In search of herself

So alone

So alone.

So very alone.

That's what she feels, in a world full of people.

About 8 billion and yet she feels so alone.

Can't talk to anyone, so she talks to herself in an empty room everyday. It's similar to what other people do when writing in a journal, to get their feelings out and not bottled up anymore. A healthy alternative to anger.

But this is her healthy alternative to talking to other people, people who might not understand. Like her parents.

All these years and her parents still don't suspect a thing. How tragic. Sometimes she wonders, when she dies, will someone read what she has written and realize what she was going through the whole time. Will they feel guilty, that they could have done something to help her? That they could have helped her feel less alone.

Maybe, but she thinks, not.

Everything she is, her personality, is a mask. One that she wears well, in her opinion at least. Because not a single soul suspects.

Her sarcasm, her humor, her anger, her laugh, her smile, everything, a mask. She practices smiling in front of a mirror just so that her smile looks less fake and more natural.

A mask to hide how alone she really feels.

So very alone.

She talks to herself about how she feels in an empty room, secretly longing for a day someone would listen to her talk only to understand.

Talking about how she feels and what she is going through to her parents is out of the question. They thought she was making stuff up.

Sometimes she can't help but think, 'is she making this stuff up or is she really feeling this?'

Is that normal?

When you feel so alone?

Is it okay if she can't talk to her best friend about this?

Is it normal, if it's hard talking about this to another person?

Just one person, that's all she asks for, just one who would listen to her and understand and not look at her like she is a broken object that needs fixing.

She doesn't need fixing.

She has come to terms with what she feels.

But she just wants someone who understands.

Maybe then, she won't feel so alone.

________________________________

I'm sorry for the late updates, I just really needed a break from things.
When I started writing this book, I had no course of direction, I just went with the flow. And going with the flow, I feel like the book is coming towards it's end. Not sure when the last chapter will be though.
But I really hope you guy enjoyed this!

Please share, comment and vote.

Thank you!