Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 35

Pale light pushed through the curtains, making Lauryn blink a few times as she opened her eyes. She didn't want to wake all the way up. Not yet.

Today I have to...

Pushing any thoughts of the day to come from her mind, she focused on what was around her. The room was warm and smelled of Marie's nighttime lotion, though she sensed immediately that she wasn't next to her, making her slightly worried, that ever-present monster of doubt invading her mind. 

No, mama wouldn't go anywhere. 

She nuzzled her nose into Felix, who was pressed to her chest and tucked under her chin just the way she liked him to be, and rubbed her favorite matted patch of fur behind his ear. Stretching her legs under the duvet, she felt how damp her diaper was between her thighs and whimpered as she felt the wave of those really soft, little feelings hit her once more right behind her bellybutton, making her curl up again. 

I want mama. 

She didn't want to talk. All she really wanted was to be held.

At that moment, she heard Marie talking on the balcony, her voice muffled by the thick glass, but understandable if she focused, which was hard in the sleepy little state she found herself in. 

"No, she was so brave, Theo. It's so hard. I can see it plainly...even in her posture...just how difficult this is for her."

Even hearing her voice at a distance soothed her. 

"We have the wedding this afternoon. I'm just hoping Finn and their mother don't show. And if they do and they fuck with Lauryn, they will be sorry. Really sorry. I am happy to be civil at a distance, but the minute there is even a hint of cruelty, they will feel the intensity of my hatred for them." 

The vision of Finn and her mother flashed in her mind, but her hazy, very small headspace pushed them out of her head as soon as they had arrived.

Mama will protect me. She always does.

"Yes, totally...mhm, I will. Bye." 

A moment later, she watched as the door opened and in stepped Marie with a blast of cold air wearing a hotel bathrobe and holding a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other, obviously having just ended a phone call with Theo. 

"Oh, monkey, you're awake," she said, coming to sit next to Lauryn on the bed. 

She nodded as her thumb went instinctively to her mouth. As she did so, Marie instead produced a lavender colored pacifier from her robe pocket and gently removing her thumb, lightly pushed it between her lips, which instantly soothed her. Marie brushed the hair from her forehead.

"Feeling like my little baby this morning, huh?"

She nodded, finding she couldn't speak. Words, as they often did, felt locked in her head this morning. But with Marie, she felt safe being non-verbal, and so didn't push herself.

Marie leaned in and kissed her forehead. 

"Still feel safe?"

She nodded again, but reached for her, hoping Marie would understand her needs in this moment. 

"Ah, I see," she said. 

Lifting the duvet, she climbed in next to her, tucking Lauryn against her chest like she was custom-made to fit there. Often, she felt like she was. 

Lauryn snuggled in close, her hands pushing inside Marie's robe and curling against her ribs, taking deep inhales of her familiar scent, knees drawn up between the two of them.