Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 34

Lauryn felt the dread creep into her bones as the weeks crept toward Patty's wedding date. 

October 20.

Today, Marie had gently reminded her over breakfast that they would be leaving for Belfast in a few days, stirring honey into her tea as she spoke in that calm, even tone she always used when approaching sensitive topics. 

"I spoke to Patty this morning. He says the ceremony will be outdoors in the woods. He said the autumn leaves are lovely," Marie said softly, "He really wants you there, baby."

The truth was, the idea of going back to what was supposed to be home...back to that land of ghosts and grief...was like a stone in her stomach. There were still good memories: ones of Granda's hands brushing through her tangled hair as he came in after working late to give her a kiss on the forehead while she pretended to be asleep, the smell of soda bread in his old kitchen, Patty pushing her on the rope swing over the mossy embankment behind the cottage. But they were crowded out by the darker ones.

Finn's fists shoving her into Patty's car.

Her mother's sneering voice and bloodshot eyes.

The stone floors of the orphanage that chilled her bones in any season, hard under her knees as she was beaten.

Marie didn't push her that morning. She never did. 

Marie. 

The fact that she would be coming with her made her feel much more secure. She couldn't imagine her anxiety and fears eating at her without Marie there to protect her and talk her off her cliff edges. 

She just placed her hand gently on Lauryn's shoulder and kissed the top of her head. 

"We'll take it one step at a time. If something doesn't feel good, then we'll just leave."

Lauryn nodded absently, watching her lay out what she planned to pack for them for the two-and-a-half week trip on the back of the couch, the empty suitcases at her feet. She held up two different pairs of pajamas.

"Stars or the ones with the sleepy clouds?" she asked.

Lauryn was curled in the armchair by the window, knees drawn to her chest, Felix gripped tightly in her arms. Her thumb moved in slow, rhythmic circles over the tiger's worn paw. She didn't answer, just blinked slowly, eyes a little glassy.

Marie studied her for a moment, then set both pairs of pajamas in the suitcase.

"No rush, monkey. We don't have to decide right now."

She moved across the room and sat on the floor in front of the chair, resting her arms gently on Lauryn's knees. 

"You've been very quiet today. Even for you."

Lauryn nodded. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Her fingers clenched around Felix's stripey middle.

Marie softened. 

"Do you want up?" she asked, extending her arms.

Lauryn wasn't feeling little, but she always felt safer in Marie's arms, so she nodded.

With practiced ease, Marie stood and scooped her up, one arm under her bottom, the other supporting her back. Lauryn tucked her face into Marie's neck, her breath warm and shaky. Felix stayed pressed between them.

"I d-don't l-like it th-there anym-more," Lauryn whispered finally. 

"I know, baby," Marie said, "I wouldn't like it either, if I'd been hurt there."