Haunt//Bed (A Matty Healy Fan Fic)

//Anobrain//

Matty POV
They say that before death your whole life flashes before your eyes. Sorta like a movie. That wasn't my case. I heard the voices of friends, family and hospital staff fill the air. I was an idiot to get so fucked up. I hope no one hates me for my relapse. I just couldn't handle it-- the absense of love. True love. Not friend love but proper love. The kind that drives you crazy and no matter what you just can't fight it. Where you get butterflies and giggly at the thought of someone. I'd do anything to feel Ava's love again. To feel the best drug I could ever feel. For years I've felt so numb and today hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't thought of Ava in a while because we had been so busy but her mother brought it all back. I tried projecting the love on Lucy and freaked the poor girl out. Why can't I feel anything anymore? I've been trying to wake up. I scream at the top of my lungs and no one can hear me. Poor George hasn't left my side. He reads "Queer" to me on a daily basis and put on "True Romance" so much I swear I'm in the movie. As soon as I awake I know I owe George a huge apology for fucking up but then I heard words I have been wanting to hear and feel the realness of for so long out of his mouth-- "I love you." It just occured to me the love I had been searching for was there all along. Through the rehab, relapses, tours, stupid lying labels, tiny flats, and withdraws he was there for me. George loved me unconditionally. How could I've been so stupid to not see before? The way he looks at me, protects me and takes care of me. That's love in it's purest form. Now, I have to wake up and tell him that I love him too. I am such an idiot for not realizing this sooner but I intend on letting him feel that same love. I'm gonna take care of him. I promise.