Conversations With The Moon (Bruno Mars One-Shots)

Marry You pt. 27

Two weeks after the restaurant incident...

You set your pen aside, pick up your coffee and have a sip. As you close your eyes, you take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and then release it, allowing your breath to exit slowly. If it was cold and you were outside, you would consider how you might have seen your breath slowly blow out away from you curling in the frigid air. However, it is nearly the opposite of winter, summer; and according to the trend the weather has been following, it's going to be a hot one. Sunlight streaks in through the half open curtain of the window to your left. You turn your face toward it and let the warmth wash over your face. You take another breath the stand and open the curtains completely. You tie it off on the side and then have a seat on the floor before your coffee table once more. You direct you attention back to your journal, pick up your pen and begin writing.

Asher's tumble back into your life has been unexpected, unwelcome and wholeheartedly upsetting. More than anything, you can't believe how much your life has changed in the past few months. You had been dating Asher for six years, had been engaged to him for the better part of one year with plans to marry in eight months but, in less than six months, everything changed. You saw your ex-husband for the first time in almost eight years, somehow got on good terms with him, became friends again and then rekindled your relationship in two months flat. Now it's been over five months and you're happier than you ever thought you could be since you initial left him.

Questioning your own safety has never felt too painfully invasive. Of course, as a woman, you are always hyper aware of your safety, however, being apprehensive about going absolutely anywhere is becoming exhausting. The only places, that feel safe at the moment are work and home because of Asher's last stunt. You thought you had created a circle of safe people, people you trust at the very least people who you didn't think you'd have to second guess yourself around. Considering then reconsidering and planning for endless possibilities has been more that taxing, it's been exhausting, and you know that you can't take much more of this. You can't remember the last time you actually had fun, hung out with your friends or went on an actual date, one that's not at your or Bruno's place. Every moment drags on, as you worry what could happen or not happen, your senses fire and misfire at even the suggestion of danger, glimpses of Asher. Every external call at your desk sends syringes of ice water down your spine. You have even foregone your afternoon caffeine hit on account two drinks arriving for you almost every day last week at two o'clock exactly. The mere prospect of the choosing the one from Asher instead of the one from Bruno as caused your productivity to dip and your performance to stagger along rather than briskly walk. On top of that, the headaches have you regularly reaching for ibuprofen and have you taking impromptu accidental naps have nearly gotten you in trouble with your supervisor.

As of late, the only things keeping you in a good headspace despite everything has been rising early, before the sun and journaling. Jotting down your thoughts over your first coffee of the day, while getting vitamin d has been it. This and frequent check-ins from your support system, your girls and of course, Bruno.

Despite the short time that have been back together, the two of you have synced up even more firmly than you remember back in the day. He not just considerate, he seems to be planning his days around you. He texts you in the morning before or right as you are about to text him. He checks in throughout the day and checks on you at night before you go to sleep. And he takes every opportunity assist you with anything even if it's just body-doubling while you do tedious tasks like putting way laundry or cleaning your organizing things at your place. Your girls have kept you in the loop on anything concerning or suspicious and have firmly kept Asher from contacting or learning anything about you.

As you reach the middle of the page, you're on, you wrap up your thought and then cap your pen. You reach for the remote turn on the news and watch while you finish your coffee. You stash your journal then head into your bedroom and finish getting ready. You get dressed the outfit you chose last night; cream wide-leg trousers, a blue button-down shirt for vertical cream stripes and a light weight but chunky knit navy-blue cardigan. You head into the bathroom and finish your makeup by applying simple winged liner, a generous coat of mascara and a bit of highlighter on the high points of your face. You let your hair down and it falls half a dozen inches past your shoulders. You spray on a bit of product, scrunch and then use an afro pick to fluff it out some from the roots. Once you're satisfied with the shape, you pin back the curls that typically fall in your face with over sized god bobby pins that match your gold jewelry. Unsatisfied, you add a third necklace to the two you're already wearing and then you add a pair of bangles to your right wrist, followed by a set of five rings: three on your left hand and two on your right. Standing before your lengthwise mirror you take in your look of the day; you nod at yourself approvingly, grab your purse and exit your room. Just then your phone rings. You pluck it from your open purse and look to see Bruno on screen with a toothbrush in his mouth requesting a videocall. Smirking, you answer.