The question that haunted her.
Who hurt her so much that she didn't think she was lovable?
Who hurt her so much that she believed with every cell in her body that no one would want her?
Who hurt her so much that her self esteem was buried 6 feet under a long time ago?
I guess it was her.
Maybe she expected too much.
She isn't really sure.
But for some reason, she deeply believes it. She deeply believes that she doesn't deserve to be loved, that there are so many better people out there.
It sounds stupid and trivial but for her it's all she knows.
Every time someone comes along and starts treating her right, she pushes them away.
In fear they will see the cracks that she tries so hard to hide away from prying eyes.
For if they see those cracks, maybe they too will believe she is unlovable.
A thought that is unbearable for her, she knows all that but being told that by someone else will break her more than she already is.
Perhaps she is meant to spend eternity alone, being happy for everyone else.
Perhaps she hurt herself so she isn't hurt by anyone else.
Perhaps she calls herself every ugly name out there so she doesn't have to hear it from anyone else.
Then again, if you can't love you then no one will right?
___________________________
YOU ARE READING
In search of herself
Short StoryWhere an individual girl's life is just like any other teenagers life, complicated. Where she learns things about herself that she wouldn't have otherwise. Where she realizes how messed up she is and the rest of the world, but maybe, just maybe ther...
