Not Crazy. {Book 1}

Chapter 45

Hotch's Pov:

"Sometimes we have to do the things we were never able to do. And face the facts that've are changing, everything around us changes. We can't just live in the past, take a step forward and learn new things about the world." - Grey's Anatomy

"Hotch are you sure about this? I mean it was just a crazy suggestion. It might not work-heck it probably won't work." Blake said worry in her voice

"Hotch I don't think you should do this." Rossi said disagreeing with the idea.

"Look. If I don't, then I'll never really know what she's thinking or what she thinks she knows. If I don't do this then Hastings and El and Kate, all if them win. They can't win. So I'm doing this with or without you guys."

"I'm gonna go check on Reid." Rossi said shaking his head as he walked away.

"Good luck." Blake said giving me a small smile,
"I'll be here in case anything happens or changes. Alright?" I nodded and walked up to the door.

I took a breath as I twisted the door knob slowly, opening the door.

I shut it behind me-not all the way just in case anything did in fact happen.

"Emily?" I said softly, as her back was turned away from me towards the wall with her knees pulled to her chest.

She didn't respond.

Maybe Rossi was right, I shouldn't be doing this.

But then again Blake could be right to. She could remember.

"Emily?" I asked again softly.

"Stop." She whispered loud enough for me to hear.

I just couldn't tell if she was talking to me or herself.

"No." She said again. This time pressing her hands against her head tightly.

"Emily it's me."

"Go away."

"I'm no-"

"No!" She yelled beginning to rock herself back and fourth.
"It's all my fault!"

"Emi-"

"Go away! I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy." She kept repeating that as she rocked back and fourth her hands covering her ears now.

I took a couple more steps towards her calmly knowing talking wasn't going to work anymore.

Once I reached her bed I gently placed my hand on her back making her whole body stop moving-well it moved away from me.

She still didn't turn around to look at me though.

"Emily I know your not crazy." I said over her low whispering.

"Make it stop. I'm not crazy!"
I could here the tears in her voice and that hurt me.

I saw that there were scars and bruises on her neck, as her hair was pushed onto her shoulders.

"Emily, it's okay." I said again.

"Please." She whispered as she put her hands tighter on her head.

I looked at her not knowing how to respond to this. What was I supposed to do?

"Please just listen to me." I said as aft a I could, but she just threw the pillow she was holding at the wall in front of her.

I closed my eyes stressed out by this.

"Please." She whispered to herself again, through tears.

I couldn't help but grab her arm as gently as I could and make her look at me.

Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, but the grew when she saw me. She looked down at my hand in hers then back up and me again.

I didn't know if I should keep it on there or take it off of hers.

"Emily?" I asked again.

"Aaron." She said confused.

I looked at her shocked.

"Y-you remember me?"

"You died." She said ignoring me.
"This isn't real. You died. This is my mind playing tricks on me." She shook her head looking down again.

Now it was my turn to be confused.

"Dead?" I asked

"This isn't right." She whispered as she stood up off of the bed, pulling out all of the tubes attached to her body walking away from me.

"I don't think your supposed to take those out." I said looking at the beeping ministers.

She began pacing back and forth ignoring everything I said.

"Hey. Hey, I'm right here." I said grabbing her arms again making her stop walking.

"No."

"Emily if I wasn't real I wouldn't be able to touch you," I paused and gestured to my hands on her arms.
"And I am."

She stopped breathing for a minute, and looked down at my hands. She wrapped hers which were freezing into mine and finally let out a breath of relief as my hands warmed hers up.

"It really is you." She said as she wrapped her arms around my body, hugging me tightly.

I gently wrapped my arms around her fragile body, and kissed the top of her head lightly.

How did she remember me?

How come she didn't try attacking me like she did to Blake?

Thousands of they questions likes these-no millions of questions like these popped up into my mind racing around furiously.

But right now I know I wasn't going to ask any of them. Right now I just needed to hold her, and keep her with me as long as I could.

I didn't want to let her go, that thought didn't even come into my mind.

"Aaron." She said softly.

"Yeah?" I asked concerned.

"My legs really hurt."

"Right, sorry." I said as I pulled away against my will.
"You really should be getting sleep."

She nodded and got back into bed.

"I'll go get a nurse to get those tubes back into you properly." I began walking out of the room awkwardly.

"Please stay." She said, making me turn around.

"Emily I'll just be rig-"

"I don't want to be alone anymore. I can't if I am I'll loose it."

"Okay." I said after a minute.

"Can you lay with me?" She asked after a long period of silence between us.

"Of course." I got onto the other side of her bed, and got under the fluffy blanket I was surprised she had.

I laid on my side, and wrapped my arm around her waist protectively, while my head went right behind hers.

I could tell she felt much more comfortable with me by her.

Soon, her breathing started to steady down, and I knew she was asleep.

She could sleep. That's a good sign. Right?