(Disclaimer: this story I've written because I just heart the song "light" by Sleeping at last. And it made me feel things i haven't felt since I got my heart broken earlier this month, by a boy who I never even dated. The song made me feel like my soul was being ripped apart, to be out together the right way, it made me forget how useless I felt after being treated like it.
- I also haven't looked the story through, so please excuse my grammar and the spelling mistakes.
- also you can imagine any of his characters (or just him) to this little story, because I haven't put a name in it, so let your imagination free.
All love - Me.
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My self worth is probably the one thing about me that I know the clearest, yet the thing I've never really known, I guess it comes from years of abuse, both from people but also myself.
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I walked out the door without thinking, without breathing, without a reason to turn around. I wasn't even going to look back, I was just going to keep walking, keep taking big steps until I'm running, and eventually I ended up at a large building, an apartment, his apartment. Again I started jogging until I reached the top of the staircase that lead to his door. I took a few moments to just stare, not think, just to knowledge that I was in fact here.
Then I knocked, and when I didn't hear sound from the other side, I banged. Loud, clear and for sure able to let his neighbors wonder.
The door swung open, and the first thing I noticed was his confused expression that filled his beautiful face. I got lost, until I felt the tears in my eyes bring me back to reality and he noticed them too, and I guess he knew what I was about to say because he didn't even blink a second time before he pulled me tightly into his embrace. His heart was beating just as fast as mine, and his warm body made mine feel dead.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry, it's going to be okay, I'm here, I'm here" was what he kept repeating to me, I don't know if it also was a small reminder to himself as-well that I was here again. I always ended up here, in his embrace, with his smell and heartbeat calming mine into a steady rhythm. "I just... i thought..." I choked out, as the tears fell down my face, some being soaked up in his shirt. But he didn't let go, if anything he held me tighter. "I know... I know" he whispered his own voice now fragile and weak, and I felt his lips on top of my head.
"He wasn't worth it, baby you deserve better, he's just an insecure loser that needed his ego bosted so he chose you, because you're beautiful and smart and horribly funny." He said his voice now suddenly confident but so sure. He grabbed my face forcing me to look at him. "Don't ever think you aren't enough because you're more than enough, and yes you make mistakes but so do I, so does everyone and your mistakes don't define your worth, your heart does, and yours is pure gold, so beautiful that it makes mine weak."
My tears didn't stop falling, but they fell for another reason now, a reason I actually saw an answer to.
"I'll give you everything I have, I'll teach you everything I know, I will rearrange the stars and bring them down to you, with every heartbeat I have left, I'll defend your every breath, I will soften every edge, hold the world to its best, I'll make you happy, even if I have to fight for it"
And with that I broke, every piece of my heart broke, but it made sense, because it didn't break to fall apart, it didn't break to make me miserable, no it broke to become whole again, it broke to be rebuild, to be loved again. He made me feel loved again, and I loved him... maybe i didn't realize before but now it's the most sure I've ever been about everything, my heart truly belongs to him, and his belong to mine.
I didn't believe in soulmates until I meet mine, until I meet him.
