In search of herself

What might have been...

She didn't know what came over her but for some dumb reason, probably the fact that she found him cute and nothing more, she started to have a crush on him.

Months passed and she could finally visit him.

She saw him again.

Every time he passed by or was in the same room her heart beat would sky rocket and her face would turn red.

Not many girls would actually muster up the courage to actually tell their crush they liked them but she didn't know, she guessed she was crazy, she told him anyways. More like she told her cousin and her cousin told him and he told her to wait.

A couple hours later he took the tiniest piece of paper and wrote in blue pen 'I 💙 you'.

She remembers reading those words and grinning at him and he just put his finger to his lips in a signal to be quiet.

He had know idea how happy that made her.

But then again she was just eleven, what did she know about love?

Three months she was staying there and in those three months they just shared secret smiles and she guessed she wanted more than that but she knew she would never get it.

In those three months she learned that he had more girlfriends than she had fingers on her hands but still she felt special.

Just three days before she came back, her cousin tells her "he told me that he didn't like you any more than a sister".

He also told her cousin not to tell her.

He had no idea how furious she was, she was ready to strangle him. That he had the nerve to lie to her, to deceive her.

What she didn't know was how 'normal' it was to lie to people.

That night him, her cousin and herself were on the rooftop just talking about random stuff when what he said came to her mind.

So her being her, she just blurted it out and she didn't even think he heard her but she saw her cousin standing behind him waving her hands no.

So she kept her mouth shut.

Two days later she went back to Kuwait.

And then a year later she came back for fifteen days and they ignored each other like the other didn't exist.

She went back and then four years later she followed him on Instagram.

And he asked her who she was, she pretended he didn't know her, she said 'someone you don't know'.

From there on their conversation continued about life in general and then he told her that one of her posts are familiar and apparently back when she drew something she would put it as her whatsapp profile and he saw it and liked it so he saved it.

And then he told her "yeah they are familiar".

She just laughed internally and so She told him 'I am the person you speak of' and he said her name with a question mark and she replied yes.

From there on they became good friends until one day he asked her if she liked him and she replied 'I don't know' 'cause she really didn't with all that happened four years ago.

And so the topic went to what happened four years ago.

He thought she forgot about him and she thought he tricked her.

In the end, it turned out he didn't want anyone to know that he liked her that is why he lied to her cousin.

All she replied was 'oh well, too late'.

What more could she have said.

They were something waiting to happen but because of a misunderstanding they didn't.

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