Haunt//Bed (A Matty Healy Fan Fic)

Instrument

"This next song I'd like to dedicate to my old friend, Ava. Miss you babe. Remember kids.. always help a friend in need. It could be the difference between life and death." Matty boomed into the microphone in a shaky tone.

I'm sorry that your dad's dead
I hope you amend it
I think I've lost a lot of my friends
Through belief that I'm an instrument

Singing those words always made him happy thinking of a happy Ava in the after life finally getting along with her dad. They'd be playing catch like in the good ol days.

Well fuck me if you must then
Treat me like an old friend
I can't exist within my own head
So I insist on haunting your bed

If you could only hear what I said
You'd see

I'm not scared
I'm not scared
I'm not scared
I'm not scared
I'm not scared
I'm not scared

The suffering before her death; her father, the addiction. He always wondered if he was maybe used in a way. Maybe at first for his company but the ending was something that couldn't be faked. He loved Ava more than she ever knew. He wasn't going to spend his life wondering about the past. He let it go. Suddenly, he thought about the way things ended. Closing his eyes being careful to not let tears form.

Spin car round push your head down down down
Smashing to the ground with you
There's been a piece of glass found and a terrible sound, sound
What if what they're saying is true?
Oh I prefer it in your bed; television set

The accident changed his life and ended hers. Thinking about that day was a torture he lived with every single day. The way the car was hit, her scream, the glass. Oh it was all too much. And the words that caused it all, "Hann saw her buying off your old dealer." At this point he grabbed his bottle of wine chugging as much as he could before finishing the song. His lips turning into a dark shade and his voice finding that drunken tone.
Matty never got this emotional during the song but tonight was the anniversary of her death and Ava's mom called him that morning. A thing they sometimes did mostly towards the anniversary. She remembered Matty the most out of all her friends because he introduced her to drugs. It started off with the simple weed but being the impressionable teens they were it quickly spiraled out of control. She caught Ava and Matty doing lines in her room once and sent Ava off to family members in America to seperate them. They quickly sent her back because she got worse. Ava went in and out of rehab. It made Matty feel like shit knowing in a way he helped kill her. Her mom always reassured him that it wasn't his fault; Ava was always curious it actually ran in their family and it was heavily influenced by her favorite uncle she caught once.

At this point he couldn't take anymore. He drank more out of the bottle and was stumbling over. Matty threw his microphone down along with the guitar.
"I want to go home!!" He screamed into the microphone. Tears started streaming down his face as his drunken sadness started to show.
"What's wrong with me?" He cried out as the tears came out harder. His bandmates quickly rushed to his aid once he fell to the the ground.
"I'm so fucked up. If you people knew me and what I did you would hate me! I deserve it!" He screamed out into the crowd but no one heard aside from the frightened girls in the front row. The crowd cheered which angered them all. His fragile state wasn't part of the show. It was a desperate cry for Ava mixed with stress, anger, exhaustion, and guilt. The guilt ate away at him and tonight it was worse than ever. Guilt for what happened to Ava, leaving his brother, and his parents but especially his brother. Left alone with no guidance except for a stupid 30 minute call every so often. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. "Will these stupid fucking fangirls shut their goddamn mouths for once?" He silently thought to himself. "Omg. Matty do it again. That was so hot!!" a girl screamed out followed by a few of the typical "fuck me" comments. It always made him feel like some zoo animal people paid to stare and yell at. He was human but he always wondered if these idiots were human. He got a few sympathetic looks from a hazel eyed girl in her 20s. It made him feel a little calmer knowing at least one person had their head screwed on right. George helped a stumbling Matty backstage as Hann and Ross apologized to the fans then explained Matty's state. And that night things escalated very quickly...

Author disclaimer:
Next chapter will be full of sex, drugs, mental instability and is not for the faint of heart. This chapter however, was loosely based off the whole Boston incident. It is not meant in a disrespectful way just trying to express the mental strain one must be through to have a very public meltdown. I myself have gone through a much similar incident although I am not in a band that was on tour for years.