The Heartbreak Factor - Part Four

Chapter One.

Sat on the bench besides the River Thames, I cradled Katy as George had his arm wrapped around us both, holding us close to him. We’d sat in silence for quite a while. All the emergency services had left so we were all alone. Big Ben had just struck four in the morning and the morning traffic was slowly beginning. 

“George,” I said, finally breaking the silence, looking down at Katy to make sure she was okay. 

“Yeah,” he smiled, kissing the top of my head as he stroked Katy’s cheek as she slept in my arms. 

“I don’t want this.”

“Want what?” he asked, looking at me in confusion.

“This,” I said. “I don’t want us to be apart because I hate it.”

“Want to know something?”

I nodded, looking up at him as he continued to hug me tightly. 

“I never loved Emma. I never told her I loved her properly because I was still in love with you and it didn’t feel right telling her something I didn’t feel. I only asked her to move in with me at our apartment after Chloe let it slip that you were doing fine without me.”

My heart melted. All this time I was worried that George genuinely had moved on and was happy with Emma but he wasn’t – he was pretending because I was pretending. As I went to open my mouth to tell him how I felt, he stopped me. 

“It broke my heart seeing you all happy with Justin in magazines and on television because that smile was the smile I used to make you smile and I missed it. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you saw me. I missed the way your smile would light the whole room up. I missed the way you’d whimper just before you cried. I missed the way your hair would smell whenever I hugged you. I missed the way you’d grin whenever I kissed you. I missed the way you made me feel. I missed everything about you, regardless of how small it was. I missed you,” he smiled. 

I went to interrupt him again but he stopped me before I had the chance to say the first word. Instead, he pulled me back in for another hug as I carried on cradling a sleeping Katy.

“You know that time I said I didn't mind bringing Katy to you on the tour? Well that was because it would have been for me as well. I couldn't stand the thought of you being so far away from me for so long. I know we didn't see each other much after you moved out but knowing that you were close by was comforting.I wanted you to be happy. But the thing that hurt me most was the fact I knew that I wasn’t the one making you happy anymore; that was killing me,” he finished. 

“George,” I laughed, looking up at him as I rested my head on his chest. 

“What?” George asked, looking confused as to why I was laughing while he was close to tears.

“I wasn’t happy at all. I missed you more than anything and seeing how happy you were with Emma hurt more than anything. Justin is a great guy but that’s all he was – a great guy. He wasn’t like you. He wasn’t my guy. After when I walked in on you with that girl the other month, I thought that you were over me for good and I tried to convince myself that moving on from you was for the best but no matter what I did I was still missing you – thinking of you from the second I woke up in the morning to the second I fell back asleep at night. I said I loved Justin and I thought I did until I saw you earlier. I’ve never stopped loving you and to be honest, I don’t think I ever will stop loving you, George.”

George grinned down at me as he went to kiss me. 

 “This is it now,” I smiled, placing my finger over his lips so that he couldn’t kiss me before I had chance to finish what I was going to say. “This is forever.”