"Sam wasn't to save"
His mother used to say that to me every time I came knowing on their door, and she happened to answer because Sam didn't hear the knock, yet she still let me in because she knew that even if he wasn't to save, then maybe my company would keep him from doing anything bad.
And sure maybe it kept him sober for a few hours, but it didn't keep him from relapsing, he really wasn't to save.
But besides all the drugs and shit he always did, he loved me. Like really loved me. His friends used to tell me that they knew when I'd been with him, even if they didn't see, because they could feel it, in the way his eyes sparkled a little more than usual, or the way he was more lose. It made me smile every time.
Our sex life was good too! Around three times a week, sometimes more or less but it was enough to satisfy both our needs, and sometimes it just turned into us cuddling instead of being intimate. Sam a cuddle? Yeah I know, wired thought but he really does like to! I swear!
He also always listens to me, and lets me vent when everything's too much for my head to handle, and sometimes i didn't have to say anything for him to instantly react.
But lately he's been off, and one day when I came knocking and his mother opened again, she didn't warn me how he wasn't to save, or help. No her words made me feel sick this time, like I had been hit, which was wired.
"He's gone"
Not dead, not just not in town, completely gone. Ran away, only a letter remaining with my name on it. His mother followed me in the house where I sat down, complete mute and cold. The only warm thing on me was her hand slowly running down my arm, as a comfort gesture, but it barely worked, it wasn't the same.
I opened the letter to see a bunch of world, his hands were shaking when he wrote it, because most of the words were hard to read, but I understood every word, even the last three. Which he's never said before, the three words with one meaning made a small tear run down my cheek which hadn't been broken since my father went to jail. But somehow a few words could break it.
"I love you"
