visions of simplistic intimacy fill my head
let me sleep with you my dear
but, i can't....
and through fear of a mis-explanation
(my words do my thoughts no justice)
i sit and zone out
it is not you it is me...
my anxiety makes me shut off
silently staring into the space i know as a void
reminding me
i was close
and i'll be close again
they are not the same
i don't know i started talking again
unspoken obligations ruled my mind (again)
you broke your toy into a new form
silent and obedient
yet somehow hesitant
s-e-x
written on your palms
i was told it doesn't count
i have the ability to discredit
anything coerced behind locked doors
it doesn't count...
but i so badly want(ed) you to count.
visions of being held in a romantic way
with s-e-x
not even mentioned
and i still get anxious
my prior preparation now means nothing
what if i'm never ready?
YOU ARE READING
The future has already past
PuisiWhile my mind urges me to write something more than I think I can be myself, I sit in my bed the light dimmed and music playing in the background trying to figure out why It's in this book that I will write more. I'm not even sure it matters. I'm...
