WARNING: THE AUTHOR OF THIS BOOK IS MENTALLY INSANE

What Does Love Feel Like?

What does love feel like?

What a question.

People have tried to answer it so many ways: through song, through study, through movement and art.

Love has a very definitive meaning in my faith actually: Love is desire for the true good will of another person, regardless of yourself.

In retrospect, that's really what it is.

It's when you wake up in the middle of the night because you were dreaming about someone. It's when it's 2 in the morning and you're trying to get rid of the empty feeling in your stomach by writing in your stupid online diary. It's when you find yourself writing letters, dozens of them, and sealing them up and storing them where no one will ever find because you need an outlet.

Love is overwhelming. It controls your life, until every day, every action, every thought revolves around that person.

I think I was in love once.

I spent my days daydreaming of us, memorizing little details (he hates coffee, his locker is 122, he has World Civ last period and Spanish in third), memorizing everything about him from his touch to his face to the way his voice cracked when he laughed, really laughed.

I don't believe that it's possible to fall out of love.

I stopped memorizing him because he didn't want me to, and we haven't been as close. He's afraid he hurt me, and I'm afraid that I was so totally foolish that he doesn't want to talk to me. That I'm some sort of "not good enough".

But there's a part of me that will always love him. It's the part of me that still looks over at the back of his neck as I pass his locker, the one that waves to him in the hallway after a fleeting glance.

It's the part of me that tells me I'll be fine, and that I want him to be happy. That's it. Just happy and content, no matter where that puts me.

And that's what I think love is. It's not just an emotion, but I guess it could be; there were plenty of nights where I was so infatuated I felt numb, like he was my whole world. It was weird because there would be this feeling in my stomach--empty, aching--but not hungry.

I wrote this for Nicole because I saw that she was questioning what love felt like. I hope she appreciates my opinion on it. It's really not something you can put into words...but you can put it into something else. Draw it. Move it. It helps. And the time will come when you're so head over heels that you won't even know what to do because you're just overflowing with love for that person.

That's what love feels like. Like you're full to the brim and overflowing.