WARNING: THE AUTHOR OF THIS BOOK IS MENTALLY INSANE

More On Benjamin...

So one of you encouraged me to keep writing this stuff down, and honestly, there's not many people I can turn to right now to just gush my fucking feelings out to and not make me feel guilty.

So I'm going to tell you guys about the End of Year SFS Banquet and what happened during it.

I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but when I got there I still had my school uniform (blue dress shirt, blue and navy plaid skirt) on. I went into the grand hall and waited as people started to trickle in. Eventually, I was talking with Corey, and then I noticed him. He was standing right beside me, in a purple dress shirt and khaki shorts. Talking to a girl I know named Madison.

Well after a bit we all started looking for a place to sit. It took another few minutes to find a place (which also consisted of me noticing a guy who worked the parking lot named Matthew who's in my drama club, more about those auditions later. Or maybe never.).

I sat down to Benjamin's left and Corey's right, with Madison to Ben's right and Bailey, the girl Ben kissed onstage who's actually a really great person and a friend of mine, to Corey's left.

After we ate, and after clapping for everyone under the sun, the Nerd Awards started. These awards recognize people and events during the show--most of them being not good (I.e. Upstaging award, Wardrobe Malfunction award, etc.). But they were still hilarious. As we were clapping, his hands brushed against mine, gently and quickly. But it was nice.

About halfway through, I notice that Benjamin can't keep still. He keeps shifting in his chair, and he keeps getting dangerously close to me. After a little bit, he just...casually rests his knee against mine. And instead of shying away like a normal person would, he just...kept it there. He was warm, very warm. And it made me stiffen up and try not to move my leg, even though I liked the feeling of his skin on mine.

Afterwards, he acted like nothing had happened. Like he didn't just make me feel all warm and tingly inside. And I left. Maybe he won't keep ignoring me so much at school.

Also, on a side note, Aaron, a senior at my school and a fellow SFS castmate, came up to me. "Hey, I didn't get to talk to you after drama today," he said, "You blew me away, you did so great!"

It made me feel fluttery inside, but not because I like him. In fact, he's way too old for me. But what he said still counts. And it meant a lot to hear someone I admire so much tell me that.

So yeah. That happened tonight! I'm looking up to the future. The show may be ending it's 57th season, but maybe Benjamin actually is into me! He kept stealing glances at me, and looked right ini my eyes with those big blue eyes of his and...*shiver*

It was a good night.