book 1}

Chapter 44

Gracia's Pov:

"The worst type of sad is being unable to explain why you are."- Tumblr

I sat down across from Derek, and looked down at the coffee plastic coffee cup that was warming up my cold shaking hands.

"You okay?" Derek asked concerned, I gave him a small shrug that made him sigh.

"Baby girl, don't let him get to you. He's just hurting right now."

"I know." I sad quietly.

"Garcia."

"If anything I should be asking you if your okay. I've been ignoring you ever since I found out about Emily, you were in a car accident, almost killed, had your body dragged halfway across the country and your asking me if I'm okay."

Now he was the one who looked down.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, as I watched him take a sip from his coffee.

"Go for it."

"How come you didn't tell me about you and Emily?" He paused and looked up at me.
"Okay I know it's personal. I get that but I mean I thought we told each other everything. That was something we always did, and then when she came to me crying, I was completely pissed at you. You didn't tell me about that, and I've told you worse things then that."

"Garcia, you've never done anything worse then what I did." He said shaking his head.
"And I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."

"Derek I would neve-"

"I took advantage of our boss's-our friend that was drunk. Trust me that's the worse thing I could've ever done."

I stayed silent, this was the first in a while I've hear him call Emily his friend. Other then that he's been treating her like trash.

"Why did you do it?"

"What?"

"Why did you take advantage of her?" I asked making him close his eyes tightly like he knew that question was going to come up sooner or later.

"I don't know."

"I may not be a profiler but I can tell when your lying to me." I stated.

"I seriously don't know-after that case in New Orleans, I just-something inside me."

"Wait a minute you two hooked up after we went out for drinks that one night?"

He nodded not wanting to admit to it out loud.

"Of course, it was my suggestion to go out that night." I mumbled as I played with the lid of the cup.

"Garcia-"

"No. Let me guess, after Hotch got that call when it was just the four of us, and he had to go you saw how much Emily started drinking and just decided then? That you were going to do that?"

"Garcia it's not like that."

"Then tell me what it is like, because I tried getting Emily to leave with me, and you offered to take her home. But you did way more then that. Way, way more." I shook my head in disgust.

"My god Derek. Here I thought even you would have some sort of limits, but I guess I was wrong. Right?"

"Garcia." He said angrily.

"No." I said as I stood up, the table shook, which made Derek's coffee tip over and fall all over his lap.

"Shit!" He yelled standing up, I took a step back flinching like I thought he was going to hit me or something.

He noticed and took a deep breath calming himself down.

"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you wouldn't listen, you'd just take it the wrong way."

"There's only one way to take it!"

"Please." He said as he lowered his voice, seeing that the people around us were staring. They probably had their own problems that they had to deal with, and here I was yelling interrupting the only peace.

"I should go back and check on Reid again." I said as I threw away my full cup of coffee and grabbed the one we got for Reid.

"She's not the innocent one in this." He said making me turn around.

"Honestly, she is. Sure it was her fault for getting that drunk, but she got pregnant. She got scared. You were rude and pretended like she was nothing. She is something, she got abducted-tortured, you know scared she must've been in there? It will be a miracle if she's ever able to recover from what they did to her. Do you not understand that they had her tied down for days? That they drugged her, made her hurt her own friend, shocked her until she got everything right?"

He looked at me as his eyes widened.

"What do you mean shocked her until she got everything right?"

"Now you care about her?"

"Penelo-"

"No. Don't Penelope me. Figure it out yourself." And with that I walked away unable to be near him anymore.