She knows it's a sad life when she tells herself she can't trust anyone. When someone doesn't do what she expected of them she mutters 'stupid human beings' under her breath. When she has an imaginary friend that she talks to and they say everything she wants to hear but she's still not satisfied.
When every action done by anyone, including herself, shoots her into a train of thought that makes her empathize with everything.
When she hates someone she shouldn't.
And then blames herself for every mistake because she knows she is supposed to be there for them. To show them right and wrong. Because she is their sister.
Then she thinks 'man, it must be awful to have an older sister who hates you' and imagine the bad mentality this person could have because she kept calling kids stupid.
When she hates everything and she doesn't know why.
When someone gives her an idea and she tries it. But something goes wrong and she blames them.
When she does something and it goes wrong and she blames it on someone just because they were standing there.
When she wants everything to be per her expectations.
When she expects other people to commit just because she did.
When having fun becomes a task and once it's done she realizes it's not productive.
When she measures her achievement on the small things she did to make her self feel worthy.
When she feels her perfect bubble burst and is exposed to the ugly world she cries 'what's wrong with me'.
When she doesn't like someone she hates them for as long as either of them live just because she can.
When she holds grudges just so that she can prove people wrong. Because she likes being right and rubbing things in people's faces.
When she believes that her teachers have wronged her. They might as well have.
When she is upset she doesn't tell people why when asked, she expects them to figure it out. To see if people pay attention to her or if they care.
When honesty and rudeness become one.
When she is as possessive of everyone she cares about as a werewolf of their territory.
When she is always angry and people can't tell the difference if she is in a good mood or a bad one.
When she tries to change people still throw the bad in her face and then she thinks 'oh what's the point' but deep down she still tries because maybe just maybe they'd see that.
When she sits down and writes a list of all the bad things she is. Just so that maybe someone out there would understand. When she doesn't believe how there is a person out there that could love a person like her. When she finds it hard to believe some one would ever try to impress her because she is intimidating. Guys won't even talk to her. When she gives great advice to people but can't seem to get her own shit together.
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In search of herself
Short StoryWhere an individual girl's life is just like any other teenagers life, complicated. Where she learns things about herself that she wouldn't have otherwise. Where she realizes how messed up she is and the rest of the world, but maybe, just maybe ther...
