Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 37

Marie buckled Lauryn into the passenger seat of the  car, the engine humming low beneath them. Lauryn, bundled into a sweater and scarf, held a paper cup that Marie had filled for her back in the hotel's lobby, mostly steamed milk with a splash of coffee and two sugars, just the way she liked it.

Marie leaned in and brushed her fingertips along Lauryn's cheek. 

"There we are, darling. Warm enough?"

"Mmhm. Th-thank y-you, m-mama."

Lauryn had woken up still feeling little this first day of their big road trip through Ireland. They would be first making their way to Dublin and then down along the coast to the Ring of Kerry, the Cliffs of Moher, Connemara and up to Derry before ending in Belfast before heading home to London. Marie had not ever been to Ireland, and Lauryn wanted to show her everything.

Lauryn at first had her eyes on the grey sky outside, and then down at Marie's hand resting over hers on the console. Her mama had such long, elegant, strong fingers, and they were always so warm. 

A tiny smile curled at Lauryn's lips.

Safe. I'm safe.

Her thoughts were soft and quiet in her head, like warm socks and thick blankets. There was a fuzzy fog in the edges of her mind, that special kind of hush that fell over her mind when she regressed.

She let herself sink into it. 

After the stress of the past few days, having to be so on guard in Belfast, she felt so relaxed now that it was just her and Marie and they were putting a little space between the past pain that belonged to Belfast. A part of her would always love Belfast, but another part of her knew the painful memories couldn't be completely wiped off the cobblestones with the all-too-common rain that fell over the city.

But at this moment, none of that mattered. 

I don't need words. I don't have to be big. Mama drives. Mama takes care of me. Mama always knows what to do.

Every so often, Marie's thumb would gently stroke over the back of her hand, and Lauryn would relax even further.

She was sucking on her thumb now. Not because she was upset or needed soothing, just...her body wanted it. She thought about her pacifier, tucked away in her overnight bag in the back seat. 

Mama will give me it later.

She looked out the window again. A flock of birds flew overhead, dark against the sky, and a gust of wind blew leaves across the road like dancers. Everything outside looked like a storybook, like something out of a picture book Mama would read her at bedtime. Just like she remembered when she and Granda would ride on the train or the bus around Ireland so she could sketch different architecture on Granda's day off. 

She let out a breath and leaned her head against the side of the seat, her body going soft, her limbs warm and heavy. Marie reached across and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Marie smiled at her, one of those looks that melted her down to puddles, before looking back at the road.

"Are you doing alright, sweet girl?"

Lauryn nodded. She didn't have words today, and she didn't need them. Not with mama. 

Mama never minds if I can't talk. 

She rested her forehead against the window and watched the road unspool ahead of them, winding curves and sleepy fog and trees shedding their golden leaves like confetti.

She didn't have to do anything, just be. 

Just be mama's.

They stopped about halfway, pulling into a tiny stone village with narrow streets and a cozy café with fogged-up windows on account of the light rain that continued to fall. Marie helped Lauryn out of the car, keeping an arm lightly around her waist as they made their way over the slick cobblestones. The air smelled like peat smoke.