The future has already past

Untitled Part 6

you rely on others to hold you close 

and squeeze out the pain that 
they've produced 
you rely on others to kiss the wounds 

of hearts beating through chests 
and bloodied knees 

but why can't you rely on yourself 

you constantly find metaphor 

where none is written 

rest your paranoid head 
and pretend like 

for once in your life 

the words that are said 

are the words you hear 

ulterior motives

and alternative means

aren't written for all to see

but they're also not hidden

where they can't be found
you pray to a god
that you don't believe in

 if he was there

he wouldn't listen

because there are kids who don't have a bed

but here you are

under the covers

and worrying yourself

because you're scaring yourself

with the lack of pictures of your lovers

you call yourself a poet

but you can't bring yourself to
put names where names belong

instead you use vague descriptions

that change based on the poem
that remain the same even if
the people are different
you rely on your words
to worm your way into lives 

as they rely on their actions 

to pretend you're not there 

you rely on reminders 

that everyone isn't out to get you 

and there is honesty pouring out through the seams 

of those you love to miss

but still you negate your prior thoughts 

and isolate yourself 

when there are people 

reaching out to make you less 
alone
instead you search for affection 
in burned down buildings 

after swimming in an ocean of tears 
and heartache

you swim because the bridge was burned 

fire doesn't scare you. 
you rely on music and cigarettes

to console a broken heart 

as if the fire you inhale 
could melt the edges of soft pink flesh 
you rely on everything but yourself 

and it's a wonder you're still here
lay your head down baby 

and fuck the ruins you claim to be in

 you rely 
on the rain 

to wash away the feelings inside 

but the goddamn water 

doesn't clean deep enough

fuck the ruins you put yourself in 

fuck the ruins they put you in 

you rely 
you rely 
you

rely
on the fact that your keyboard never stops 
and you feel every inch of pain you're supposed to 

you rely on the rawness 

of emotion 

and you're more of a journalist the way you report 

biased in all its glory 

aimed to you